Of Fire and Sky
by brookelets
Summary: When the legends become true and the Great Flame flares across the sky, Lexa wonders what will become of her people. It is destined that a people born of sky and fire will join with the people of the earth, bringing with them a leader who singly has the power to create ultimate peace or destruction for Lexa's people.
1. Chapter 1

She stood on top of the hill, looking imperiously down upon the few scattered tents nestled within the valley. She saw warriors milling around dressed in full battle armor underneath the glaring sun waiting for her command. It was a scouting mission, nothing more, she told herself, but deeper down a more sinister feeling of fear was residing.

Just days ago a great flame had descended from the sky, leaving a burning trail in its wake upon the blackened canvas of the sky. She had looked on as it had plummeted over Polis, making the children stare up to the sky in awe, and their elders looking around at each other with fear and weariness in their eyes. It was those looks that moved her to action. She could not ignore this great flame and wait for the effects to slowly reach her people. The peace she had managed to create by forming the coalition could not fail, and her intuition told her that the great flame would indeed bring change.

She had left Polis the next morning with a small party of warriors and trained scouts. She left quietly, without fanfare, on the pretense of a small scouting mission to investigate the great flame. However, neither her words nor the warriors going with her concealed the fact that mission was more along the lines of the elimination of a future threat.

She stared down once more at the valley, before lifting her gaze to the horizon to track the still present path of the Great Flame. She estimated they had little more than a day's ride left to where the Great Flam had connected with the earth. " _Heda_ ," she heard a voice call from behind, and she turned to face where it had come from. Lincoln stood between her two guards, his tanned skin shining lightly under his sweat and the heat from the sun.

"You may approach," she says clearly. He waits slightly before speaking again, "I have returned from a scout party, _Heda"… "Emo laik hir."_ He whispered again, "they are here."

Her eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, and quickly her demeanor turned from watchful and patient into war commander. " _Sen op gonakru, set raun i sin in"_ (send the warriors, watch and listen). Quickly, Lincoln retreated down the hill, and soon she turned to follow him.

When she reached the bottom, she discovered that already a party of warriors had been sent to observe the goings on surrounding the landing sight of the Great Flame. She nodded at Lincoln in thanks, before making way into her private tent. She allowed herself a moment to release Lexa from the gripping bonds of the Commander. She thought back to the stories told to her in the late recesses of the night by her fellow Natblidas.

Stories of people brought down in a shower of fire from the sky, lead by a leader with the supposed power of thousands of warriors. The tale varied from teller to teller, but the theme was the same: a people born of sky and fire lead by a person who would destroy them all.


	2. Chapter 2

Lexa slept fitfully that night, her dreams plagued with terrors. She saw her people burning in an inferno while a pair of blue eyes looked onwards. She felt fear, and she tried desperately to push it away, but it encompassed her leaving her alone in a vast darkness, which rapidly closed in around her. She fought desperately to evade its clutches, but was soothed into submission by a quiet melody that sent chills down her spine. She lay there in that darkness until she felt a light brush stroke on her, and she jerked awake, pulling her knife out, hoping finally to catch the person who had imprisoned her amidst the darkness. Instead, she realized, she had almost slit Lincoln's throat.

"My apologies, _Heda_ , I did not mean to upset you in your sleep." She lowered her knife with a slightly apologetic look in her eyes, though she still held her head high.

" _Sha Lincoln, ena?_ (Yes, Lincoln, Well?). She demanded coolly, eyeing him levelly.

"We have found them, _Heda_ , and with your leave, I would like you to see it," he spoke. "I do not believe these people are of the ones of the stories, they are weak and helpless, with no leader besides a cock-strong manchild-"

Lexa raised her hand for silence. "I did not ask for your opinion on the matter, Lincolm kom Trikru." Lincoln lowered his head in submission. "But I will acquiesce to your request and visit these people." She looked thoughtful for a moment, but a second later she spoke again, "Ready four warriors, Lincoln, we leave in when the sun rises." Lincoln simply bowed and retreated from the tent.

Lexa sighed and nimbly picked her way out of bed, donning the rest of her clothing and weapons, and stopping to reapply her war paint before exiting from her tent. It was cool outside, and Lexa was grateful for the extra warmth her armor gave her, although she knew she would hardly need it once the sun reached the top of the sky.

She strode out into the clearing, and saw her warriors standing at the ready, eagerly waiting for her command. She beckoned them with a hand signal and moved out of the clearing, their footsteps making little noise as they entered the forest. She quickly started climbing a tree, and the others soon followed in her stead. It would be easier to approach the landing sight from tree top, and besides, they would never expect to find anything watching them from above.

It took several hours to reach the landing sight, and by the time Lexa could see the clearing their landing had made she could already feel the sweat trickling down her back. She mentally cursed her armor, but was thankful for the protection of the tree's heavy branches from the sun's rays. The people, or sky people as she had decided to call them, were not as lucky.

Many of them looked pink from the heat, and she could tell due to their slow walking and constant licking of their lips that they were dehydrated. She motioned to her warriors to stop and stay still. She could barely see them through the bows of the trees, but she knew they had gotten her signal. It was likely they would be here all day, so Lexa carefully seated herself into a comfortable position with a good viewpoint.

She watched as a young man stepped out from the large metal container in the middle of clearing. It was clear from his gait and high-held head, he thought himself to be in charge. When he stopped to yell at a worker who lazed against his post, her lips immediately curled back in disgust. No decent leader should expect their workers to work without adequate sustenance, and it was clear the worker was very dehydrated. She noticed that the worker had on a strange metal contraption around his wrist, while the leader did not. She wondered if that was simply a division of rank within the sky people.

The young man walked away from the worker, his head shaking in disgust, as he ran a hand through his unruly black curls. He walked around the small camp, nodding in agreement to some things, and more often than not, yelling at those who were not doing their duty to his standards.

His words were cut off quickly when a young woman approached him, swaying her hips in a seductive manner. She whispered something in his ear, and with a smirk the young man allowed himself to be dragged away into one of the nearest tents. She shook her own head in disbelief, how could any person want to share pleasures with such an arrogant and unproven boy.

She looked around the camp again, and noticed that a young woman had approached the worker whom their leader had been yelling at previously. She touched his shoulder, and looked around quickly before pulling out what looked to be a flask, and holding it to his lips for him to drink. It looked as if she was talking to him, but before Lexa could discern what she was saying by reading her lips, the man reemerged, still pulling his shirt down over his torso.

He looked around and spotted the girl giving water to the working boy. He seemed to redden in the face and strode angrily over to the girl. He shouted, "Octavia! We do not give our resources to the traitors who refuse to remove their wristbands!" The girl shrugged and continued her actions, but when the boy moved to wrench her away from the working boy, she turned around and slapped him across the face.

Lexa was stunned when the boy did not react except for giving the girl a resigned look, and a few stiff words in response. If she had been on the receiving end of that blow, the girl would not have survived longer than five seconds afterwards. She guessed they must have a sort of relationship, and that was confirmed when the girl, Octavia, shouted at the young man, "You're no brother of mine, Bellamy, you fucking asshole!"

Ah, Lexa thought, she must be the boy's, Bellamy's, younger sister, which would explain his lack of response. She did however notice that she seemed to still be wearing her wristband and in good health. Hmmm, a leader that vouched for a select few was never a leader that promised great strength.

Soon the conflict was over, as the girl had stormed off in the direction of the forest, muttering harsh words under her breath. Lexa looked at Lincoln and nodded her head in the direction of Octavia. Her message was clear: follow the girl. Lincoln bowed his head and without a sound, crept through the trees in the same direction Octavia had gone.

When she turned back around to the camp she found Bellamy arguing heatedly with a boy with a mop of feathery brown hair on his head. Bellamy was motioning to the forest and demanding the boy go off with him to find his sister, Octavia. "I need you to go with me into that forest, Finn," Bellamy said. "It's not safe out there alone, and who knows what Octavia will get up to out there by herself." Finn sighed, and resignedly nodded his head. They both grabbed knives before heading out into the forest. Lexa motioned to another of her guards to follow them.

Bellamy and Finn moved loudly through the forest, Lexa could hear them from almost half a mile away, arguing and breaking sticks underneath their clumsy feet. No wonder they were scared of the forest, anything within a mile radius would be able to hunt them down.

It was sunset by the time they returned and instantly Lexa could tell something was wrong. Octavia was soaking wet and by the smell, covered in blood as well. As the moved closer to the camp, Lexa could see the blood that was rapidly flowing from an incision in the girl's upper thigh. When they reached the gate, Bellamy yelled loudly, "Princess, we could use some help over here!"

Princess! Lexa was shocked, she had though he was the leader, but apparently the sky people had another leader. Could this be the leader the stories had spoke of? Lexa's heart sped up at the thought, but it stopped just as quickly when a girl stepped out from the metal contraption, what had they called it? A drop ship? Yes, that was it. And in the sunlight her golden hair gleamed brightly. It looked as if she was crowned by a halo of shimmering light, and when the girl moved out of the sun's way, Lexa found herself looking into the solid blue orbs of the sky princess.


	3. Chapter 3

She sucked in a breath between her clenched teeth. Never before had a person affected her in that way; it felt as if her lungs had been forcefully compressed, her heart having an aneurism, and her brain malfunctioning all at the same time. She was sure if she had not been tucked into a groove of the tree, she would have fallen out and disgraced herself in front of her warriors. As she was calming herself down, she noticed Lincoln and one of her personal guards slip back into some trees near to her position. Lincoln made eye contact with her, and the message was clear, he would tell her what happened to Octavia and the boys later.

On that reminder, she turned her head back to look into the sky people's camp. She did not have to look hard to find the _Skai Prisa,_ for she would recognize that mane of golden locks anywhere. The _Skai Prisa_ had hurried out from the drop ship and rushed over to Bellamy, Finn and Octavia. Octavia looked as if she had passed out from blood loss, which Lexa deemed appropriate due to the apparent size of the laceration on her upper thigh. The _Skai Prisa_ motioned with her hands, already covered in blood from where she had inspected the wound, to the drop ship. Bellamy and Finn helped pick up Octavia and carry her into the drop ship, and quickly the _Skai Prisa_ followed.

Lexa was disappointed she could not see her in action, for maybe it would help her understand the powers that this girl possessed. Soon after the group had gone into the drop ship, the boy, Bellamy, was seemingly pushed out and the huge metal door closed after him. She saw bloody handprints on the back of his shirt as he banged his fist on the unyielding door. He was screaming, "Octavia! Octavia! Clarke you let me back in there right now!" His screams soon became mutters, and with a resigned slump of his shoulders he plopped down on the ground beside the drop ship, letting his back and head rest against its walls.

Lexa heard only one thing, "Clarke." She savored the way the word felt in her mouth and how it sounded tumbling out in a hushed whisper. Oh yes, she would remember that name. _Klark kom Skaikru, te Skai Prisa_ (Clarke from Sky crew, the Sky Princess) _._

 _Clarke's POV_

She heard Bellamy's voice echoing from outside, while she was organizing medical supplies within the drop ship. "Princess, we could use some help over here!" She rushed outside, and the sun momentarily blinded her, it was all she could do to keep moving her feet and hope she didn't fall off of the gangplank. Once safe from the blinding sun, she moved with astonishing speed to Octavia's side. The girl was covered in blood, and looked as if she had passed out. She quickly felt for a pulse and looked relieved when she found one, although this relief was shattered when she felt how weak and irregular it was.

Clarke did a once-over of Octavia's body, quickly assessing that the life-threatening wound was located on the upper regions of Octavia's thigh. She lifted the scraps of fabric that had been her pants to look at the wound; it was massive, but not enormously deep. It seemed that whatever had cut her had missed the major arteries in the thigh and hip areas.

She motioned for Bellamy and Finn to pick up Octavia and bring her into the drop ship where thankfully everything was ready due to Clarke's previous preparations. The boys lifted Octavia onto a makeshift metal table, while Clarke bustled around the main cabin collecting the things for cleansing and suturing the wound. After accomplishing this task, she moved to get Bellamy out of the way. He adamantly refused, holding possessively onto Octavia's limp hand. She had no choice but to pull him up and push him out of the drop ship, making sure to close the door immediately after to prevent him from reentering. It would help nobody if he continued to stay as a distraction.

Finn looked queasy, and upon seeing this she huffed impatiently and sent him upstairs to wait. She was now alone with Octavia. She pulled the scraps of fabric away from the wound. She dabbed a relatively clean cloth with isopropanol, and pressed it onto the wound. She was now grateful Octavia had passed out earlier, because this certainly was not something one would have liked to experience while awake.

She could hear Bellamy screaming outside, but she did not let it distract her. Slowly the blood stopped flowing from Octavia's leg, thanks to Clarke's handy use of a tourniquet, and Clarke realized she would now have to stitch Octavia's leg up. She sighed in advance, already knowing that the bed rest she would assign the girl to prevent her from tearing her stitches would not be followed. She guessed she would quickly become very familiar with suturing.

Clarke removed the sterilized needle from its pouch and poked it through the flesh of Octavia's leg, the girl moaned in pain. Clarke continued this process, until finally, twelve new stitches lay across Octavia's leg. By now Octavia was on the verge of waking up, her pained moans becoming louder and more frequent.

Bellamy's bangs could be heard again, and she realized that it would probably be best to let him in. She lowered the door and within seconds he was at Octavia's side. "I'm here, I promised to take care of you, and you can't leave me now, O."

Clarke's lips twitched upwards at seeing Bellamy so vulnerable and open, it was a rare sight, and seemed only to happen around his younger sister. "If you want, you can get her some water. She needs to remain hydrated to help alleviate the effects from blood loss. Make sure she doesn't try to get up or move around." And with that, Clarke left the two of them alone.

It smelled like blood and alcohol in the drop ship, and Clarke's stomach heaved. She moved as fast as she could to door and stepped outside. The air hit her full on in the face, and despite the humidity and the heat, it felt fresh. She looked down at herself, noticing the blood present over most of her body. She could feel it starting to dry, and it was sticky.

She had never seen so much blood before, but she knew that this was only the beginning. She wanted to cleanse herself, to wash away the evidence of the ground's violence. She heard footsteps behind her and felt the pressure of a hand on her shoulder. Finn's voice whispered in her ear, "Good job, princess, you're a hero." She nodded her head dumbly, and Finn continued, "She was swimming in the lake, you know how Octavia is, and she was attacked by what looked like a giant snake." He gulped in fear of the memory. "Anyways, it was all we could do to rescue her before we were eaten ourselves, but she still got bit."

Of course, Clarke thought, they could not be the only ones alive on the ground, some of the animals must have survived and mutated due to the harsh radioactive environment of the earth after the Great Wars.

She moved away from Finn's grip, heading towards the opening of the gate. She could hear Finn's voice behind her, but she was no longer listening. She quickened her gait until she was moving faster and faster, breaking out into a full sprint. She felt the air whoosh past her, and for once, everything was quiet.

 _Lexa's POV_

It felt like hours, sitting up there in the tree, just waiting for her, no, the _Skai Prisa_ to open the door to the drop ship. She could hear pained moans coming from within, and she saw Bellamy begin his tirade on the drop ship's door once again. Soon after, a loud creak announced the dropping of the door, and within seconds it had landed with a thud on the ground.

Bellamy rushed inside, and minutes later the _Skai Prisa_ took his place. She was a sight to behold; covered head to toe with blood, her eyes closed with exhaustion. Her mouth, and those plump, pink lips opened slightly, as if tasting the air. After a moment's rest, the blonde's eyes opened, and with a barely noticeable sway, she walked down the plank of the drop ship. She looked down at her hands, as if for the first time realizing that she was covered in blood.

Moments later, the boy, Finn, she thought he was called, approached her from behind, placing his hand lightly on her shoulder. Lexa stiffened at this gesture, and when Finn moved to place his lips next to Clarke's ear, she nearly growled. Lexa was alarmed at her actions, but she quickly put her reaction down to dislike of the mopey boy. It had nothing to do with Clarke, nothing… nothing at all.

Lexa snapped back to attention when Clarke began walking away from Finn towards the exit of the camp. Soon she was running, her feet snapping twigs and dry leaves as she hurried away. Lexa internally smacked her hand to her forehead; the girl would get herself killed if she carried on like that. Lexa felt compelled to follow her. She told herself she was just protecting a future investment, but deep down she knew it was more than that.

She motioned to the guards to let them know of her pursuit of the _Skai Prisa_ , before jumping nimbly from tree to tree after the flowing mane of rusted gold hair. The girl did not run for long, she had stopped, panting from the exertion, in front of a stream. The blonde had picked up a rock and thrown it into the water. Lexa was very confused, but when she heard the blonde sigh and mutter, "Thank god, no snake," Lexa realized the meaning of her actions. She felt her chest swell with pride at the intelligence of the girl.

Clarke moved closer to the stream, her eyes mesmerized by the flowing water. Tentatively she reached out a hand and stuck it in the water, and Lexa watched the blood flow downstream. But no matter how hard the blonde scrubbed, the hardened blood would not leave the creases of her hands.

Lexa heard strangled sobs coming from the blonde as she scrubbed harder and harder at her hands, and soon, the rest of her body. Lexa's heart yearned to go and comfort her, but she quickly shoved those feelings away, knowing that they could lead to nothing but weakness. Clarke had moved farther into the water, until soon only her head remained above. She was shivering, Lexa noticed, but the blonde did nothing expect stand there. Eventually, she lowered her head into the water.

Lexa waited expectantly to see Clarke's head rise out from the water, but she waited in vain. After four minutes without Clarke resurfacing, Lexa was at her wits end. She was seriously contemplating jumping in after the girl, when she noticed ripples on top of the water. They grew stronger and larger, leaving a frothing wake upon the higher stones on the water's edge. The water rose higher and higher, leaving the bed of the creek and flowing onto the ground itself.

Lexa was afraid, never before had she seen something like this. Her breathing quickened, and her hands grew clammy with sweat. What was this? She looked for Clarke, hoping desperately to see any hint of gold among the darkness of the water. The looked upwards at the sky, as if searching for a sign, but she found only a deep blackness. This unnatural darkness hid the light of the stars, and in the distance she could hear the sound of a storm approaching. She knew she should leave, but she couldn't tear her body away.

She gasped when a bolt of lightning came streaking from the sky and hit the body of water. An explosion happened when the bolt struck, sending water flying in all directions, and leaving Lexa soaked to the bone. But soon she saw the water fading away, back into the creek from whence it came. The water seemed to gather and pool itself into a large ball on top of the creek; it floated closer to Lexa, until she could just barely see inside. The orb hovered for a moment more and then splattered to the ground, leaving behind what seemed to be a body.

Lexa gasped as she recognized the familiar head of golden blonde hair. Clarke. She abandoned all pretenses of remaining hidden, and she sprinted towards the prone girl. She was curled up on her side, her body dressed in a shimmering, pearl colored, gown, which left most of her back bare to the moonlight, which was now flooding the small creek bed. Her golden hair was braided intricately in a style she had never seen before; and woven within it were pearls and bits of shell. The sight took Lexa's breath away, and as her eyes roamed the blonde's body, they focused on the sight of her bare back. Where pale alabaster skin should have been, she found delicately inked swirls and lines creating a black and white masterpiece in its place.

It was a design she had seen many times, and a design she would never forget.


	4. Chapter 4

**First off I want to thank Itsmedusty7 and Beast94 for their reviews. Please keep R &Ring, it's my first story so I'd love all the help I can get. (:**

 _Lexa's POV_

 _It was a design she had seen many times, and a design she would never forget._

Flashback

A young Lexa of eight winters sat on the floor of the past commander's council room. It was cold outside, and the open windows let in a harsh breeze that cut through Lexa, no matter how many layers she wore. She clenched her teeth down sharply to avoid their chattering, she could not afford to look weak and cold in front of her fellow _Natblidas_. Never mind how cold she was, or how painful the feeling of her separate limbs slowly falling asleep was, she kept her eyes and ears trained on her _Heda._

The lesson was almost over and Lexa could hear her _Heda's_ voice slowly becoming more impatient, as if she desperately had something she needed to say before they all left. Her _Heda_ rolled up the sleeve of her arm, revealing a pattern of swirling lines and delicate shapes and traces all woven among each other. It was one of the most beautiful things Lexa had ever seen, but she could not escape the feeling that it was not finished, just a half to the whole.

It seemed the old Commander did not miss Lexa's fascination or her increasingly somber attitude. She smiled gently down at Lexa, "Did you have something you wanted to say, Lexa?"

Lexa looked up at her imploringly, " _Heda_ , where is the rest of it?" The other _Natblidas_ snickered and were only silenced by a sharp glare from their Commander.

"I do not know, Lexa. On every commander's ascension day this tattoo appears. It stretches up over their right arm, on top of their heart, and over their collarbone down across their back. But, like Lexa said, it is not complete." She pauses there to make her point clear to the children sitting around her.

"Another duty of the Commander is to the person marked by the spirit who carries the other half of this tattoo. If you find them, it is prophesized that a great peace will come to all." Lexa and the rest of the children smiled at this, hopeful glimmers residing in their eyes.

"But, my _Natblidas_ , if you find this person, your _Seelehalb_ (literal translation from German meaning half soul), and do not bond with them to complete the tattoo, our people will die in the flames of chaos and destruction." She let this settle upon them, the lighthearted smiles gone from their faces. And with that Titus came to round up Lexa and her peers and lead them from the room. The last thing she saw was her _Heda_ rubbing the pattern on her arm looking deep in thought.

Present

Lexa stood still in front of Clarke's motionless body, her fingers absently tracing the same tattoo that had been on the arm of her past commander. She felt it within her; this was her _Seelehalb_ and Lexa would never let her go.

 _Clarke's POV_

One minute she had been standing in the creek letting its waters come and tickle her feet, and the next she was nearly head high in the water. It was if she had gone into some sort of trance. Clarke sighed lightly, it must be from exhaustion, she thought. She was so tired from healing Octavia; it had taken everything from her. What she wouldn't give to just closer her eyes and rest for only a few minutes, away from the hustle of camp and the peril of the unknown within the forest.

Yes, she thought, as she closed her eyes, just one minute's rest.

Her body felt light, not just in weight, but she felt free from the responsibilities and fears that being on the ground had burdened her with. She opened her eyes, and found herself lying on a bed of soft furs in a cave. She twisted her fingers through the furs, reveling in their softness, but slowly, as she processed the change in her location, did she unwind her fingers and sit up. It was then that she noticed the black markings covering most of her upper body. She gasped lightly, using her fingers to probe the new patterns twirling up over her arms.

"Beautiful aren't they," spoke a voice from the corner. This shook Clarke fully from all the drowsiness still residing within her. She opened her mouth, as if to speak, but found that she could not.

"Do not worry," the voice said. It sounded musical to Clarke's ears, almost unearthly. "You are here to listen and learn, not to speak," the voice continued, answering Clarke's unasked question.

"As you can see, _Klark kom Skaikru_ , you have been chosen." Clarke's eyes widened at this, confusion and doubt lingering within their azure depths. "Yes, child, that is what the markings mean," the voice said sternly. "That mark you wear there is the one of the chosen. The Spirit has chosen you, Clarke. There is no going back, you cannot escape this, you are it and it is you. You are one." The voice stops momentarily, letting Clarke has time to process what had been said.

"The blood of the Spirit runs through your veins now, and with that comes great power. People will be drawn to you and the power you possess, do not let them take it from you, it is yours alone. With it you can do great things, Clarke, but even your power is limited. Without the Bonding, you will die and leave a world of chaos in your wake."

Clarke's eyes widened at this. She was the Spirit reincarnate? Who the hell was this Spirit in the first place? What kind of power did she possess? And, what was the Bonding?

It was as if the voice could read her mind. "The Spirit, child, is the force that rules over all of us, bringing new life into the world, and taking old lives out of it. It is the Supreme Being, there are none higher."

As for your power, I do not know what kind you possess, only that they are very strong. You will see them manifest in time, do not worry."

Lastly, the Bonding is the ceremony that takes place between you and your _Seelehalb,_ the person who houses the other part of the Spirit and soul. You might feel a sense of loneliness… that comes because you are unbound. Your body craves for your Seelehalb and the feeling will only increase the longer it takes you to bond. If unbound, you will die of loneliness."

By this point, Clarke was beginning to feel very overwhelmed and nearly on the verge of a panic attack and an emotional breakdown. A cool breeze swept over her, and inside her head she hear a calming voice, " _Leave your doubts behind child, we will find them."_

Clarke sagged back on the bed and closed her eyes, trying desperately to believe the voice inside of her head. She wanted to think this was all a lie, a crazy nightmare, but she knew it was real. She could already feel the emptiness inside her, leaving her heart aching inside of her chest.

Suddenly, the world seemed to shift, and Clarke felt as if the entire room was spinning faster and faster. She tried cry out, but no sound came out of her mouth. And the last thing she remembered before losing consciousness was the melodic voice humming a melancholy tune and whispering, "Find her, _Klark kom Skaikru._ Find her before it's too late."


	5. Chapter 5

_Lexa's POV_

It had not yet been a minute that she had been standing by Clarke's side, and already she could feel the aching within her chest as the prospect of letting her go. She gasped lightly in shock when the pearly satin dress that Clarke had been wearing slowly faded and was replaced by her regular clothes, however her hair was kept the same. Lexa decided it must be the spirits at work, and she knew she was right when she hear a distinctive male voice calling out from the forest.

"Clarke? Clarke? Where the hell are you?" Lexa recognized this as her cue to disappear and soon she was hidden up in a tree, still watching ever attentively over Clarke. Bellamy and Finn barged out of the tree line and towards the stream, still yelling desperately for Clarke. They had obviously been caught up in the storm, their hair was wet and plastered across their foreheads, and despite having run to find Clarke, they were shivering.

It was Bellamy who found Clarke first. Lexa watched as his face dropped in worry, and how he literally sprinted to her side, picking her up and cradling her body in his arms. She wanted to jump out and fight him, to take back what was hers. For Clarke was hers, the Spirit had promised her that, and Lexa pieces of her heart chip and fall away watching Bellamy hold her close, as one would hold a lover.

Clarke gasped suddenly, choking on water inside of her lungs and Bellamy rubbed her back as she coughed it all out. Finn soon made his way over to her side and she could hear the two boys talking quietly amongst themselves. "She's so pale, Finn, I don't know what she was doing out there all by herself, she could have gotten herself killed." He paused, and said brokenly, "I could have lost her." Lexa flared up at this statement and apparently so did Finn.

"YOU could have lost her? I could have lost her! We all could have lost her! Besides, she ran away from camp because of you, asshole. If you hadn't been stressing her out about healing Octavia she wouldn't have flipped out and ran away."

Bellamy became red with rage, "She's not yours, Finn, and she doesn't even like you. You scared her off by coming on too strong. Besides you're already dating a girl, whats-her-name." Finn gritted his teeth and lunged at Bellamy.

Lexa could clearly see their spirits fighting against each other for dominance as they battled over Clarke's body; two betas desperately fighting for the favor of their alpha. What they didn't realize is Clarke already had a mate, and it was she. She laughed viciously inside herself, what petulant children they are, fighting over something that never was, or will be, theirs.

Clarke was causing this; she knew that, all who saw her could not resist the temptation of the energy she carried within her. They would follow her anywhere and do anything. Only because Lexa was so focused on Clarke, did she notice the initial signs of her waking up. She stirred slightly and her blue eyes fluttered open hazily. Lexa was caught off guard again by how stunningly beautiful she was, and her heart beat quickened again in her chest, surely everyone within a mile could hear it straining against the bonds of her body.

The boys did not realize their princess had awoken, and continued to fight, until she rasped out, "stop." Only then did they cease their blows, both falling to their knees in front of her, reaching out cloyingly towards her.

It was Bellamy who spoke first, "Clarke, you're awake! Oh thank God." Finn quickly followed with similar sentiments.

Clarke spoke again, cutting right to the point, "I'm not going to ask why you were fighting, I don't care, just don't bring it inside the camp." She looked pointedly at them. "I feel tired and worn out, I want go back and sleep. If you two want to fight like little girls that's fine, but I'm going back."

And with that she dragged herself to a standing position, she raised her head and her gaze locked straight with Lexa's. Blue eyes met green, and the air thickened. The blue eyes widened, and Clarke's mouth opened slightly in a 'o' shape before her knees buckled out from under her and she fell into Bellamy's arms.

Lexa felt her skin prickle, and her whole being was driving her to go out and touch Clarke, to bond with her, but fear held her back. She was forced to watch as Bellamy picked up Clarke, and carrying her bridal style, left the stream bank with Finn hot on his heels.

 _Clarke's POV_

She woke to swinging fists, and bloody spittle flying madly above her. She tried to speak, but her throat was stuck. She tried again; "stop." It was a small and hoarse croak, but both boys turned to look at her, falling to their knees in front of her and smiling like idiots. She could hear Bellamy talking, but she didn't have the strength to listen to what he was saying. She was tired. She was sore and worn out. All she wanted to do was get back to camp and sleep for a day. She made quick work of voicing her opinions.

Realizing she was still lying on the ground, she tried with difficulty to come to a standing position, hoping they would take her more seriously if she weren't lying in a prone position. After her shaking muscles had finely allowed her to stand, she lifted her head from the ground. Straight across from her she could see two orbs glinting from within the tree. Eyes! Green eyes that looked like freshly picked sage burned into hers. She felt a connection, and her tattoo lit on fire. It was like she was burning, her nerves on fire, her mouth going dry. Her body couldn't take it, and she passed out in a dead faint.

Clarke awoke to fuzzy mouth and a growling stomach. "Hey there doc, see you finally decided to enter the world of the living." Clarke moved her head to the side and saw Octavia in the hammock next hers inside of the drop ship. Suddenly, everything came back to Clarke: her visit to underwater cave, the Spirit, and the empty feeling that now lived within her. She turned slightly green and promptly threw up onto the floor of the drop ship, groaning slightly afterwards.

"God, I didn't know I looked that bad, Clarkey." Octavia shot out playfully.

"Good to know you're feeling better, O," said Clarke. "But do you think you could be useful and get me something to eat and drink?" Octavia laughed at this.

"Oh Clarke, the boys already brought you something to eat and drink. They bring you food and water at every meal time, and when you didn't wake up, well they had an excuse for seconds."

Sure enough, sitting on a small stool next to Clarke's hammock was a plate of food and a wooden cup filled with water. Clarke shoveled it in as fast as she could, moaning in delight with every bite she took. Then it occurred to her that Octavia had said 'every meal time.' "Wait, O, how long have I been out."

"Just about three days Princess," said a voice behind her. Clarke twisted around in her hammock to see Bellamy standing in the doorway. Clarke gulped while looking at him; the attraction she had once felt towards Bellamy was gone, now all she felt was loneliness. Bellamy mininterprettd her look and within seconds was speaking again, "Now don't look at me that way," he said quickly, "It was just a brawl between men, nothing to look at me that despairingly for!"

Clarke shook her head. "I don't care, Bell, I don't care." It was true. She knew she had to find her _Seelehalb_ , everything rested on that, and she wasn't going to waste her time with petty squabbles when so many important things were at stake.

"I need to clear my head," she said. "I'm going out and I want to be alone." At Bellamy's face, she added on, "I won't be far away, I just want a little quiet." The dominance of her spirit pushed Bellamy's down and he quickly gave into her demands.

"Just for a little bit, Clarke, it's not safe out there." Before, she would have agreed with him, but something about those mysterious green eyes pushed her to go out into the forest, she just knew she would find something out there that would give her answers.

"I'll be back in thirty, I promise." And with that she jumped out of the hammock and strode down the gangplank of the drop ship and into the forest.

She let her feet wander their own path, which left her brain plenty of space to ponder over everything that had happened. She thought of what the Spirit had said, about her powers and the responsibilities weighted heavily on her chest. But most of all, she thought about her _Seelehalb_ and the bonding. Her tattoo still prickled on her skin, but it was almost welcome, a reminder of what she had to do, a reminder that she could not fail. She wondered who that person might be, and if they even knew of her, and the future they must build together.

The loneliness built up within her, and she suddenly thought back to those sage green eyes, so beautiful she wanted to paint them over and over again, although she wondered if she would ever be able to make that exact shade of green.

Her thoughts stopped when her feet came to a rest, and Clarke found herself looking around at a small meadow filled with burst of color from small groups of flowers, and the sweet scent that only summer can bring. She felt at peace here, and she could hear her body humming in tune with this place. She lay down among a bed of light pink flowers, their petals sitting softly upon her clothing and skin, and closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun permeate inside and fill her up to the brim.

She sang quietly to herself, it was a familiar melody, but one she couldn't quite place where she had heard it before.

 _Lexa's POV_

Lexa walked amidst the shaded paths of the forest, listening to birds twitter to one another, and the breeze rustle quietly among the thousands of leaves above her. She savored the time she had to herself, where she could simply be Lexa, without worrying about having to play the part of Commander. As she walked she thought she hear the soft hum of a melody drifting along with the wind, it was chillingly beautiful, and she followed it to it's source, a small meadow within a grove of trees. This was a sacred place, a home of the Spirit. Was it calling to her? She knew she must go in, and what she saw took her by surprise.

A pack of wolves slept peacefully within the clearing, their fur speckled with different colored flower blossoms; their tongues lolling out of their mouths as they panted in the heat of the mid-summer day. The melody was stronger here, and it seemed to be coming from the middle of the pack of wolves.

Lexa knew that however peaceful these animals looked, they were still very dangerous, so it was with enormous hesitation that Lexa stepped to gain a closer view. There, lying in the middle of wolves was Clarke, and Lexa knew immediately why she had been drawn here. With Clarke she felt whole again, less empty and alone, and she smiled. Everything about Clarke drew her in, just like it did everyone and everything else. These monsters had submitted to her, falling in love with her resilient energy and fiery power. For Clarke showed true power. Commanding the greatest wolf pack of the forest was no mean feat. These wolves were huge, a pack of the strongest alphas, and yet, all of them were nestled up like pups beside Clarke.

It took Lexa a while to realize how quiet it had become. The music was gone, and with great embarrassment, Lexa realized that the blonde was looking at her in veiled amusement. "See something you like?" Clarke asked Lexa, cocking her head to the side as to get a better view of the brunette without waking the wolves.

Lexa quickly regained her stoic façade and pursed her lips together in a desperate attempt not to speak and let slip of her fascination for the girl in front of her. The girl probably didn't even know of the Spirit's choice, and Lexa was not about to try to explain it to her. "You are of the Sky People," was what Lexa opted for instead.

"Yes," said Clarke simply, her gaze never leaving Lexa's.

"You have passed beyond your borders and into mine." Lexa stated, knowing it was her duty to warn the girl before her people attacked her, although she wished that Clarke would never leave her side.

"I see. I was not aware there were other people on the ground. But this happens to be sacred ground, and the Spirit has given me entrance, so I do not believe you can force me to leave." She let her words trail off before she spoke again, "Well, I don't think you could even touch me really." She laughs at this and gestures to the wolves around her, "They're a protective bunch."

Lexa just gaped at her. How could she have known about this being the Spirit's sacred grove? The blonde chuckled lightly at her expression, and if Lexa had not been so embarrassed, she would have realized she had fallen in love with that sound.

Clarke gestures to the wolves again, "They told me what this place was. I did not know the significance of this place until then, I thought it only a place of peace and solitude." Her attitude turns grumpier after she says this, and under her breath she mutters, "Although it's neither of those things now."

Lexa had regained her stoicism by this point, and her lips pursed even more after hearing Clarke's last words. Trying desperately to shift the balance of power back in her favor, she said haughtily, "If I were you, Sky Child, I would leave now, unless you would like to meet a sticky end at the hands of one my less generous compatriots. It's not safe for someone like you to be here alone." These last words were spat out in Clarke's direction, all of Lexa's fear for the girl turning into anger at her stubbornness.

However, Lexa's actions only caused the blonde to close her eyes again and beginning humming the same haunting melody that had brought Lexa to the grove in the first place. Infuriated, Lexa turned around and stormed out of the meadow, her head pounding in anger towards the blonde, while her heart swooned at the proximity she had just had to her _Seelehalb._

 _Clarke's POV_

She listened as Lexa backed out of the clearing, swearing quietly under her breath in a language that Clarke didn't understand. She turned towards the wolf on her right, and stroked it's head. "She's the one _Haiefa_ (King) _._ I can feel it."


	6. Chapter 6

_Clarke's POV_

She had gone back several times to the meadow, lying peacefully among the pastel flowers splattered through the summer grass, or sleeping curled up between the pack of wolves under the glowing stars of the night sky. Finn and Bellamy often pestered her where she went, but she always managed to avoid answering the question with the full truth. It was not in her nature to lie, but part of her wanted to keep this place a secret. It was special. It was a place where she could simply be and exist as Clarke, and not leader of the 100 delinquents that had been sent down to earth.

It was on her third visit that she decided to bring some of her art materials to document the beauty of the meadow. She had crept out of camp early that morning to find the bomb shelter that Finn had told her help art supplies from before the Great Wars. Time had gone by fast, and it was now early autumn, which meant that the mornings were crisp and cool. Light dew settled upon Clarke's brow as she walked amidst the depths of the forest, and despite the jacket she wore, she shivered slightly. The bunker was slightly warmer than outside, and she took the time to explore it before retrieving the paints, brushes, and charcoals. She found several orange blankets, a gun with a beautiful silver necklace wrapped around its short barrel. She decided to take all three items along with her as well.

It was halfway through the morning when she reached the meadow again. Her chest felt lighter with every step closer, and a hearty sigh fled her lips when she broke through the ring of trees into the clearing and the sun's warm beams reached her pale face. She settled herself on the ground and took out her sketchpad. She let her fingers trace the old paper before grabbing a piece of charcoal and closing her eyes. She started to sketch, her memory rather than her eyes, providing the exact picture of the meadow before her. When she finally opened them, she found herself looking at a smaller version of the meadow before her, but it didn't feel complete, something was missing.

It took only a few more sketch marks for Clarke to add in the missing details, a handsome face and matching sage eyes emerging from the surrounding trees. She smiled as she looked down at the image, her heart thrumming approval at the addition of the girl, her _Seelehalb._

She felt frustrated at the girl, who was she to demand that Clarke stay away from the meadow!? It was the Spirit's meadow, open to all, and Clarke was not ready to lose her only place of sanctuary that she had found on the ground, no matter how many pretty girls demanded she leave. She could feel the wolves approaching, and smelt the traces of blood. She smiled as they entered, and trotted up to her pressing their bloody snouts into her drawing giggles from her lips, or licking her face and neck in signs of happiness at her return.

Normally the wolves were very clean and never showed the blood of their kills around her, unless they were offering her a share of their meal, but today all of the wolves bore bloody snouts. This must result from sort of special occasion, she thought, and her suspicions were answered when a young lanky wolf entered the clearing completely covered in fresh blood. An initiation, he had made his first kill, and when he looked at her, for a wolf, he had managed to twist his mouth into an expression that could rival Bellamy's smirk.

She bowed her head to the young wolf, her body knowing what to do even if her mind did not, and he bowed his head back. And soon, without warning, he had lunged towards her and was wriggling in her grasp and she hugged him as he kissed her face. When she was finally freed from their tussle, she turned towards him and play growled, " _Hainofa_ , look at me, what a sight I must be!"

He barked a laugh, as if he knew she was kidding, and then shook his head at her, his gaze going from playful to more serious. He looked regally at her, holding his head upright rather haughtily, which only made Clarke laugh at him more. If possible, the wolf looked offended and barked snootily at the blonde girl in front of him. "Nice try, _Hainofa_ , just because you've been fully initiated into the pack doesn't mean you can be all high and mighty to me, mister."

She only stopped laughing at the bark of _Haiefa_ , and he looked seriously at her before motioning his head towards his son, _Hainofa_ , and then back to her again. She looked startled, "You want to initiate me?" The older wolf nodded his head in a sharp bob, his eyes piercing hers. She felt her eyes begin to water, and she nodded once before speaking, "You really want me to be a part of your family?" Her voice warbled and tears began a slow decent down her flushed and bloody face. _Haiefa_ stepped closer to her and lightly licked her tears away; she chuckled and pulled him into a hug. "Of course I'll do it," she mumbled into his soft, black fur, "Of course."

It was only after her weight increased upon the older wolf's body, did he realize she had fallen asleep. He gently moved and let her slide fully onto his back, and with a tilt of his head, he and the rest of the pack left the meadow.

 _Lexa's POV_

She knew Clarke would not heed her advice and would return to the meadow. Lexa was worried that she would be caught and killed, and this thought constantly nagged her, although she tried desperately to push it away. ' _Use your head, Lexa, you cannot run a coalition while your heart runs amok with a girl who obviously dislikes you'_ , she thought. In fact, this self-message had become a mental chant within Lexa's head every time the pair of sky-blue eyes popped up in her mind's eye.

It had been a month before Lexa finally caved enough to let herself return to the meadow. It was a day's ride away from Ton DC, and Lexa left early in the morning, before the first of the sun's rays peaked the tops of the trees. Her horse was steaming by the time she reached the meadow; its heat connecting with the cool air and leaving its body in lazy spirals. She hopped down from her horse and led it to a small stream that ran just outside the perimeter of the meadow. She knew that it would stay there, for it had been trained especially for her as a gift on her ascension day by some of the best horse trainers among the Trikru.

She slipped through the ring of trees quietly as she approached the meadow, her eyes scanning for a glimpse of the blonde. When she didn't see anything, she entered the meadow, confident, and yet strangely sad that she was alone. It was just as beautiful as the remembered it, but as she moved farther into the clearing her heart stopped and her face grew ashen; The ground was covered in blood.

Lexa dropped to her knees, and anguished cry falling from her lips. Why hadn't she fought harder to make Clarke stay away from the meadow, she berated herself. Now she was gone and it was all Lexa's fault. Her mind filled with images of Costia, and she forced them away, only to have them replaced with images of Clarke, her blood spilling on the ground by the hand's of her own people.

It took several minutes before Lexa noticed other things lying in the grass away from where most of the blood was. She moved over to them, her curiosity getting the better of her, and what she saw took her breath away… again. It was an image of the meadow, sketched by Clarke's careful hand, and she smiled when she saw herself hiding within the black trees on the paper. So the blonde had remembered her. This pleased Lexa, and a small, yet smug smile pulled at her lips.

After a moment more of studying Clarke's drawing, Lexa moved on to see what else the blonde had brought with her. She found three orange sheets made of some sort of very soft wool, more painting supplies, and a shotgun. Right after her fingers had curled around the handle, she dropped it disgustedly on the ground. " _Maunon,"_ she hissed under her breath. She could not help but feel slightly hurt by Clarke's decision to carry a gun. She could not have known of the Mountain men and their dastard ways, but still, the reminder that Clarke's people might not be so different from them, scared her greatly.

She noticed, after she had dropped the gun, that it had landed in the middle of a large wolf print. So, maybe it had been the wolves that had done this to her. It would not be the first time they had tricked their pray into a false sense of safety before a kill. Many a horse had been lured away from its waiting post by a young pup looking lost and bewildered and mewling pitifully, while its elders waited hidden, downwind behind trees.

A fierce anger entered her and burned throughout her blood, and she saw red. She had one mission, and that was to find the wolves and kill them for taking Clarke away from her. She had not felt such emotions fill her since Costia's death, but those emotions had been petty compared to this. She would find this wulfkru and she would slaughter them all.

She called to her guards, whom had remained far away from the meadow upon her request. They entered quickly, bringing her horse with them. "We camp here, tomorrow, we track the wulfkru." She watched as they set up her tent, and then quickly set up their own, smaller tents. Her traveling furs were laid out for her, and she slipped into them fully dressed and quickly fell asleep. Her dreams were haunted with fleeting images of Costia, Clarke, and blood, always the blood. She could not escape it, it followed her everywhere, no matter how hard or far she ran. She woke in a cold sweat and went outside. She felt a drop fall from the sky and land on her cheek, more and more drops began to fall, and she reached up to wipe them away from her face. When her hand came away red with blood, she screamed.

She shot up from, quickly reaching up to feel her face, it was clammy but there was no blood. She felt her heart begin to slow and her breathing normally. Nightmares were not uncommon to her, but this had been one of the worst she had experienced. She wondered if she was experiencing something through Clarke, she had heard of such connections before in some of the old texts she had read as a girl. She thought of Clarke surrounded and drowning in never-ending blood, and her own began to boil. It was with this renewed sense of purpose that she strode out of her tent, with her weapons in tact, and ordered that they move out on the trail of the wulfkru.

 _Clarke's POV_

She woke amidst the wild scent of wolf, the soft feel of fur, and the heat of many bodies surrounding her. She looked around and saw that she was in some sort of cave with dry dirt walls, which she realized must be the packs' home. There was a tunnel leading out of the main area and she guessed it lead back outside, yet there were several different tunnels leading from the main area of the cave, so she couldn't be quite sure. She felt at peace, so she didn't want to move, savoring this rare moment. But she couldn't escape her life forever, and she knew that she would have to return to camp soon and face everyone. Bellamy and Finn might take to following her if she spent too much time away. She sighed at this and nuzzled back into a sleeping position, _Hainofa's_ warm breath tickled her face, and soon she fell back asleep.

Clarke woke again to laughing eyes and dark brown snout in her face; _Hainofa_ grinned at her, his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Today was her initiation day, the day of her first singular hunt. She would track the animal, kill it, coat herself in its blood, and then the pack would share the meal. She had a form of communication with the wolves that was difficult for her to fully understand, except that they seemed to understand what she had to say, and she could hear snippets of their voices in her head, along with understanding their body language. It did not take her long to understand what her job was today, and although her body quivered with nerves, she was ready.

Once the rest of the elders of the wolf pack had woken, they exited the tent through one of the tunnels, the same Clarke had presumed from earlier. She stayed close to _Hainofa's_ side, running her fingers through his dark brown coat. They traveled for several hours before stopping, and Clarke realized that they had caught a scent. _Haiefa_ nodded his head at her before sitting back on his haunches, clearly indicating that her solo-hunt had begun. She nodded, removed her fingers from Hainofa's fur, with a whiny breath from him, and began to follow the tracks of a large animal through the forest.

The tracks showed deep impressions of a hoofed foot, suggesting some sort of deer, and a big one by that means. She crept through the forest, moving silently through the underbrush until she reached a small stream that trickled through one of the deeper parts of the forest. There she saw the animal in question, a large stag, pausing to drink from the stream. He was a handsome creature, there was no denying that, and she felt almost guilty at killing something so proud and regal.

She moved closer, until she was only five feet away from the creature, and then she pounced. The last thing she saw was the fear and then acceptance in the animal's eyes as its life force poured out of an incision in its neck. She felt a wave of pride and joy spring within her, so strong that it was almost primal. Without conscious thought, she tilted back out her head and howled. It was sharp and warbled, but became stronger as she continued. She felt something snap within her as the wolf-song past through her lips. Her body was burning, her bones snapping, and her blood racing through her, thrumming a duet to the wolf-song within her body. The pain was immense, but finally it stopped. Her throat felt parched and she inched forward on her stomach towards the stream, but when her face rose above the water, what looked back at her was a pure white wolf with her own blue eyes.

She stared for what seemed like hours at her own changed reflection, her mind scrambling for answers and trying to assign logic to the situation. She was broken out of her reverie by a cold nose nuzzling into her ear, _'congratulations,'_ she heard in her mind. She whipped her head around to see _Hainofa_ behind her, followed by his father and the rest of the elders.

 _Haiefa's_ voice soon joined his son's within her head, _'I thought you might be the One, and now you have proven me correct. There have been stories of your arrival, stories of a leader blessed by the Great Spirit, and now you have come. It is an honor to have you as part of our pack wulfheda.'_ Clarke stared at him in surprise, but quickly schooled her face. She bowed her head at him and reached tentatively to him with her mind, _'I am honored to be a part of your pack, Haiefa.'_

She then turned back to the stag that lay fallen on the ground; she felt a predatory hunger rise up within her and with quick motion of her paw, the slit the stag from throat to groin. Fresh blood flowed out and she lowered herself into it, feeling its sticky warmth seep into her fur. The sun had yet to rise, but she could sense that dawn would soon be upon them, and that the pups would need to be fed. She quickly finished covering herself in the stag's blood and she stepped aside for each of the elders, _Haiefa_ , and _Hainofa_ to stick their muzzle into the stag's body to accept her kill. Pride swelled within her chest as she looked at her pack.

When all of the wolves had finished, she grabbed the deer by her throat and slung it over her back; it would make an excellent celebratory meal for all of them, and seeing as she had no idea how to change back into a human, it seemed that she would be joining in their festivities.

They reached the entrance to the tunnel once the sun had reached the middle of the sky and with a sharp bark from _Haiefa_ , the rest of the pack, which included many of the mothers and their youngsters, joined them. It was with glee that they too stuck their muzzles into her kill, and then licked at her face in gestures of acceptance and familial love. The moment was broken when a stick snapped and the smell of human permeated her nose.

 _Lexa's POV_

Lexa followed the trail for hours, due to the depth of the prints into the ground; Lexa knew that these animals must be very big. She heard grunting and the snapping of twigs to her left and she quickly made hand motions to her guards to tell them to stay down and be quiet. A pack of wolves moved past her carrying what seemed to be the mutilated body of a stag. She smelt the acrid scent of blood; the wolves were covered in it. She waited until they had passed and then she motioned to her guards again. They were going to follow the wolves back to their den and slaughter them all. _Jus drein jus daun,_ she thought. They had taken Clarke, and she would take them all.

Several minutes later, she found the wolves reveling close to the entrance to a tunnel. The younger wolves were sticking their noses into the stag's carcass, while the rest of the wolves grouped happily around one wolf in the middle. The wolf shone red in the sunlight, but it was not until more of the wolves moved away did she see that the red came from blood. It gleamed on the wolf's coat, but underneath she could its fur was white. She moved closer, drawing her bow in front of her and knocking an arrow. Right as she was about to release, the head of the white wolf snapped up and she once again found her eyes locked into a pair of sky-blue ones.

Around the wolf's neck was a silver necklace glinting brightly in the autumn sunlight, but her attention was quickly drawn upwards to the snarling mouth of the wolf. ' _Put down your weapon_ ,' she heard in her head. She was too shocked to move, but her guards apparently did not hear the same message. One of them shot at one of the younger wolf cubs, but the white wolf had anticipated retaliation and had jumped in time to block the arrow. The arrow bounced harmlessly off the wolf, and it once again turned towards Lexa and her guards. Lexa did not need another mental message to understand the wolf this time. The wolf was mad with rage, stalking towards her guards. Before Lexa could act, the wolf had torn out both of their throats. Hot blood spewed onto Lexa and the wolf, and she was once again reminded of her nightmare.

Lexa watched the wolf with something akin to horror on her face, but her attention was quickly diverted to the black designs on the back of the wolf. She gasped in shock. It was the same as Clarke's.


	7. Chapter 7

_Lexa's POV_

The white wolf stalked towards her, never letting its blue eyes leave Lexa's green ones, its steps muffled by the thick layer of pine needles on the ground. It stopped right in front of her, and before Lexa consciously knew what she was doing, she had reached out and hand to touch the magnificent, bloody beast in front of her. Her hand collided with soft fur, its fine texture matted slightly by the sticky blood covering it. She felt the wolf shudder, and her tattoo prickled; feeling like liquid fire was running through her veins, Lexa jerked her hand away, staring mutely at the blood covering it. The wolf continued to shudder and it dropped onto the ground, rolling around letting small whimpers fall from its mouth.

Lexa watched with a strange fascination, but was broken out of her reverie by a keening yowl that sent shivers up her spine. It was broken wolf-song, filled with pain, and Lexa felt her heart crack slightly. She could no longer stand to watch the wolf in so much pain, so she turned her head away. Seconds later, the wolf-song stopped and shallow panting replaced it. Lexa shifted slightly as to see what had happened and was shocked when a girl replaced what had once been a wolf. The girl was covered in blood, her blonde hair and pale skin rusted red in the afternoon sun. Clarke.

Clarke moaned; she obviously was still in pain even in her lack of consciousness, yet Lexa remained frozen in place, her eyes fixated on Clarke's naked body and the inked, black designs that traced the delicate curves of her back, arms and neck. _'Oh great spirits, what have you done to this girl?'_ she questioned inside of her head. It was obvious the girl's powers were starting to show; the Spirit within her growing stronger as each day passed. And Lexa knew that if they remained unbound, it would eventually overpower her.

Lexa felt a surge of protectiveness within her and she knelt to scoop up Clarke, trying desperately to ignore the tingles each touch sent up through her, or the warmth pooling in her core. The surrounding wolves looked at her suspiciously, a few of them snarling her, exposing their three inch long canines. She heard a voice within her head, _'Take care of her, human, she will need more help than either you or her knows.'_ She looked around for the speaker and found a very large, black wolf staring directly at her with a knowing look in its eyes. She nodded once before retreating out of wolves' clearing holding Clarke carefully to her chest. She left the bodies of her guards there; she would have someone return for them later.

 _Clarke's POV_

She felt as light as a feather, swaying back and forth in a gentle motion, her head supported by a warm and solid object, her body warm and weightless. She sighed in happiness and nestled closer into whatever was holding her up, trying to escape the coming wakefulness that she felt rising up within her. Finally, she could sleep no longer and she opened her eyes. The warm thing she had been sleeping on was in fact a person, her tanned skin stretched tightly across ropy muscles, her eyes fluttering underneath closed eyelids decorated with long black lashes. The girl looked familiar to Clarke, she felt familiar as well, and Clarke struggled to remember where she had met the girl before.

' _The meadow! Of course, it's her, but she looks so different here, so at peace, like a real girl.'_ She smiled at the thought, sure that if the girl lying beside her had heard her, she would have been the recipient of several fierce glares. She cautiously moved one of her hands up to the girls face, letting her fingers trace along the strong jawline and sharp cheekbones, although she resisted tracing the girl's plump lips. After she had memorized the feeling of the girl's face she moved to weave her fingers through the girls thick, brown hair. She realized it was done up in more braids then she could count, so she settled for simply petting the top of her head. The girl's brow creased and the murmured something fitfully in her sleep. Clarke shushed her quietly and whispered sweet nothings into the morning air, hoping to calm the girl down.

"Hush now, you're safe, I've got you." Clarke looked around, wondering where they were for the first time that morning. It seemed to be some sort of tent made out of thick linen. Within it was a table with some indiscernible object on top of it, although it looked like there was a good deal of parchments and papers spread over its oaken length. The rest of the room was very sparse, save for the pile of weapons in the corner, and the bed that they were currently occupying.

Clarke's curiosity was growing, and soon she could no longer constrain herself to sitting and petting the girl's hair. She moved away from the girl, letting her fall gently back into the soft furs on the bed, before swinging her feet over the edge of the bed and standing up. It was chilly and Clarke threw one of the furs on the bed over her shoulders before she moved closer to the table. She was wearing a light cotton shirt, with tight fitting shorts, that she assumed must be the equivalent to underwear on the ground, and she briefly wondered where her own clothes had gone, and with mild embarrassment, realized that the girl must have cleaned her and dressed her.

Pushing that thought away, the reached the table, her fingers instantly going up to her mouth, but pausing to linger on the silver necklace that hung upon her neck, brushing against the dip in-between her collarbones. There was a small silver pendent, shaped like a feather with the word courage etched into it in delicate cursive. She thought it fitting and remembered seeing wrapped around the gun from the bunker. Maybe the girl had grabbed her belongings from the meadow, ' _it would be nice to have a weapon,'_ Clarke thought, ' _well more like necessary.'_

She turned her attention back to the table, and noticed her drawing of the meadow lying on top. It was splotched with darkened patches of blood and the occasional paw print, but the beauty of the meadow was still preserved. So the girl had picked up her things from the meadow. It took her only a few minutes more of searching to find the blankets and gun, which had been wrapped up within the blankets. She turned around to look at the girl, whom was still sleeping on the bed.

Clarke thought it would probably be okay to exit the tent, just to ascertain her location, so she poked her head out of the flap, and quickly the rest of her body followed. She recognized the familiar ring of fir trees that surrounded the meadow and realized that she was only a couple of minutes from it. She ducked back inside the tent to grab her drawing supplies, before setting of in the direction of meadow.

The sun had not yet broken the over the tops of the trees, so the meadow was shrouded in hazy shadows. A light frost coated the leaves on the ground, and her bare feet felt numb against the cold, and she could feel her nose and ears reddening from the morning chill. She settled herself on the ground, closed her eyes, and began to draw. She saw the girl's face in her mind's eye, and she could feel her pencil delicately forming the girl's perfect features on the planes of the paper in front of her. She felt the cold inside of her, but it was a distant sensation, her mind diverting all of its energy into the masterpiece in front of her. But slowly, her brain grew foggy and she felt herself sinking into the iciness that consumed her. _'So tired,'_ she thought, _'Just a small rest before I go back to the tent.'_

 _Lexa's POV_

She had never felt so at peace as she did that morning, lying within Clarke's arms, her head nuzzled into her chest. Clarke's presence allowed her to sleep deeply, without the usual nightmares that plagued her, and when one threatened to appear, she heard Clarke forcing it away from her, allowing her to plunge back into the calming darkness of a dreamless sleep once more.

When she woke, she felt empty again. Clarke was gone; her space in Lexa's bed rumpled and cold from lack of use. Lexa's heart panged against her chest, and as she looked around the room, she saw signs of Clarke's searching from that morning. The blankets and drawing were spread across the table, and the only thing missing was the gun, and well, Clarke.

Her initial sense of peacefulness upon waking was shattered by worry. _'What if Clarke had wandered away and been caught? What if a wild animal had eaten her?_ Lexa's mind was going haywire and it took her several minutes to regain her composure and think logically. She knew she was near the meadow, and if, as she had suspected, Clarke had gone to visit the meadow several times during the past month, she would know that as well.

It was safe to assume that Clarke had wandered off to the meadow, and judging from the lack of art supplies within her tent, Clarke had taken those as well. She quickly picked up Clarke's trail, which was harder than usual because it appeared that Clarke had traveled barefoot. Soon she came up upon the meadow and her heart caught in her chest. There Clarke lay in the meadow, her blonde hair splayed around her head like a golden crown, and her white skin gleaming slightly in the morning's light sunrays.

White, abnormally pale skin, and as Lexa drew closer, blue lips. _'Jok,'_ she thought to herself, ' _She's gone off and frozen herself.'_ She reached down to feel Clarke's skin, pressing the back of her hand against Clarke's arm. It was deathly cold. The fur that Clarke had brought had slipped from her shoulders leaving her exposed in nothing but some of Lexa's old sleep clothes. She wrapped the girl in the fur before picking her up and carrying her out of the meadow, making sure to grab the girl's sketchpad and art utensils before leaving.

When they reached Lexa's tent once more she stripped Clarke down to her chest fastening and underwear, before stripping her furs and outer clothing layers off as well, until she was wearing the same thing as Clarke. She carried the two of them to the bed, piled more furs on top, and then crawled in underneath, hugging Clarke tightly to her side. She had learned years ago from her mentor, Anya that this was the best way to warm someone who was suffering from prolonged exposure to the cold.

Slowly, she could feel the warmth returning to Clarke's small body, and the girl nestled closer into Lexa, who in turn wrapped her arms around her. They lay like that for hours, with Lexa dropping in and out of sleep. It had been years since the last time she had felt this free, and she knew that it had cost her the lives of two guards, but selfishly, she could not bring herself to regret what had happened.

Holding Clarke felt like spinning into oblivion. Felt like the rocks that weighed heavily upon her chest were being flung off, leaving her carefree and happy. If this was what it was like to feel bonded to Clarke, she would never let the girl go.

She knew that she would soon need to return to Polis. Her people knew of the _Skaikru_ , but she had yet to tell them that the stories were truer then they could ever have hoped. Here in her arms lay the most powerful and anticipated person who had set foot on the ground, chosen directly by the Spirit, and Lexa knew that she could not hide her away for herself. Her people needed to see Clarke, and feel the peace that would come with their bonding.

She sighed to herself, the bonding…now that would be an interesting event. She had heard accounts from the elders on the ceremony, but she had always believed them to be stories, devoid of truth. But then again, she reckoned, every story has a grain of truth to it. She was pulled from her thoughts by a hoarse voice, "What's got you making a face like that, sourpuss?"

The blonde's audacity shocked her slightly, but she felt more relieved that the girl had awoken. "I was thinking; that is all."

Clarke looked down at her through partially closed eyelids, with a small smirk adorning her mouth, "Well that's obvious, isn't that what brains are for?"

Lexa sighed at this and pinched the bridge of her nose in moderately false annoyance. "Sarcasm is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke." She watched the blonde stiffen beside her, pulling away.

"How do you know my name?" Clarke questioned. Lexa's eyes widened and a slight blush burned quickly upon her cheeks.

"My people have been watching your people since you have arrived on the ground," she admitted. Clarke gaped at her and her features quickly formed into those of rage.

"You sat there watching while my people suffered and you did nothing to help? What kind of person are you?" She spat at Lexa, pulling away from her grasp. "We've faced mutiny, killings, starvation, dehydration, and attacks from both animals and grounders, and you didn't even bother to lift a finger to stop it."

"It was the logical choice Clarke. I did not know your people, did not know if it would be safe for my people to show themselves."

Clarke paused at this response, her eyes still filled with pain, and she whispered through gritted teeth, "He died because nobody helped."

It was Lexa's turn to stiffen at this. "You care for him, this boy you speak of," she spat back at Clarke. Her mind was full of jealousy and she felt anger rise up within her. Her spirit growled and paced, knowing that Clarke was not hers and feeling angry at whatever was keeping her from being hers.

"What do you care," the blonde shot back. "He was my best friend, and he died because people were angry that there wasn't enough food and they blamed it on his father, who had sent us down in the first place." Her eyes filled with tears. "If I hadn't pushed him away, he wouldn't have left camp and been killed by the mutineers." "It's all my fault," she sobbed, "I'm covered in his blood."

Lexa was bewildered by this wanton show of emotion, but she pulled the blonde back against her and stroked her head while she cried. A few tears and sniffles later, Clarke pulled away from Lexa and sat up, her eyes red-rimmed and puffy.

"I can see why your leader made the choice they did, but it doesn't mean that I have to like it." Lexa nodded her head at this, somewhat unsure of what to say, but the blonde continued before Lexa had a chance to speak, "Thank you for what you've done, but I really need to return to my people."

"Then I will escort you." Clarke looked at her with a pouty look, but at seeing the unwavering hardness in Lexa's eyes, she acquiesced.

An hour later they were both dressed for the outside in warm woolen linens and fur coats. Lexa's tent was packed, and they were riding away on Lexa's horse. Clarke had been scared initially of the large and foreign creature, but was soon in love with its gentle nature, which was only seen after she fed it one of the fruits she had picked.

 _Clarke's POV_

It was a much shorter ride than walk back to the camp of the _Skaikru_ , but when they returned, a gruesome sight awaited them. Blood was soaking into the ground surrounding the drop ship coming from maybe fifty or so of her people, people in black rubber suits were loading the rest of them onto huge mechanical monstrosities. Clarke wanted to scream, to jump off of the horse and save her people, but viselike arms had encircled her, keeping her motionless, and a hand covered her mouth to prevent any noise from slipping out.

Clarke watched with horror, as the horse turned around and began to make its way in the opposite direction. _'What was the girl doing!?'_ Clarke thought. _'Can she not see my people being abducted or lying split open on the cold ground? Why are we leaving?'_ She grunted against the girl's hand in resentment, but it wasn't until they had reached the meadow again that the hand and viselike grip were removed. She turned around to glare at the brunette behind her, her mouth already poised to let loose hundreds of hurtful words and accusations, but when she saw the girl's face, something broke inside of her. The brunette's face was ashen, her lips pressed into a firm line, but what killed Clarke was the look in her eyes. She could see fleeing memories of terror, pain, and loss.

The girl's lips parted slightly and Clarke braced herself for what was about to be said. " _Maunon,"_ the girl breathed.


	8. Chapter 8

_Lexa's POV_

The sight of Clarke's people being taken by the mountain men stirred up old memories within her. She felt the pain of all the families who had lost fathers, mothers, and children to them; the terror and confusion that emanated from Clarke, but most of all she thought of Anya, who had been taken during patrol and had not been seen again.

Lexa clenched her arms around Clarke and rode as hard as she could back to the meadow, back where it was safe, away from the mountain men and under the protection of the Spirit. Even her worrying could not save her from the heat and tingles that her body felt pressed up flush against Clarke on a moving horse. _'This is not the time, Lexa, not the time!'_ She chanted this to herself over and over again, focusing straight ahead, looking anywhere except the mane of golden hair in front of her.

When they reached the meadow, she released her arms from around Clarke and took her hand away from the girl's mouth. The blonde whirled around to look at Lexa, words forming on her lips, but suddenly she faltered and a look of questioning concern filled her face. Lexa knew that she must look a sight, and she tried to pull herself together, putting on her stoic mask, but she could not shield the emotions that flooded through her eyes. She knew that Clarke was searching for answers, but the best she could do as an explanation was: " _Maunon."_

She could see Clarke looking at her in bewilderment and she tried her best to form words in her semi-coherent mind. "The men are from the mountain. They are murders, stealing my people and killing them for their own wicked purposes. Trust me, _Skai Prisa_ , you will not see your compatriots again." The words were hurtful, but Lexa knew they were true and Clarke needed to accept it.

Clarke glared at her. "What kind of person are you: incapable of even of moment of grief or compassion? Those are my people. They cannot be gone. I will get them back with or without you." And with that she attempted to dismount from Lexa's horse. Lexa grabbed her arm and pulled her back against her.

"I am what I am, Clarke," she said, watching as Clarke's face twisted in disgust. That look alone buried a knife in Lexa's gut and she felt as if her body was dying, but she persevered on. "The dead are gone and the living are hungry. You must let them go."

"Never. I am their leader. They trust me, I need to get them back!" Desperation had entered her voice by this point and her voice was nearly hysterical. She was struggling against Lexa, but the iron strength of Lexa's muscles held her firmly in place. Eventually she quieted, but Lexa could hear the barely concealed sobs that escaped her clenched lips and shuddered through her shoulders.

"What your people need is for their leader to remain strong. You cannot attempt to save them by getting yourself killed, a leader needs to use their head over their heart. Come with me back to my city and you can hold audience with the Commander, she will decide whether my people will help yours."

Clarke twisted in Lexa's now loosened arms, her eyes filled with hope again, "Your commander, she'll help me?" Lexa looked into her eyes and thought about what to say. Her heart wanted nothing more than to kill every mountain man to find Clarke's people, but that is not what her people needed, she had priority to them first.

"The Commander will decide. If you can offer her enough reason to help, then you will have ample chance at receiving help." It was the best that Lexa could offer to her, and the girl seemed to recognize this, bowing her head to Lexa before turning around in the saddle.

"Well I guess we should be along then? The sooner we get there, the happier I'll be." Her voice was empty and calculating, a tone that Lexa was very familiar with.

"As you wish, Princess."

 _Clarke's POV_

The girl had called her 'Princess,' and that drew Clarke's thoughts back to her people and she fell back into a brooding silence. Eventually she felt herself drifting off, and she tried desperately to keep her eyes open and her body from slumping back into the warm presence of the girl behind her. "You know, I don't even know your name," Clarke muttered into the night air, her brain almost completely asleep.

There was a long pause, "My name is Lexa," and that was the last thing that entered Clarke's mind before she slipped into unconsciousness.

She found herself back in the cave, lying amidst the bed of furs once again. "Spirit, what do you want from me?" She called out more bravely than she felt.

"Child, I am simply here because you called to me. Tell me your problems, what is wrong?" The voice answered her. It felt strong and comforting to Clarke and she found her mouth opening and words pouring out.

"It's my people, Spirit, they were taken away by the Mountain men. I need to get them back but Lexa would not help me, and insists on dragging me away to see her Commander. My people could be dead by the time they agree to help me, if they even do that." She had started yelling at this point, getting out of bed and pacing back and forth across the cave.

"I know she's my _Seelehalb_ , but I can't stand her. All she offers me is 'no.' Her voice is cold and she doesn't seem to care or feel anything."

"Clarke, stop this foolishness. There is always more to a person than can be seen on the outside. I expect more from you, do not doubt my decisions again, you need to look closer instead of seeing what she chooses to display to you." The voice admonished her, and Clarke hung her head.

She had seen the pain and terror in Lexa's eyes when they had reached the meadow, how could she have not processed that. _'Because you were so worried about your people you didn't stop to think about what or who she had lost. Clarke, you idiot,'_ she thought to herself. Lexa had mentioned that the Maunon had torn many families apart, and she guessed from Lexa's reaction that hers might have been one of those. _'No wonder the poor thing was so emotionless, she probably couldn't bear to talk about it, but I wouldn't let it go.'_

The voice interrupted her internal self-admonition; "You understand now, Clarke? Trust in the Spirit, Clarke, it will not lead you wrong. You must have faith."

Clarke woke in a small tent, nowhere as nice or large as the tent that they had been in earlier, but she guessed this was easier to set up for traveling purposes. She was wrapped in a pile of furs on the ground, still dressed in her day clothes, weapons and all. She hung her head in shame; Lexa probably couldn't even bear to touch her after all that Clarke had said to her.

Speaking of which, where was Lexa? Clarke's eyes flitted around the tent, and catching no glimpse of the attractive brunette, Clarke rose from her makeshift bed. She needed to find Lexa and offer her what consolation she could. She stepped out of the tent, shivering slightly in the cold. It didn't take her long to spot Lexa, who was sitting on her knees bracing herself on the balls of her feet. She was stripped of her weapons and outerwear, although her hair was still braided intricately down her back. Clarke's breath caught in her chest, Lexa was beautiful.

Lexa's breaths were deep and even, Clarke had read about something like this while on the ark, something called meditation. She knew that Lexa was probably so deep in thought that she would not notice Clarke approaching; nevertheless Clarke took special care in her walking not to make a sound while nearing on the brunette. Soon she was standing directly behind Lexa, building up the courage to wake her from her trance.

"You should be sleeping _Klark kom Skaikru_." To say that Clarke was startled would be an understatement, but she held herself together, trying to put on a strong front in front of Lexa.

"How did you know I was behind you? I thought you were meditating," Clarke questions.

"You have heard of meditation? It is part of our way of life, but I have never mastered it, making it easier for me to hear you," Lexa answered peacefully.

Clarke could think of nothing to say this, and the tension between them seemed to grow. "You should come inside, it's very cold outside."

"I will join you shortly, Clarke." Clarke recognized this as Lexa's dismissal of her, and she reluctantly trudged back to the warmth of the tent. She took the time to remove her gun from its holster, and strip off her jacket and boots, before crawling underneath the pile of furs. She tried to sleep by closing her eyes and trying to relax her mind, but her body would have none of that; it appeared that she would not be receiving any more sleep that night.

It was several more minutes before Lexa entered the tent and crawled into the bed of furs. Clarke pretended to be sleeping, not feeling able to face the brunette in the soft darkness of the tent. "It was my mentor, Anya. She went missing on patrol and I never saw her again," she heard Lexa whisper. Clarke did not know what to say, or how to respond to such an admission. All she felt was an overwhelming need to comfort the girl, so she rolled over and wrapped her arms around the other girl, who stiffened but eventually relaxed into Clarke's embrace.

 _Lexa's POV_

She heard Clarke exit the tent and move towards her. She knew this was the byproduct of not being focused on her meditation, but she could not bring herself to be sorry of this fact. The noise stopped and Lexa knew that Clarke was directly behind her. "You should be sleeping, _Klark kom Skaikru_ ," Lexa sighed out into the darkness, her eyes still closed.

She heard the blonde sputter before replying calmly. They talked for several moments longer before Lexa casually dismissed her, ordering her to bed. She had felt the tension between them and knew that Clarke had wanted to say something more, but she did not want to hear it, to be reminded of the pain and sorrow that had plagued her earlier that day. As the last remnants of her meditated state slipped away, she could feel the cold permeating into her body, leaving goose bumps rising up the exposed flesh of her arms and neck. She knew that she should go back to the tent or she would risk entering the state that she had found Clarke in that morning.

With a light sigh she rose to her feet, her frozen muscles protesting, but she paid them no mind. She entered the tent and saw Clarke wrapped up in furs with only the rosiness of her face open to the air. She smiled at this sight and moved to enter the bed. She did not want to disturb the blonde, so she lay hesitantly on the edge of the furs. She tried to close her eyes and enter the realm of sleep, but there was something preventing her from doing so. "It was my mentor, Anya. She went missing on patrol and I never saw her again," she whispered into the darkness of the tent. She felt a weight leave her chest as she said this, and saw Clarke stiffen as soon as the words were released from her mouth.

Clarke offered no words in response, and just as Lexa was resignedly turning around to face the opposite wall of the tent away, moving herself as far away as she could from the warm body of the girl beside her, Clarke slipped her arm around her stomach dragging herself towards her. The blonde then proceeded to latch onto her with an iron grip, snuggling her face into the crook of Lexa's neck. Her warm breath spread across the expanse of Lexa's skin, and Lexa felt her heart melt slightly, and let herself relax into Clarke's embrace. And finally, sleep came for the both of them.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi again! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I really appreciate your support.**

 **To Life-is-rolling-keep-on-going: Yes, Lexa is the commander but I want there to be a moment of surprise for Clarke when she find out. Also, the secrecy on Lexa's part allows her to simply be Lexa, which she never really gets to do.**

 **NB: I won't be posting as regularly as I have been simply because school is kicking up again, but I will try to post a chapter or two every week**

 _Lexa's POV_

When she awoke the sun was streaming in through the linen of the tent, bathing the small room in a warm glow. She looked down at the still slumbering blonde beside her and wondered how just that sight alone could make her feel like a lovesick fool, she barely knew the girl after all. She watched Clarke shift in her sleep, mumbling quietly every few minutes or so. Lexa ached to run her fingers through the thick golden mane that lay splayed across the pillow, but she resisted, not knowing how the other girl would react. She would content herself with simply gazing at the sight in front of her, trying to take in as many details as she could before Clarke woke.

She noticed the slight furrow that etched itself into Clarke's brow when she mumbled, and the soft, pink lips that opened ever so slightly with every inhale. But soon the gasps were coming much to fast, and the mumbling grew louder. The blonde was turning in her sleep, and when she did, Lexa could see the sweat that clung to the back of her neck. She got louder and louder, "No, not him, not him! Take me, take me, I'll do anything! Please! Please!"

Lexa's heart froze at those words and for a minute she sat there completely paralyzed, her brain effectively having shut itself off. _'She loved someone else, and she's obviously not over him if this is anything to go off of,'_ Lexa thought to herself with a sick feeling in her stomach. Eventually she managed to move and pull Clarke into a stiff embrace, rubbing circles on her back. "It's okay, Clarke, it is just a dream, nothing more." When the blonde failed to respond to this and continued her panicked thrashing, Lexa moved on top of her, straddling her hips and effectively pinning Clarke to the bed. "Clarke! Clarke!" She shouted loudly, hoping to draw the girl from her dreams.

Finally the girl responded and her eyes flew open. They were wild, and soon tears began spilling out of them. "It's all my fault, all my fault," she blabbered uncontrollably, before her words became unintelligible from the wracking sobs making their way through her body. Lexa moved off of her, trying to ignore the warmth that had crept up her core while straddling Clarke's thrashing body. She settled for simply holding the blonde as she cried into Lexa's shoulder

 _Clarke's POV_

Dream:

She was back on the ark; it looked just like she remembered it. The walls were cold grey in color, just plain metallic without any splashes of much-needed color. The harsh lights burned into her eyes, and she found herself walking the abandoned corridors. She knew the path, and she felt a heaviness settle inside of her as her feet trudged onward, without stopping. It was the path to the floating docs. She heard voices up ahead, a woman and a several men, one of which was her daddy's. "You need to tell them, Jaha, they deserve to know that the ark is dying. You can kill me, but they need to know, and when they find out, it will be so much worse than if you had just told them now, trust me on this." His words were answered with the sound of a blow, and a hard gasp coming in through her daddy's lungs.

She ran towards the noise, her feet pattering loudly on the ground. When she entered the small dock, she saw her mother, Jaha, her father, and several guards. Immediately, a guard came up and grabbed her from behind and she fought to get towards her father. "Daddy, daddy, don't leave me!" She yelled as the remaining guards forcefully dragged him into the floating room and deposited him there, still breathing heavily from the blow.

The doors closed and she fought harder. ""No, not him, not him! Take me, take me, I'll do anything! Please! Please!" She was nearing hysteria, and her voice was high and cracking, sobs rattling through her small body. Her voice was cut off in mute horror when a long, dark brown finger pressed down on the button outside of the floating device.

Second later her father was gone, the only sound left was a shallow scream echoing from the chamber. "NOOOOOOO!" She yelled, kicking at the guard and running up to the glass walls of the chamber and banging her fists against it.

She didn't see Jaha motion to guards behind her, but she felt herself being dragged away, and she fought her hardest to free herself from them. "I'll tell everyone. You won't get away with killing my daddy, you mark my words." And he did, he sent her to solitary without a single word of protest from her mother.

She saw the chamber she had been walking down mere minutes go past her. She was struggling hard against the arms holding her and dragging her towards the prison, but she could not escape. She felt more arms and weight on her, and she fought harder and harder. "Clarke, Clarke!" she heard in the back of her mind before she felt a sharp pain on her head and the world went black.

Out of dream:

She opened her eyes, wild with fear and anger, and they met forest green ones looking anxiously down at her from above. As the panic left her system, the sadness of the memory took its place, and she started crying uncontrollably, the only thing she could get out was, "It's all my fault, all my fault."

She felt herself being pulled into strong arms and rocked back and forth, while a hand reached tentatively into her hair and threaded its fingers through her tangled locks. She could hear Lexa making soft cooing noises to her and slowly the tears trailing down her face stopped coming all together, and all that could be heard in the small tent was Clarke's raspy breaths, and a wavering melody that Clarke recognized but could not quite place where she knew it from. She let herself fall back into darkness, but not before she shot out, "I miss him, Lex, I miss him so much."

What she didn't notice as she slid into the heavy blackness was Lexa's body stiffening and her hands stopping their journey through Clarke's hair.

Clarke stayed in the blackness, letting her body breathe and recover after what had happened that morning, and when she finally woke for the second time that day, it was dark within the tent. She could see a light flickering outside and she assumed it was a fire of some sort. A smell permeated through the tent walls, filling her nose with delicious scents and making her mouth water in anticipation.

Before she knew it, her body had crawled out of bed and was padding softly out of the tent doors and into the speckled darkness of the night. She followed her nose and it lead her to a small hearth some twenty paces away from the tent walls. Spitted on top of the fire were two rabbits, seasoned with what smelled like rosemary. Seated across from the fire was Lexa, her head was in her hands, and the dips and crevices of her body were accentuated from the flickering flames and shadows of the fire. Her head lifted as Clarke approached the fireside. "It smells good," she offered.

The brunette looked at her incredulously before schooling her face and replying emotionlessly, "It is what it is," and turning to stare into the dancing orange flames. Clarke paused at this, _'What have I done?'_ she thought to herself. _'She definitely wasn't treating me this way before, but yet again she seems to change moods very abruptly. I wonder if was anything I said?'_

"I'm sorry, did I offend you in any way?" Clarke asked Lexa, who gave no response except a small snort. "Sometimes I get nightmares and there's nothing I can do about it," she whispered, but still loud enough to be heard. "If you can't deal with that, then I suggest you give me somewhere else to sleep," Clarke continued, her mood becoming increasingly more melancholy, the heavy weight returning to her chest, and pangs of loneliness threatening to burst from her heart.

It was if this statement worked magic upon Lexa because her head whipped around to look at Clarke. "I do not mind your nightmares, Clarke, it is only the loud moaning cries to a lost lover that steals my sleep away from me." Lexa replied while gazing evenly at Clarke, but her eyes betrayed her and Clarke saw sadness and fear lying there, clouding over the usual beautiful green.

"I've never had a lover, so your assumptions are very off," Clarke bit back at Lexa, unsure of where this was coming from within herself. "I dream of the day my father was taken away and killed right before my eyes, so forgive me if I can't just let that go in a hurry." And with that she stormed back into the tent, desperately trying to ignore the clenching and mewling of her hungry stomach.

 _Lexa's POV_

' _For Spirit's sake Lexa, you fool, how will she ever forgive you for what you just accused her of?'_ Lexa moaned to herself. It had been her father in her dreams, not some lover, and somehow that just made Lexa's accusations all the worse. Lexa paced around the fire, her mind to full to meditate. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. This process repeated until Lexa could smell the beginnings of charred flesh. She broke out of her trance and rushed over to the meat, pulling the spit off of the fire and placing it on a bunch of large leaves she had gathered earlier while Clarke had slept. She removed the meat from the spit and cut it into strips. She knew that as much as she did not want to face Clarke right now, the blonde was undoubtedly hungry from not eating over the last two days.

She sighed and made her way back into the tent holding two leaves piled high with meat like a peace offering. She could see Clarke hunched in the corner of the tent wrapped in a large fur with her back towards Lexa. It appeared as if Clarke had not even noticed her entrance. Lexa was intrigued by what had managed to draw Clarke's attention away to the extent that she would not even notice someone's footsteps or smell the familiar scent of food. She moved closer until she could just barely see over the blonde's shoulder. It was the sketchpad that Clarke had been carrying with her and on the first page lay the black and white image of a man that looked remarkably like Clarke.

His eyes were filled with a patient kindness that she had seen fill Clarke's eyes while she was with the wolf pack. The same furrow adorned his brow, and he held himself strong and upright, keeping his head level. She could feel the respect and love that Clarke had for this man, whom she assumed to be Clarke's father, by the careful lines of her pencil on the paper.

She cleared her throat awkwardly, not wanting to disturb Clarke's moment of peace and remembrance. Clarke's shoulders stiffened and straightened and Lexa heard the sound of the sketchpad being flipped closed. Without turning around she spoke in a hollow voice; "What do you want, Lexa?"

"I brought food. I thought you might be hungry." Lexa heard the words flow out of her mouth, but her mind was busy analyzing Clarke. She could see the shifting in her spine and hips and quickly schooled her face back into her stoic mask before the blonde turned to face her.

"Thank you," Clarke said formally, accepting the gift of food with two open hands. When Lexa handed it off to her she felt a bolt of electricity shoot up her arm, and her eyes widened before they flickered to Clarke's. It seemed as if the other girl had experienced the same reaction, her breathing hitched and her eyebrows shooting up her forward, in an expression that Lexa would have found comical on any other occasion.

"I should go," Lexa heard herself say, while she internally kicked herself. All she wanted to do was stay here with Clarke, but of course she just had to say something and screw it all up. She closed her mouth, her lips forming a tight line, and her body already preparing to flee the tent and the built up tension inside of it.

"No, stay," a soft voice answered her and Lexa felt herself sinking onto the ground beside Clarke. They ate in silence, and when Lexa finished she knew it was her turn to speak.

"I lost someone I loved once as well, although she was not family. Her name was Costia, and she was captured and killed by the Ice Nation because their queen thought she knew my secrets." She paused here slightly, before plowing on. "Because she was mine. They sent her head to me on a spike, and I have not slept easy since."

She let her eyes focus solely on the empty, meat-stained leaf in her hands, trying to look anywhere except where Clarke was. When she finally sneaked a glance up at the silent blonde, she saw blue eyes filled with compassion, understanding, and little bit of sadness.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Lexa. It sounds like there's a lot we don't know about each other." Lexa recognized that this was Clarke's way of apologizing, and offering her peace from small war they had started between each other.

Lexa nodded her head in response and moved to back out of the tent, but she stopped when she felt a cold hand wrap around her wrist, pulling her back towards Clarke. Her eyes flickered up to where she knew Clarke's were, and when blue met green, she saw confusion and longing within their azure depths. Her breathing hitched and her heart started racing. The blonde's fingers shifted slightly, and Lexa was sure she could feel the throbbing of her blood running through her veins. She saw the corner of Clarke's mouth twitch up in a small smirk. Lexa's eyes narrowed and the blonde quickly dropped her hand, although her lips quirked upwards once more.

Lexa grabbed Clarke's empty leaf from her other hand and marched out of the tent. She threw the leaves into the fire and brooded there for a few moments before marching back into the tent, determined not to let Clarke and that frustrating smile drive her out of her own sleeping area.

What she saw when she entered the tent again made her throat run dry. Clarke had just taken off her outer shirt, letting the inner one ride up her stomach as she attempted to pull the outer over her head. Lexa heard an angry snort before the blonde yelled, "Lexa, don't just stand there! Help get me out of this thing!"

Lexa gulped before moving closer to Clarke, letting her finger ghost over the exposed flesh of Clarke's stomach. She heard Clarke sigh in response and in one swift motion she pulled down the inner shirt and yanked the outer shirt off over Clarke's head. When she was free, she looked up at Lexa, her eyes bright in her victory and her face flushed red. Lexa couldn't resist any longer, and she leaned in closer to Clarke. She could hear the blonde's heart racing and knew her heart was reciprocating the action. Without any more hesitation she brought her hands up to cup the blonde's chin and pressed her lips against Clarke's.


	10. Chapter 10

_Lexa's POV_

It was a chaste kiss and Clarke did not offer Lexa any entrance into her mouth. Lexa respected her, so she did not push her farther than Clarke let her. Just the simply touching of their lips made Lexa's blood sing, sending liquid fire pulsing through her body, scorching the black marks of her tattoo. She tried to stifle the gasp that rose through her chest at the feeling, but there was nothing she could do, and with slight embarrassment, it came sliding out of her traitorous mouth. She Clarke's eyes open slightly, and the blonde pulled away slowly trying to calm down her own body.

After they had regained their breaths, and let the fire pulsing through their veins die down to a small burn in the backs of their minds, their eyes met. Lexa could see that Clarke was bewildered and confused, but she could also see something else floating there, acceptance, Lexa thought. Clarke's eyes seemed to glaze over, and her concentration shifted inward, leaving Lexa curious before her. It took several minutes before the blonde came back to her, but when she did she smiled gently at Lexa, a shy blush creeping up her neck and staining the paleness of her cheeks.

"Well," she spoke, her voice surprisingly raspy and deep. Her voice trailed off after this and left Lexa with the opportunity to speak.

"We leave early in the morning, we should sleep." She saw Clarke bite her lip and Lexa could feel herself growing hotter, the blood within her veins thrumming at a faster rhythm. She knew that it was all she could do to keep as still as she could as to not betray her body's desire for the other girl.

"You're right. Tomorrow's a big day. You can finally get rid of me and I'll see the Commander," she tried to joke casually, but it came out very strained and forced. Lexa's heart plummeted when the blonde spoke of her supposed need to get rid of her. _'How could Clarke ever think that?'_ Lexa though to herself, she had thought she had been quite forward with Clarke. _'It's not like you're actually being honest, Lexa, you've only been telling her lies about your identity. What is she going to do when she sees that you are the Commander?'_ Lexa felt her stomach contract, and an all to familiar weight settle itself back upon her shoulders.

She needed Clarke to know of her intentions; something to lessen the blow of her lies when they reached Polis and Clarke was forced to meet Heda Lexa, instead of just Lexa. "You won't be getting rid of me, Clarke," she said quietly, making her eyes meet the blue ones in front of her. She heard Clarke's breath hitch, and she saw the other girl turning away and moving back towards the bed that they shared. Moments later, she turned again to face Lexa, a commanding look that would rival Lexa's own on her face.

Lexa moved to acquiesce to her silent request, crawling under the furs and lying there stiffly trying to decide how to best proceed. Her questions were answered when she felt strong arms pull her into an embrace. She relaxed into Clarke's arms, and felt at peace when Clarke lay her head upon the exposed flesh of Lexa's shoulder and murmured into the hair near her ear, "I'm glad."

 _Clarke's POV_

The kiss was like nothing Clarke had ever felt before. It sent sparks flying through her system, electrocuting her heart, and sending tidal waves through the current of her blood. She felt whole in that blissful moment, the loneliness within her ebbing away until it was simply a memory of the past. But when she felt Lexa's mouth open and a small gasp come out, she new she wasn't the only one feeling it. However, she knew that she wasn't ready right now, all she could worry about was her people, and with this thought, the loneliness settled back in its home above her heart.

She drew away from Lexa, giving herself the much-needed distance in order to quench the fire that coursed through her blood. When she looked up again, she found herself lost in forest green, and soon she was falling. She landed back in her meadow, surrounded by her pack, gods she missed them she realized as the felt a pang of regret shoot through her. She let herself relax in the comfort of simply being around family before she rose to answer to the call of a familiar voice.

"Child, do you recognize what has happened?" The voice asked gently. Clarke nodded her head; the memories of her and Lexa's kiss preventing her from speaking coherently. "Your bodies have chosen each other. It is a simple marking process, you shall see its effects soon." The voice paused here, as if looking to make sure that Clarke understood before diving forward again. "You cannot turn back now, Clarke. Your spirit has accepted her as your _Seelehalb_ , and without the bonding in the next month, you will both die." Clarke swallowed at this. She wasn't ready to be with anyone; she was too damaged, to unlovable. "You were made for each other," the voice chastised her, as if it had read her mind, "to overcome adversary and create peace through your love is no mean feat, it could not be done if the bond between you two was not real or strong enough to sustain it." Clarke nodded at this.

The voice faded away and Clarke felt a wet tongue on her cheek, it was Hainofa. She turned to hug him, burying her face in his dark brown and black-splotched fur. "Come find me, I need you here with me," she breathed into him. She pulled away slightly and heard his voice in her mind, " _We will come, Prisa."_

And with that she was pulled back into her corporeal body, standing stock still in the middle of a tent across from a puzzled Lexa. She tried to speak to express her feelings, but she got choked up after the first word, her mouth closing on its own accord preventing more words from exiting. It seemed that Lexa got the idea because she suggested the get ready for bed. The way she spoke was formal, and once again Clarke was reminded of her fears. She attempted to make a joke about it, trying to flesh out the extent of Lexa's feelings. There was a moment of silence, and Clarke felt herself blushing with embarrassment. However, her worry was pushed away at Lexa's response. She wanted to say something in return, but only got her chance after snuggling into Lexa's side. She would meet the Commander tomorrow, but for now she could lose herself in the comfort that Lexa gave her.

Clarke woke slightly before daybreak, the peace and restfulness of slumber evading her and with defeat she realized that her chances of falling back asleep were slim, even in the arms of her _Seelehalb_. She heard movement outside and she tensed automatically, but tried to relax for Lexa's sake. The poor girl needed her sleep, Clarke had been learning to read Lexa's eyes for her emotions, but now the things the focused on the most were the steadily growing bags beneath her eyes.

Unwrapping herself slowly from the entangled mess of arms and legs that was Lexa, Clarke made her way out of bed and exited the tent. _"Took you long enough,"_ she heard a laughing voice in her head as a very large brown and black shadow made its way towards her in the pre-dawn light flooding the small clearing were camping in.

" _Hainofa, you came!"_ His tongue lolled out of his mouth and an accusatory glint sat deep within his eyes.

" _Of course I came, we couldn't very well just leave you all by yourself. You wouldn't last a day."_ His voice laughed again in her head. As he spoke several other large, and several smaller wolves slipped out of the trees and made their way over to Clarke. She felt happiness overwhelm her and she moved towards them, feeling her body changing into another form. She panicked at first before she simply let the change consume her. Luckily, it was not as painful as it had been before, so she was saved the need to accidentally wake Lexa with her yowling.

Her limbs itched for a run, to feel the wind race through her fur, and to feel the satisfaction after a successful hunt. Her brethren seemed to understand her needs and soon she found herself hurtling through the forest, their paws making light sounds on the brown, leaf covered forest floor. She felt alive, adrenaline pumping itself through her system, her entire mind focused singly on finding something to hunt. When the small pack came across a small herd of deer, they made short work of them, although Clarke managed to save a small part of one of the deer for Lexa, since they had finished the rabbit last night.

She realized that she was splattered with blood from the kill, as were the rest of the pack. Her coat was the only white one, so she stood out the most with her red-stained muzzle and spotted chest. _"We should get back,"_ Clarke mentioned to the rest of the group, grabbing the piece of dear before starting on a steady lope back to the campsite, and more importantly, Lexa.

 _Lexa's POV_

She shifted in her sleep feeling for Clarke, and upon finding the rest of her bed empty, Lexa woke up immediately. She looked around frantically, unable to see any sign of the blonde within the tent. All of here art supplies were here, and so was the gun, meaning that the other girl had not ventured out to draw or paint in the forest. Lexa growled in frustration, how could she have gotten so close to Clarke only for her to slip right back out of her fingers.

Lexa fled from her bed, moving in one lithe movement, her tanned body covered in goose bumps from the late fall morning. She pulled on her outer clothes as fast as possible, sheathed her sword on her back, and tucked her knives into their special spots within her jacket, pants, and fur-lined boots. When she was finally ready, she took a deep breath and exited the tent. She walked to wear the fire had burned before last night and set about building another one, if Clarke was indeed out, than it would be more prudent for Lexa to remain at camp so when the girl returned there would be fire and comfort. _'Although,'_ Lexa thought to herself, _'If she is not back in one hour I will go and search for her.'_ As the worked to start the fire, she noticed paw prints around the campsite.

They were deep and plentiful, meaning that it could not have been from a single predator in the nighttime. Lexa paled, realizing that this meant that the wolves had returned. She knew that Clarke was part of their pack, and was unsure if the girl had simply run off with them. She pulled a small knife from her coat and threw it across the campsite into one of the tree, letting out a shout of anger. _'She left me. I let her in for one night and ups and leaves!'_ Lexa growled to herself. She had faith in the Spirit, but her _Seelehalb_ was a mystery to Lexa, one day staying by her side, and the other leaving without warning.

She walked across the frosty clearing to retrieve her knife, pulling it from the hardened outer bark of the large pine. When the blade was free, the wiped the small amount of wood pulp on her pants, and made to tuck it back into her jacket. However, she was stopped by several small cracking noises directly behind her. She turned to find herself face to face with a large, bloodstained, white wolf. Its blue eyes stared at her, and suddenly, without warning, its mouth opened and a large tongue flicked out to lick Lexa's face.

Lexa was shocked and opened her mouth several times, however no words exited the pink, and slightly chapped lips. _'Good morning, Lexa,'_ Clarke's voice sounded in her head sounding seemingly amused, _'Close your mouth, you look like a fish,_ ' the voice continued. Lexa snapped her mouth shut at this, causing the wolf to let loose a huffy breath that Lexa assumed was a laugh. Her green eyes narrowed at this, only causing the wolf to laugh harder. Lexa fumed and made to turn around and stalk back into the tent, when a light mouth her arm stopped her.

The grip was loose enough to prevent Lexa from having any pain, but tight enough not to let Lexa budge without causing pain. Lexa turned back around to face the white wolf, her intentions of not moving clear. The wolf released her and the Clarke's voice sounded again in her head, _'I'm sorry I left, Lexa. I needed to be with my pack, and to hunt freely in the forest. I cannot control the spirit within me, what it desires I obey.'_ The blue eyes continued to burn into her own, _'I have not learned how to release myself from this form, so when we travel to your commander's city, I will go as I am.'_ Lexa looked at her, her brain already calculating how the entire arrival scenario would play out, and how she would manage to slip away and don her Commander outfit.

"Of course, Clarke, is the rest of your pack with you?" The wolf shook its head.

' _No, they ran with me back to the clearing after our hunt, but they needed to return to their young.'_ Lexa nodded at this, it was a similar situation with her warriors at home.

' _Home,'_ Lexa thought, _'How come I spent so much time wishing to return, but now that I have Clarke I no longer want to go back. I wish to remain just Lexa with her, without the persona of the Commander interrupting what we have.'_ Wishful thinking, she knew, but she could not find it within herself to banish the dream from her mind entirely.

She was interrupted by a nudge on her arm from the head of the white wolf, leaving a small blood smear across her outer jacket. She wolf turned and nodded its head back near to the fire, Lexa looked over the wolf and saw a hunk of meat sitting on the ground near the outer stone ring. "You brought me part of your kill?" Lexa was stunned; this was a very generous and personal gift, often seen as a courting present in her culture. Lexa knew that Clarke could not know of this, but it still sent happy shudders through Lexa.

The wolf nodded, something akin to pride flashing in its eyes. "I will cook it, I assume you ate already?" The wolf nodded again.

' _Not like I would enjoy eating that cooked. Completely destroys it.'_ Clarke snorted in her head, leaving Lexa deeply affronted.

"I'll have you know that my cooking is quite exceptional, I believe you thought so last night, actually." Lexa argued back to the wolf. The wolf made a face that looked rather like it was raising an eyebrow at Lexa.

' _When I am in this form, I do not eat my meat raw, I prefer to feel the fresh blood on my face and feel the heat of the animal leave its body as it enters mine.'_ Lexa did not know how to respond to this, so she simply grabbed the hunk of meat from the ground and dusted it off lightly before spitting it on a stake and adjusting it so it lay over the fire.

While the meat was cooking, Lexa took the time to pack up the tent and furs, putting it all on her dead guards horses, since they would have no use for them now. Within the hour, the meat was finished, and most of it was stored away for Lexa's use on the journey back, although some of it was eaten then. Lexa turned around to look for the white wolf and found it snoozing beside the heat of the fire. Lexa walked over to its side, twisting her fingers through its fur and tracing the black markings on its back in the same design as Clarke's tattoo.

' _Gods I haven't had a massage in ages and that feel amazing, don't you dare stop.'_ Lexa heard Clarke's pleasure filled voice within her head and it made her smile. She continued to move her fingers up and down the wolf's body, kneading at the large muscles hidden behind the white fur, and stopping to simply stroke its head. Most of the blood had dried on its fur from the heat of the fire, and Lexa honestly found herself not caring that she was running her fingers through blood-encrusted fur; all she thought about was the beautiful creature in front of her.

The wolf's hair was very long near its head, and Lexa suddenly had an idea. She was going to braid Clarke's hair, although she would still be in wolf form, it was an intimate gesture that would return the favor for Clarke bringing her food for the journey back. She laughed to herself at this thought, Clarke would have no idea what the meaning of this meant. Normally, when one braided someone else's hair, it was a sign of great trust, allowing someone to be behind you and close to weakness of your neck.

She threaded her fingers through the long white fur at the base of the wolf's neck, effectively splitting it into three different sections, which she then braided into an elegant line down the wolf's neck. She made sure not to include any of the fur that bore the special markings. It would be important for her people to see them, and accept that the legends were true. In some ways, Lexa thought, it was actually better for Clarke to be in wolf form because then her sign would be open for all to see. It would give them an explanation before Lexa need even speak.

When she was finished, she gently poked the wolf in the side, causing it to grunt and shake its head at her in disapproval. "We need to leave if we want to reach Polis by tonight," Lexa said to the grumpy and still slightly drowsy wolf. The sun was already two hours past sunrise and Lexa knew as much as she would like to stay by the wolf's side playing with its hair, they needed to leave.

The wolf rose to its feet, swaying slightly before shaking off the dirt and pine needles that had collected on its fur while it had rested. Lexa appreciated the size of the wolf before her. Its head was level with her own, making its shoulder height about 15 hands Lexa estimated. It walked over to her and nudged her out of her thoughts, pushing her toward the empty horse. It shied away from the wolf, but approached again at Lexa's demand. She mounted her horse and took off at a slow pace, leading the two horses behind her at a fast trot.

The wolf grinned at her and took off a lope beside her. It was almost as large as her horse, Lexa thought with awe. They traveled for several more hours before Lexa stopped to eat some more of the cooked dear, and let the horses rest and drink some more water before they carried on their way. When the horses had been watered, and Lexa fed, they resumed their journey. Lexa was lost in her thoughts, thinking of the Mountain Men, of Anya, and of her role as Commander. It took her several moments to realize that the wolf was no longer with her.

"For Spirit's sake, can she not even manage to stay with me for more than half a day!" She grumbled to her horse.

' _What an amusing sentiment, Lexa, had I known you were so attached I would not have left without saying something.'_ Lexa could have sworn the wolf smirked while Clarke said this in her head. Lexa felt a blush rising on her neck and up to her cheeks; she desperately tried to repress it, but ended up just turning her back on the wolf.

' _Don't be like that. I simply went to hunt. I thought it would make a nice gift for your people, especially since I've killed two of them.'_ There were hints of remorse within the voice, but for the most part it sounded simply like a formal explanation. Lexa smiled at this, although the thoughts of her lost guards pained her. Little did Clarke know, but bringing food for a person's village was an even larger part of the courting ritual. This was proving to be quite amusing indeed, and she could not wait to see Clarke's face when she found out.

Lexa turned around again, and could see that there was a large deer on its back, and fresh blood trails marring its fur once again. They traveled without stop until the sun had set, and the stars resumed their spots in the dark sky once again. "We are close," Lexa spoke aloud, not pausing to turn and look at the wolf behind her. Up ahead, she could see the orange glow of the flame that sat at the top of the palace. It grew bigger and bigger the closer they came, and eventually Lexa could see the gate coming into view.

" _Chon yu bilak (_ who are you) _?"_ A voice cried out in Trigedasleng.

" _A laik Heda Lexa_ (I am Heda Lexa) _,"_ Lexa responded evenly. There were several excited murmurs before the gate opened and a torch bobbed toward them in the night. An older man, maybe of 50 years or so, held it, Lexa thought. The man moved towards her at a broken gait, it seemed as if he had a pronounced limp in his right leg. When he reached her, his smile could be seen and it stretched genuinely across his wrinkled face.

" _Heda, em ste koma_ (Heda, it is an honor) _,"_ the man said, while bending low at the waist to replicate some sort of twisted version of a bow. It was there that he caught sight of white paws coming into view, small twigs cracking under its feet as it moved closer. He straightened awkwardly, _"Heda!"_ He exclaimed anxiously, _"Ste wulf es komba raun!_ (There's a wolf approaching!)"

Lexa nodded her head slightly, the man's eyes bugging out and his mouth open in fearful surprise, that he quickly tried to master but failed. The wolf continued to approach until it was standing beside Lexa's horse. The deer was still on its back and it fur was covered in a fresh coat of blood; it must have looked a sight.

" _Ste em klir, Heda? (_ Is it safe, Heda?)" The man asked nervously.

" _Mana diskoma ai lectes (_ Do you intend to dishonor my decisions?)" Lexa asked the man coldly.

She could see him gulp in fear from the flickering light of the torch. " _Nowe, Heda, moba, moba (_ Never, Heda, my apologies, my apologies)," the man replied quickly, his voice barely hiding his fear.

Lexa knew that Clarke could not understand what was being said, especially in her wolf form, so she simply looked harshly at the man and motioned her head back to the gate. The man hobbled away as fast as her could towards the safety of the gate away from the wrath of Lexa and the sight of the wolf.

"We are about to enter Polis, Clarke. I hope that this will change the way you see my people."

' _You already have, Lexa,'_ Clarke replied in her head.

Lexa gulped at this, her heart melting slightly at Clarke's words. "We will give the deer to my people first, before a slight introduction to who you are. Then we go to bed."

The wolf raised an eyebrow again, _'That's awfully forward of you, Lexa.'_ Clarke's voice laughed in her head and she felt herself blushing again.

She surged ahead on her horse, leaving the wolf standing there in the darkness. Seconds later, she heard familiar padding sounds following her and saw the wolf moving up to stand by her side once more. They passed through the gate and entered the fire lit expanse of Polis.


	11. Chapter 11

**To Raikiri92: Thanks so much for your review! I'm glad you like the story and think it's original. As for the word 'Seelehalb,' I was aware when I created it that it was not linguistically accurate. I knew that Trigedasleng was not an accurate representation of any language, and was really just jumbled words to create new words, so I tried to do that here. Also, Trigedasleng doesn't really have words directly from other languages, so I didn't add in the real word simply because I didn't want it to sound as if I had pulled it directly from the German language.**

 _Clarke's POV_

She was glad she was in wolf form because the city seemed to magnify before her as she padded through its winding roads. The smells were more intense, her eyes picked up even the smallest details in the fire lit darkness, and she heard the steady hum of city life through the delicate membranes of her ears. She tried to control her shock at the wide expanse of life that sat before her, but it was simply too astounding. Never before had she seen anything like this, and to see it running at the hands of the Grounders impressed her even more. She could hide the wonder and shock behind the mask of the wolf, and that gave her a feeling of power and comfort as she walked beside Lexa.

She looked up at Lexa, who sat elegantly on her black horse, her spine stiff and her neck arched elegantly keeping her head held high. As people gathered to watch her pass, they kept cheering in a language that Clarke could not understand. _"Heda! Heda! Heda! Heda!"_ Their cheers quieted when they saw Clarke, but the relief on their faces at seeing Lexa was still there, masking the fear they felt for the large white wolf beside her.

Clarke wondered what the word "Heda" meant. She knew that it must pertain to Lexa, since it was solely she on the receiving end of that word. It seemed to be spoken like a prayer, a revered shout, or a hopeful whisper. It poked the curious part of Clarke, and made her desperate to understand what Lexa's role among her people was. Her curiosity almost quelled the fear that had built up surrounding the unfamiliar city and her meeting with the Commander, but it quickly resurfaced when a heavy stone was thrown at her, hitting her shoulder and knocking the deer from her back. Clarke whipped around, a snarl forming in her throat. She could feel the fresh blood oozing from the cut on her shoulder, and Clarke knew that it would be severely bruised at best when she returned to human state.

Clarke leaned down to sniff the large rock that lay covered in her blood on the cobblestone road. She raised her head and smelt the fear of the people, but one scent in particular caught her attention. _"Come here rock-thrower. I can smell you, you cannot hide."_ She growled into the minds of the people surrounding her. Several gasped in shock, and all of their faces paled in some sort of recognition that Clarke could not place.

She heard shuffling sounds to her right and she turned to face that direction. Lexa attempted to turn her horse to follow Clarke's movements, but Clarke swung around and growled at her, showing Lexa the two and a half inch long canines that jutted from her snarling mouth. _"Do not come closer, Lexa. This is mine to deal with."_ Lexa looked slightly sick behind her stoic façade, but she nodded anyways.

Clarke pretended that the only reason she did not want Lexa to approach was because it was her justice and not Lexa's to give, but really she was worried about her. The white wolf as Clarke moved to step in front of Lexa's horse, effectively blocking her from the right side where the rock had been thrown from.

A small boy shuffled out from crowd, his eyes glazed with fear and his breathing shallow. "I threw the rock. I could not let you come into the city and hurt Heda Lexa. It is my duty as a warrior." The small boy spoke in halting English. Clarke appraised him; he looked no more than six years in age. The crowd gasped again and a women rushed from crowd towards the boy, Clarke assumed it was his mother. "Mari!" She said in an accented voice. Clarke snarled at the women and she stopped dead in her tracks.

" _What has been done deserves justice, and that is mine alone to give."_ Clarke spoke again, her words directed to the crowd. The women stepped back and gazed worriedly at her son. She saw that wolf was covered in old and new blood, and she knew that it was a ferocious killer. Clarke read her body language and felt a pang of guilt hit her. _'Am I killer?'_ Clarke thought to herself. _'Would I really kill this little boy?'_ She shook her head at this thought and spoke to the boy.

' _Mari, you have wounded me without cause. You claim it was to protect Lexa, but what had I done to show you any sign that I would hurt her?'_ She asked sharply, but with a gentle undertone, to the boy in front of her.

' _Mama says that there are bad spirits in the forest and they try to take what's special away from you, leaving you weak and broken. I did not want to lose my Nomi or Heda.'_ The boy said in his mind, looking surprised when Clarke nodded her head at this, as if he had believed she would not be able to hear him.

' _It is fine to be scared, Mari. But hurting things without justifiable reason, no matter how much you believe it to be so, is wrong.'_ The boy nodded at this, a look of knowing and relief on his face.

' _I will not kill you for hurting me because I believe that learning is much better at correcting mistakes than simply killing the people who make them without teaching them why what they did was wrong. But, if you fail to understand what you have been taught today, I will not be so lenient the next time.'_ She leveled her head to gaze right into the dark brown eyes of the boy in front of her. He nodded at her words, and whispered aloud, "I promise."

' _Nevertheless,'_ Clarke continued, gaining the attention of the boy once again, _'Justice must be taken. Remove your shirt and lie on the ground.'_ The boy acquiesced and Clarke could see the evident fear in his mother's eyes, and the subtle questions dancing in Lexa's. When the boy had done as she asked, she turned her attention back to him.

' _You will feel the pain that I felt when you hit me, no more, no less.'_ She said to the boy as the pressed a paw into his should, leaving five bleeding claw marks in its place. When the boy had risen to his feet once again, his back was slick with red blood, gleaming dimly in the firelight of the torches. He turned back to look at her, _'You are of the Spirit?'_ She looked sharply at the boy and with slight hesitation, nodded once.

The boy's face darkened with sadness. ' _The Maunon took my Nontu away and mother said the Spirit had taken him.'_ She saw his eyes glimmer and she felt something in her heart pang for him as she recognized the same pain lay within her from losing her people.

' _I will find your Nontu, whether it be in this life or the next,'_ She told the boy gently, and was surprised when he ran and flung his arms around her. He was still too short to reach his arms up around her neck, but he clung tightly to her front legs and chest, burying his head in the warm, rusted-white fur. He sobbed quietly as the rest of the crowd looked on in shock. His small hands were tangled in her fur, and his tears left white patches among the red on her chest. She did not know why she did it but she lowered her head and licked the top of his. His tear-stained face gazed up at her, and she lowered her nose to rest on the top of his head, giving him the best comfort she could in this form.

Then she raised her head again and he unhooked his fingers from her pelt. He sniffled once and Clarke spoke gently to him again, ' _You are not alone. Be strong, little warrior, your mother needs you.'_ He gazed up at her adoringly, the pain on his shoulder seemingly forgotten, before turning around to walk back to his mother, who embraced him immediately before scolding him loudly in the foreign language.

' _Stop.'_ She commanded the older woman. ' _He has learned his lesson. What is done is done, there is no need to bring it up again.'_ She looked sharply at the woman when she said this, but her words were directed at the crowd.

She turned to look at Lexa and saw her gazing evenly at her. The woman's emotions were well hidden, but her eyes told all. Clarke looked and saw awe, fear, fleeting sadness, and something else that Clarke couldn't quite place.

Lexa turned to speak to the crowd. "This is a gift from Clarke to our people, use it for our welcoming feast." She said as she gestured to the deer on the ground. "Tomorrow will be a day of introduction and celebration." She waved a hand and her procession continued onward, Clarke moved to keep up with her as they left the scene. She felt a pair of eyes on her and she turned slightly to see Mari gazing at her with the rock in his hand. He smiled and waved his rock free hand. She nodded to him and turned around to follow Lexa again as his mother simply stood there dumbfounded.

They walked for half an hour more before reaching a tall tower in the middle of the city. Its top scraped the night sky and Clarke knew if she were to look up, she would never see where it ended. She bristled slightly as she entered the building. It felt old and the spirit inside of her prickled and grew angry. Clarke recognized the feeling. This building was of the old world, before the Great Wars, which had caused great pain upon the people of the earth.

Clarke pushed the Spirit away from her head, and followed Lexa to a metal box that waited expectantly in the middle of the cavernous room. She stepped inside of it hesitantly, and heard it creak from her weight. Lexa stepped in after her, and soon the elevator lurched upwards, startling Clarke into falling against Lexa. Her head banged against the metal of the elevator and the world faded from her sight as the blackness took her.

 _Lexa's POV_

She stepped into the elevator, her mind replaying the scene between Clarke and the boy, Mari. She had been so sure that Clarke would kill him as she had done to the guards, but as she thought about it, they had tried to kill her, so her justice was proportional. It pained her to see Clarke and Mari speaking without actually knowing what had been said, and her curiosity begged her to ask Clarke when she returned to human form. It had warmed her heart to see what Clarke had done with the boy. She had been just, without being cruel or too weak with leniency, and had impressed her people greatly with what she had done.

If there had ever been a doubt about the Spirit's choice in Clarke, it had been dispelled that night. She was rattled from her thoughts as the elevator lurched upwards. Clarke was obviously not ready for the sudden movement and was knocked of her feet and into Lexa. The wolf's great head knocked loudly into the metal side of the elevator and the rest of its body dropped like a stone onto the floor. " _Klark!"_ Lexa screamed. She dropped to the ground and had just reached out to touch the wolf on the floor, when its body was replaced with that of Clarke's human one. She was naked and covered in blood again. Her shoulder was black and blue, and the cut on it was open and bleeding from the fall.

Lexa moved closer and picked up Clarke's heavy head to cradle it in her lap. The minute to the top of the building where her personal quarters were had never felt to agonizingly long in her life. Clarke's blood pooled onto the floor of the elevator, soaking Lexa's pants and seeping onto her skin. She felt sick, her _Seelehalb_ was bleeding out on the floor in front of her and there was nothing she could do. It felt like Costia all over again, and the knife in her heart twisted deeper at the thought. When the elevator finally dinged and the doors opened, she yelled loudly for help and several guards came running. She covered Clarke's body with her cloak and picked her up delicately.

" _Sis au Klark, em ste laksten foto._ (Help Clarke, she is hurt badly) _"_ She said, her voice breaking slightly from worry. The guards nodded and ran off in search of a healer, and minutes later they returned with one in tow. He motioned for her to follow him and after a small walk they entered his chambers. Lexa lay Clarke down on the bed of furs in the middle of the room and stalked towards the healer. "You make her better or you answer to me," she said menacingly before returning to sit by Clarke's side.

She watched as the healer got to work, wrapping Clarke's shoulder to prevent bleeding adding a salve to help minimize bruising. He moved to her head and looked at the gash near her ear on the back of her head. It was not very deep, but it had bled a good deal. He wrapped a clean cloth around her head and looked to Lexa. _"Heda, em gaf in rid op_ (Heda, she needs sleep)" he said before moving away from the blonde girl on the bed, and returning back to a small work table in the corner where he gathered several bags of crushed leaves and a wooden cup before coming back to stand beside the bed. "She will need a cup of tea with medicine in it every morning," he said quietly to Lexa while handing her the packages and cup. She flicked her eyes down and up at him in a small gesture of thanks. He nodded his head and exited the room, leaving Lexa alone with the sleeping Clarke.

She looked at the girl lying on the bed in front of her; she was pale and dirty, covered in crusted blood and a cover of light brown dirt. Lexa looked around the room and spotted a cloth and a bucket of water. She set down the tea and cup on the small table beside the bed and moved towards the wall to pick up the cloth and bucket. When she returned to Clarke's side, the dipped the cloth into the lukewarm water and swirled it up and down Clarke's skin. Slowly the blood and grime left her body, and Lexa used the rest of the water to wash Clarke's hair, which was quickly becoming more brown than blonde.

She scrubbed down to the roots of her hair with a frothy soap that smelled of lavender. When her hair was sufficiently lathered, Lexa then dipped Clarke's hair in the bucket, removing the soapy froth from her hair, leaving it curled and blonde once more. She had not washed someone's hair in a very long time, and to do so made her feel warm on the inside. It was a protective and loving feeling, one that Lexa had not felt in a very long time, and she desperately tried to push it down, but it would not budge.

With a sigh, Lexa left the room to gather some fresh clothes for Clarke and for herself. She was back within minutes, and she changed quickly into sleeping shorts and a flowing undershirt. She had taken the time to towel herself off quickly in her own room before returning to Clarke's side, and she felt better because of it. The feeling of Clarke's drying blood on her had left her feeling slightly queasy.

She had brought the same sleeping outfit for Clarke, and with a small struggle, she managed to dress the unresponsive blonde. She had to touch the girl in order to put on her clothes, and as much as Lexa tried to avoid it, when her fingers brushed Clarke's soft skin she felt an entirely inappropriate clench in her gut and a warmth spreading down her core. She gritted her teeth and dressed Clarke as quickly as she could without disrupting her sleep, however as she was sitting the other girl up to put on her shirt, Clarke grunted and made a small whimpering sound.

Lexa stopped immediately scared she had hurt her. She listened to Clarke's loud whimpering and was able to discern several words. "No, not her. She's mine. She's mine. You can't take her, I won't let you." Lexa lost track after that, Clarke's mumbling had become harder to hear and as much as Lexa strained she could not hear what the blonde was saying. She sat there in silence, waiting to see if other girl would speak again, but to her disappointment the girl had quieted. She continued to pull the shirt over Clarke's head and she had almost finished putting it on when she felt an iron grasp on her arm.

She looked down to find Clarke gripping her forearm with enormous strength for such a small body. "No, not my Lexa," she heard come out of Clarke's soft, pink lips. "Take me, but not her, not her." Lexa gulped at this, her eyes starting to become slightly teary in the darkness of the room. Clarke was dreaming of her, protecting her. And she had said 'my Lexa,' which caused Lexa's heart to flutter and her mind to race wildly for some other explanation than the one she had already created in her head. It was clear Clarke cared for her, and in the silence of the night Lexa allowed herself to break down and return the sentiments. She leaned down and brought Clarke's lips to her own. It was chaste and soft, slightly awkward in the positioning, but Lexa couldn't bring herself to complain.

She leaned back, smiling slightly as she looked down at Clarke, her hair fanned out around her in a sort of golden halo. Kneeling down, she scooped the girl up in her arms. Lexa suddenly felt tired and knew she wanted to sleep, but could not bring herself to leave Clarke here. She carried Clarke to her own chambers, stopping only to tell her guards to bring the tea and cup into her chambers for the morning. As she moved through the corridors to her own personal rooms, she cooed softly to Clarke the melody that had become their own.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi Readers! Bear with me here… My teachers decided all of my finals for my AP classes should be next week, so I'm pretty much studying my ass off so I don't get below a B+ in those classes (gotta keep that transcript up am I right or am I right?)**

 **Thanks to everyone who has read, is reading, or has reviewed. It really means a lot that you enjoy my story** **To Guest: I think I got to excited and introduced too many things at one time, thanks for calling me out on it, I'll try to slow things down a bit.**

 **To Life-is-rolling-keep-on-going: I know it's very AU. This story is actually semi-based off of a dream that I had. I tend to have very crazy dreams, and they haunt me until I write them down. This is my first story, but it is safe to assume when I write more they will based off of plots that come from my dreams.**

 **Ok, Ok, I'll get on with the story.**

 _Clarke's POV_

She drifted in and out of the conscious world, sometimes swaying as if being held gently within someone's arms, other times, from the pain of her head or the terrors of her dreams. She tried to track her thoughts as they ran by her muddled brain. She wondered what had happened last night, if it even was last night, Clarke wasn't sure how much time had passed while she had slept. The only thing she could remember was the incident with the boy, a room full of darkness and shadows with a metal box that smelt like blood, and throughout all of her memories was the haunting melody that plagued her every thought.

It was lilting and sorrowful, full of forgotten hope and forbidden love. It keened and mellowed out, plucking at the heartstrings of Clarke's heart like the harps she had read about on the ark. The tune brought with it hundreds of memories that Clarke did not recognize. Events from earth: brutal wars and blood soaked battle fields, the intense look of love within the eyes of black-haired man, a howling woman who held the head of her younger sister, but what stuck with her the most a familiar shade of green that blended within each scene that painted itself upon the closed canvas of her eyelids.

She opened her eyes, unable to watch anymore of her Spirit's memories, and saw that she was in a dark, candlelit room. It was warm, the winter's cold having been cut out, and Clarke only briefly paused to wonder how. She seemed to be in a somewhat circular room, its walls were too dark to discern what was on them, but judging from the glinting metal in the firelight, she assumed that at least one part of the wall was adorned with weapons. There was table hidden in the shadows by the far end of the room, and six elegantly carved wooden chairs sat stiffly by it. Her eyes flicked from the table, onto the canopy above her. It was carved of beautiful, dark wood, with delicate designs etched into it, creating soft shadowed patterns on the furs on her bed from the flickering light of the room.

There were many furs on the bed, all of them large and soft, and she took the time to run her fingers through them, marveling at their beauty. She wished that she had been better prepared before coming to earth. If only she had known how to survive better she would not have had to doctor up the delinquents after every expedition into the forest, or see the hunger and exhaustion that gnawed at people's bodies. Her hands would not be soaked with the blood of her people, nor would her heart be drowned in their false hopes. She had let them all down. Here she was enjoying being pampered while her people could be dead inside of the mountain. She cursed herself and her selfishness, she was not here on a pleasure mission, she was here to get help from the Commander and fight for her people back.

Lexa was a distraction that she could not afford to have. She now understood the dreams that her Spirit had sent to her, they were to warn her what would happen if she did not complete her mission; memories of those before her who had failed and destroyed themselves and their loved ones. That would not happen to her, Clarke swore. They had become some twisted sort of family for her. Bellamy with his extreme over-protectiveness of her and Octavia, Finn with his gentle love of the sparky and constantly energized Raven, Wells and his quite support, and Charlotte, the girl who had become a sort of daughter to Clarke. These were her people and she would die a thousand times before losing them.

With that thought, she pushed herself up onto her elbows, trying desperately to ignore the pounding of her head, and the nausea that shot through her. She probably had a minor concussion, she concluded, and she swore again, that would only delay her on her mission. She waited for the pain to pass before she continued her rise upward. Once in a sitting position, she was able to see the small table beside her, and on it was a small wooden cup filled with strongly scented water, Clarke presumed it was tea. She gulped it down, ignoring the bitter after taste that sat on her tongue. Anything was better than feeling the sticky scratchiness of her throat after her long sleep. The drink made her feel much better, chasing away the last remnants of her nausea and dulling the pain slightly in her head.

Feeling refreshed and full of purpose, she extracted herself from the clutching warmth of the bed and strode out across the room. While the bed itself was warm, the room still held small amount of the winter chill she previously had thought non-existent. The tiled floors were cool against her bare feet, and it raised small goose bumps up the ivory expanse of her skin. She fingered the light shirt that rested upon her shoulders and came down until it covered her mid thigh. It was peasant style, with a tie up front near the neck, and loosely cuffed sleeves. She was wearing the short like underwear, and nothing more. With dread Clarke realized just what the fresh clothes and refreshing feeling of cleanliness meant. Lexa must have washed her and clothed her, she thought with embarrassment.

It wasn't so much the thought of being naked in front of the other girl that bothered Clarke; it was the feeling of exposing too much weakness. This injury had just been another vulnerability that Clarke had placed within Lexa's hands; she didn't even know the girl that well. Clarke shook her head, ashamed at herself, saving her people meant that she needed to toughen up. She couldn't simply show weakness like this in front of the grounders, especially not in front of the Commander. She needed the help, and the only way to get it was to earn it and show the Commander that her cause was worthy.

Clarke realized that she had begun pacing, a bad habit she had picked up from her father when he had been nervous or stressed. Her father, he would want her to be strong. She would do it for him, and for her people. She eyed the watch on her wrist and with even more determination than before, set off to find the door out of the room. Her fingers traced the paneling of the walls, feeling the cool marble on the pads of her fingertips. Finally she reached a small dip, and the texture under her hands changed from cool stone to textured wood. She lowered her hand and found a small handle. She applied gentle pressure, trying to minimize the amount of noise that the door would make while being opened. To her surprise, the door swung open easily on the hinges without a sound. She stepped out through the doorway and into the hallway, it was darker than her room, lit with torches spread evenly at ten-foot intervals.

She closed the door behind her, and began her exploration of the hallway. She saw the giant metal cage from her memories, and vehemently avoided it. She would find stairs, she thought to herself. And find them she did. It took her only a few more minutes to come to another door, with a small and very worn placard with writing in faded English lettering, "Stairs." She pushed this door open gently too, knowing that it would most likely make a small amount of sound.

The door hesitated at first, grunting under the movement after years of disuse, but finally she opened without any very noticeable noises. Her bare feet padded lightly down the concrete steps of the winding staircase. She walked for what seemed like twenty minutes before finally reaching the door that showed another placard reading, "Ground Level." She pushed open this door as well, slipping out quietly and into the shadows of the wall beside her. It would be foolish for her to assume there would not be any guards, and she was right. As she stood there quietly, she could see the stiff shadows weaving within the dark patterns on the floor, back and forth, back and forth. She followed the curve of the wall, making sure she was still hidden by its shadows, before finding a small crack in the wall of the building. Looking around quickly to ascertain the location of the guards, Clarke pulled slowly out of the darkness that hid her. She darted to the small opening and squeezed herself through it.

Outside, the chill was much more noticeable, and as she lifted her face towards the speckled night sky, she felt light brushes across her face, like icy feathers. She reached up to feel them, but they melted quickly on her face, leaving her hand wet with cold water. She held out the same hand and to her amazement, small white crystals began to land on her skin, stopping to stay briefly, before melting at her body's warmth. She moved the rest of her body out from the rest of the crack so that her entirety was open to the falling crystals, which she remembered were called snow. She closed her eyes, letting their frosty touches glance across the planes of her face, and bury themselves within the twisted blonde strands of her hair.

She took a step forward, and then another, her hands outstretched before her, trying desperately to keep hold of the icy beauties that kept her company in the dead of night. She moved like a wraith away from the tower, transfixed by the snow around her, so enraptured she forgot about the cold that penetrated through the thin fabric of her sleep clothes, and the nakedness of her feet on the crunchy white surface below her. She let her feet guide her, her mind too preoccupied to really care where her body was going.

She only stopped when she felt her foot collide with something solid on the ground, breaking out of her daze; she looked down and saw that it was a small bundle, already covered in a dusting of snow. She brushed it off and opened the bundle. Within it was a set of clothes and a long knife. She picked up the knife; examining as well as she could in the dim light of the stars and moon above her. It was beautiful in design. Its steel was tempered, and on it were carved patterns leading up to a pommel wrapped in relatively fresh and dark leather. She grasped the pommel in her right hand, feeling the leather mold perfectly to her grip. The weight of the knife was balanced in her hand, and she could feel its power coursing through her veins.

She continued to hold the knife in her right hand, while tucking the rest of the bundle up underneath her left armpit. She felt slightly guilty about taking something that she knew wasn't hers, but yet again, it had just been left outside in the snow. She decided that if someone came looking for it, she would give it back, but only then. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a small alleyway leading away from the main street that she was on. The alley was dark, and she felt a flash of fear and apprehension, but she pushed it away as the growing feeling of curiosity overwhelmed her.

She moved forward, letting her feet guide her through its twists and turns. She slipped between houses, tents, and workplaces; they were all dark and quiet. When she reached the end of the small alley, she found herself looking at the edge of the forest. Right before it started there was a small ring, filled with sand. She drew closer, until she had all but entered the small ring. Something about it felt special, and it buzzed with a sort of quiet energy that she had not felt since the meadow. The memory of the meadow brought back the previously shoved away thoughts about her friends, and she felt a rage start to build within her, sending a red fire through her blood stream and into her brain, pushing away the haziness that the beauty of the snow had brought upon her.

She could feel the Spirit within her struggling to be released, and after a moments hesitation, she let it. She let it fill her, making her senses heighten and her body brim with awareness. She dropped the bundle on the ground and began to move around the arena, her body twirling in an intricate dance with the knife cutting out harsh patterns in the air in front of her. The Spirit continued to fight and rise within her, pushing Clarke out of the way, and replacing her with its own quiet power. Clarke allowed the Spirit to fill her, and let her own consciousness slip away, giving into Spirit within her. It filled her strength and purpose, ridding her of the pains of past memories, and the fear of what was to come.

 _Lexa's POV_

It was after the sun's first rays had poked their heads weakly through the linens that blocked the open windows of her room, that Lexa finally opened her eyes and accepted the feeling of being awake. She lay in her bed, thinking about Clarke. The girl slept for three days, and Lexa knew that she should make the arrangements permanent for her stay. She had transferred Clarke to her own room, which was at the end of the circular hall that wrapped itself around the great building. As much as Lexa secretly craved to hold Clarke as she slept, she knew what was expected of her as Commander, and relinquished her _Seelehalb_ to a separate room away from her.

It was the morning of the fourth day, Clarke should be awake by now, she told herself, but that is same phrase she had used to reassure herself for the last half-week. She sighed, wondering when she had let that frustratingly beautiful, blonde-haired angel worm herself so deep into Lexa's heart. She swung herself out of bed, donned some of her more simple winter clothing and exited her room, he feet obediently tracing the marbled floors down the hallway to Clarke's room. She soon found herself facing a dark, wooden door. She caught her breath and reached out a slim hand to grasp the bronze handle. It turned easily under her hand, and when it opened, Lexa found herself looking into the empty chambers of her guest room.

Without any hesitation, she barged forward into the room, her eyes searching for any sign of her _Seelehalb_. She found none, save the tousled furs on the large bed in the middle of the circular room. She growled in frustration. This girl was a mystery to her, and Lexa felt the sharp sting of failure bite at her. How could she have lost a girl who suffered from a mild concussion and moderate blood loss, weren't her guards skilled enough to catch an untrained and weary sky-person. She snorted at this, a red feeling of anger coursing through her veins.

She left the room with a scowl on her face, and a bitter coldness in her eyes. She entered the elevator and pressed the button going to "Ground Floor." It was a several minute ride, and although the floor was clear of blood, she could smell its tang on the air. When the elevator finally stopped and the doors swung open with a ding, she stormed out of the building, looking for the nearest guard on duty.

She could not find any, and although that brought feelings of surprise and worry to her attention, she was mostly just angered even more by this. She stalked down the main road, making sure to keep her head high, her back straight, and her face clean of all emotions. She only hoped she could say the same for her eyes, Anya had always said they were the key to her soul. The memory of Anya only pained her more, and she sped up her pace slightly. As she walked farther, she began to feel the presence of a large group of people. It was a feeling she had developed in warrior training, and it had kept her safe and informed more times than she could count. She cut through a small alley on the side, seeing the number of footprints that echoed in the building layer of snow on the ground.

Snow. It was the first snow of the season. This was always a special time for her people, but Lexa had been so preoccupied she had not stopped to realize the change in weather. She pushed that thought away, placing priority on the path of the footsteps and her fears for Clarke.

The alley twisted and turned but eventually Lexa reached its end. She looked out upon the edge of the forest, it green fir trees standing tall and reaching high into the sky. On the ground in front of the forest was a small training pit that the children usually plan in before they are called for training. There were hundreds of people standing around the pit, which unfortunately blocked Lexa's view of what they were all watching.

She moved forward, her people stopping and turning to look at her with something akin to awe and fear on their faces before moving respectfully out of her way and lowering their heads in passing. She eventually reached the edge of the clearing and stood behind the old wooden fence that stood guard around it. But the real spectacle was within the clearing itself. A girl whirled through it, her feet dancing upon the snowy sand below her. Her body twisting itself in series of complex moves that looked beautiful to the eye, but which Lexa and her warriors knew to be complex battle moves. There was a knife in the girls hand and it moved as if an extension of her body, completely in sync with the rest of her motions. It was only when Lexa caught a flash of gold did her heart sink within her stomach, and her breathing stop all together. The girl was Clarke. She was still dressed in her nightclothes, and steam rolled off her body into the cold air, pausing to play with the snowflakes before disappearing into the morning light.

She did not know where the girl had learned to move like that. It was impossible for her to have learned it since she had been with Lexa, for Lexa had observed her and seen nothing like this before from the other girl. Her footsteps were slow and loud, her body unreceptive to the intricate dance of battle. But here, here she was a contradiction to everything that Lexa had thought before. She knew the girl was fast and strong while she was in her wolf form, but she had never witnessed something like this before. She paused at that thought – wolf form… the Spirit. What she was seeing was Clarke's Spirit training her pupil in the art of fighting. While she was still amazed, it lessened the amount of curiosity she had been feeling and she allowed herself the pleasure of simply watching Clarke twirl around.

Her eyes were closed and her mouth shut firmly in a line of fierce concentration, sweat glistened off her body, and her muscles flexed and bulged against the pale ivory skin. Her feet were bare, and her hair was still in the braids that Lexa had put into her hair three nights ago, although they were covered in a dusting of white flakes. Lexa wondered how long Clarke had been out here, and she knew that even with the Spirit guiding her, Clarke was still to weak to be out here for long. She stepped into the clearing and drew her sword, when Clarke's dancing movement brought her knife close to Lexa's face, she swung her sword and parried the blow, causing tremors to shoot up her arms. The blonde paused and a shiver ran through her. Seconds later her knife clattered to the ground and the blue eyes opened. They penetrated through Lexa's mask, leaving her feeling exposed and vulnerable. She stood there enraptured by the intensity, sadness, determination, and hope that flickered throughout those azure eyes.

She was only jolted from her trance when Clarke's husky voice sounded quietly throughout the hearing. It commanded the attention of all who were watching her. "I have been with the Spirit," she says, pausing before continuing again. "The mountain is ready to fall. I must speak with your commander." Her voice is full of broken passion and hopeful promise, and it pains Lexa to think about what must come next, how she must reveal her identity to this enigma of a woman. Lexa knows that her people turn their heads to look at her, she can feel the burn of the half-hidden hope within their eyes, and knows what she must do.

"Then speak, Clarke, _Prisa kom Skaikru_ , you have my attention."


	13. Chapter 13

_Lexa's POV_

The emotion flashed across the blonde's eyes, giving Lexa barely enough time to recognize that it was there at all, let alone know what it was. But, she saw Clarke stiffen in front of her, her spine straightening and the muscles in her neck clenching. Her fingers tightened around her knife, unsure of what the girl in front of her would do. There was an awkward moment of silence, with the tension between them thick and palpable. Clarke's blue eyes never strayed from hers, but the usual warmth that was kindled there had gone out, leaving behind a cold and empty hearth in its stead. Lexa could feel her body freezing under the blonde's icy stare, but her pride would not allow her to lower her gaze or to speak another word.

Finally, Clarke opened her mouth, and what came out of it next hit Lexa like a kick straight to the stomach. "So the great Commander had decided to grace me with her presence." It was not a question but a statement. The words were sneered although the girl's face remained firmly impassive. Again, Lexa refrained from speaking, telling herself it was because of her pride, but in reality she did not know if she trusted herself to speak. She felt the harsh clutches of loneliness grasp and reach for her heart, squeezing it none to gently before resuming its customary spot and crushing her chest like a ton of bricks.

Nevertheless, Lexa flicked her eyes downward once as a sign of acknowledgement. A moment more passed before Clarke decided to speak again, and when she did her voice was filled with disdain. "The mountain is ready to fall. They hide like cowards in the darkness. Fearful, waiting like trapped animals." She pauses and looked back at Lexa, "Now, doesn't that sound familiar," she scoffs.

Lexa can feel herself prickling; her grip on the sword by her side tightened visibly, and the people closest to them gasp in understanding at the blonde's words. "You have been battling against the mountain for 97 years, and have been unsuccessful. With me you will have success, with me you will have justice." Lexa could hear the whispers beginning, eyes opening it awe at the audacity of the blonde. She narrowed her eyes, hoping to draw Clarke's attention back to her, instead of her people. Clarke was smart, playing the people to get the answer she wanted from Lexa.

"And what makes you think you can accomplish this," Lexa asked, trying desperately to keep her voice level and her head held high. "You have no army, no weapons, no skills for surviving. You can not take the mountain."

"Who are you to know what I can, and cannot do?" She said angrily to Lexa, before lifting her eyes and shifting her posture towards the growing crowd. "The Spirit lives inside of me. We fight to reclaim my people," and she turns back to Lexa, "But not everyone in that mountain is my people, are they, Commander?" Lexa watches as a slight smirk twitches impatiently at the corner of Clarke's mouth, it looks grotesque and frightening, utterly wrong. But still she remains silent, waiting for Clarke's next words to come out.

But there is nothing, she looks to the girl in front of her. Clarke's mask is gone; instead there is a blank look on her face, her eyes filled with confusion in horror. Lexa's worry peaks when the blonde drops to her knees in the sand pit. Clarke's mouth opens and closes, but her mind is still lost, far away from reality. It is the same look that Clarke had coming out of her waking trance in the fighting arena, and Lexa realizes it is the look of Clarke speaking with Spirit. A low keening wail comes from the blonde's mouth before the words come tumbling out. They are words that Lexa will remember until the day she dies. "Of fire and blood will be the death to all." And with that, the blonde keeled over onto her side in a dead faint.

 _Clarke's POV_

When she woke she was laying on the same bed she had woken from earlier, whether it had been that day or the past, she was not sure. She could feel the weak winter light playing across the planes of her face and she opened her eyes. The room looked exactly as it had from before, except the shadows stretching across the circular room were shorter than they had been in the darkness of the night. She pulled the furs off of her body before rising out of bed. She felt beaten, her muscles burning and a deep ache in her bones. She groaned in protest as her body moved across the room, the tile slightly warmer against her feet from the sun's rays, although they were still dim from the heavy curtains that blocked the windows.

She moved to the curtains, her sense of curiosity pushing her to find out what lay beyond them. Pulling them back, she was stunned to find herself looking at what could only be described as a 'winter wonderland.' All of polis was covered in a blank of white perfection, and far below she could see people walking along the roads. Her window was high up, and as she stood from the balcony, she could just barely see the outskirts of the city. The window was lacking glass, and she could see why the heavy curtains had been added. The cold, blustery air toyed with her hair and left frosted crystals on her clothing, which she noticed had not been changed. She was still wearing the same long tunic-shirt, with small shorts on underneath, and the rest of her flesh was speckled with goose bumps.

She puffed out breaths of air as she gazed awestruck at the sight in front of her, although slowly her smile faltered as she started to remember the events that had happened before her sleep. She remembered being startled out of her trance by Lexa, she stopped, the name burned into her leaving her feeling angry and sad. ' _She betrayed me,_ ' Clarke thought to herself, _'I trusted her too much, without even knowing who she was. She lied to me! Saying that only the Commander could decide to help, but she is the Commander. She let my people be taken without any fuss!'_ Clarke growled at the thought. It was primal and ripped from her body, bringing with it feelings of long repressed rage. She was angry. Angry with Lexa, angry with her mother for killing her father, angry at the mountain men, but mostly, she was furious with herself.

She was alone, without her people, and she gulped between allowing herself to think her final thought, alone without Lexa. She had grown to enjoy the company of the brunette, her calm presence and emotion-filled, green eyes. It was unfair, Clarke thought, to have trusted to easily, to have felt something so right, only to have it ripped away again. She sighed, it seemed she was fated to lose everyone she cared for. The Spirit within her chided her gently, reminding her that Lexa was still her Seelehalb, whether she liked it or not. ' _Think, Child,'_ the familiar voice sounded in her head, and Clarke sighed, rolling her eyes, knowing she was in for another round of rebuking. _'Lexa is your Seelehalb, Heda or not, she is still the same person, the same Lexa you care for. Is it truly beyond you to see why she did not tell you earlier? Can you think of a reason she would abstain from granting you this knowledge?'_ Clarke thought hard, and felt the Spirit leave her mind, its mission completed.

The more Clarke thought, the more she began to understand. She was not happy, but she no longer felt blindly ignorant of Lexa's plight. She obviously felt a lot of pressure from her people to make the right choices for them. To escape was a rare luxury, and it was one that Clarke had offered willingly without questions. To Clarke, Lexa could be Lexa, not the Commander, and with grudging acceptance, Clarke realized that Lexa deserved as much, although part of her rebelled against that thought, still to hurt from betrayal to accept logic.

Her fingers began to trace lines onto the snow on the top of the bannister of the balcony. She removed her fingers when they became blue with cold and retreated inside to the relative warmth, pulling the curtains shut behind her. She walked to the table, grabbing her sketchbook and a charcoal pencil. She returned back to the bed, pulling the warm furs on top of her, trying to escape the chill that had permeated under skin. With the sketchbook and pencil in hand she began to draw.

The lines erupted onto the paper, sketching the hard face of the Commander, dressed in her ceremonial garb, with the full pauldron and red sash that hung from her right side. The sharp lines of her sword came next; followed by the soft, snow covered edges of the ground. The image was finished, but it was not complete. With fresh fervor, she returned to her drawing, adding in minute details until it was perfect. With a satisfied sight she leaned back onto the headboard of her bed, feeling the hard wood support her tired frame.

She looked down at the black and white image before her. It was the Commander, in full regalia, but in her eyes there was something different, someone different, Lexa. A mix of both, with Lexa hiding on the inside, trapped down by the heavy mask of the Commander. With a smile of satisfaction, she felt her eyes close with weariness and her breathing slow. Within moments she had drifted off to sleep.

When she awoke for the second time that day, it was dark, the only light in the room provided by the many candles lit around the room. She noticed the sketchbook was not on her lap and she frowned slightly, lifting her gaze to look around the room. That was when she noticed a hunched shadow in one of the more comfortable chairs near the far edge of the room. Rustling noises, like the sound of pages being turned, reached Clarke's ears and she sat up in bed. The noises disappeared and slowly the shadow rose and began to approach the bed. As it drew closer, Clarke noticed more details, the color of her hair, and the shade of her eyes. It was Lexa.

Lexa… holding her sketchbook. "It's not polite to steal, you know," Clarke admonished.

"You are talented, Klark, I have only been admiring," Clarke smirked at Lexa's reply, but kept her reply on the colder side.

"Pretty words will not melt my heart, Commander." Lexa met her eyes at this, something akin to sorrow settling in the deep green depths. She nodded her head, her shoulders looked heavy and crestfallen.

"I will go, I did not wish to disturb your rest, Skai Prisa." She made to leave, when Clarke stopped her.

"Did you see the last drawing?" Lexa paused, before turning back to face Clarke, and nodded her head once. "Sometimes there can be two things hidden in one," Clarke continued her eyes gazing into Lexa's, "Neither can fully dominate, while the other survives." She paused here, letting her message seep into Lexa's ears. The other girl's green eyes had widened almost comically.

"Be careful which one you choose to let overpower you, Commander." Lexa takes a small step towards the bed.

"Lexa," a quiet voice whispers into the night's silence. This time, it is Clarke's turn to nod.

"I know why you did it. It does not mean that I liked it, but I understand why." Clarke says to her, her voice growing soft.

"How?" The other girl asks, her voice quavering slightly.

"Your eyes, Lexa, they hold the very depths of your soul."

 _Lexa's POV_

She stood dumbfounded at Clarke's admission. She had fought all her life to master her emotions, and provide a blank marble canvas that could not be broken. But here she was, standing in front of a girl she barely knew, feeling violently exposed. The blue eyes that held her were soft and comforting, miles away from the hardened, stormy orbs they had been last sunrise. She drifted out of focus, losing herself to the feeling of being vulnerable, so much so that she jumped when she felt arms wrapping around her waist. She snapped back into the present, seeing Clarke's worried face floating in front of hers.

The loneliness and hopelessness that had claimed her heart lay abandoned, their power diminishing as Lexa gazed longingly into Clarke's blue orbs. She felt free, liberated from the hold of the Commander, and without hesitation she grabbed the blonde's face with two hands and pulled her mouth up to meet hers.

It was rough and needy, and Lexa poured all of her unspoken emotions into it. With every bruising movement came Lexa's guilt, her loneliness, and her desperation for love. She knew she would leave Clarke's lips purple, her pale skin flushed in the candle light, and a primal part of her relished in the thought. She wanted to mark Clarke, to make the other girl hers for this life and the next. Clarke was her _Seelehalb_ , the other half of her soul, and Lexa would be damned if she let her escape.

Lexa panicked slightly when her lips lost connection with those of the blonde, leaving her gasping for air, and the weight of vulnerability and hopeless love settling back upon her chest. She hung her head downward, ashamed of her actions. She had taken advantage of Clarke, not waiting for permission, especially when the girl was already upset with her. She felt cool finger graze under her chin, lifting up her head to meet Clarke's blue eyes. There she saw her own emotions reflected in those azure orbs, except with them came confusion and a slight flash of caution.

"I understand, Klark, I apologize for my actions. _Reshop (Goodnight)_." Lexa nodded her head and tried to move out from under the captivating gaze of the blonde. She was pulled back by a light handing reaching out to grasp her own, feeling cold fingers weave their way through her stiff ones.

"No, Lexa, I want this…I'm just not ready, not tonight." Her words were caring and slow; as if she was scared of the reaction she would get after saying them.

Lexa nodded her head, feeling dejected and lonely once more, unworthy of love. She tried to pull away from Clarke's grasp but felt her fingers tighten around her own. Then she heard a quiet voice, broken in the dim of room. It was weak, completely different from the person who spoke, "Will you stay with me tonight, I don't want to be alone."

Lexa turned to look back at Clarke, seeing the long-hidden fear within in her eyes. Her posture was one of defeat and vulnerability. She was obviously expecting Lexa to reject her offer, but the look on her face when Lexa pulled Clarke into her and whispered her response made Lexa's regret over the blonde's former rejection dissipate quickly.

She then lead them back to the bed, stripping off her outer wear before climbing into bed and holding the covers up for Clarke to crawl in as well. The other girl slithered in beside Lexa, and Lexa could feel the chill of the other girl's body next to hers. She wrapped her arms around the blonde, pulling her closer to her body and nuzzled her head into the crook of Clarke's neck. The other girl froze, but quickly unwound and allowed herself to sink into the comfort of Lexa's embrace. Lexa could hear the pace of Clarke's breathing slow and she knew the other girl was asleep. She allowed herself several moments to watch the beauty in her arms sleep in relative peace, free from the night terrors that plagued her.

It was the image of blonde angel that rested on her eyelids as Lexa faded into sleep, holding Clarke tightly against her. She woke to a harsh slap on the face and muffled screams. The girl she was holding in her arms was fighting violently against her. She was screaming and crying, her breathing coming in sharp gasps, when it came at all. Lexa was still reeling from the blow but she quickly processed the situation and made to straddle Clarke's hips, holding her arms down and shaking the other girl. Finally she saw the blonde's blue eyes fly open, filled with panic and flitting side to side as if assessing her surroundings for danger. Her breath caught in her chest and her pale, sweat covered skin grew blue. "Breathe, Clarke! In, out, in, out. There you go. Come one, Clarke! Don't give up on me!" Finally the other girl's breathing evened out and she collapsed tiredly onto the bed, her body giving up its fight against Lexa's hold.

Finally Clarke spoke, her voice hoarse and cracking, tears streaming down her cheeks. "They were all dead, Lex, burned beyond recognition. All my fault." She gasped after she said this. "There were children! I killed children!" She broke down into fresh sobs.

Lexa removed her hold and pulled Clarke into hugging position, letting the girl rest her head against Lexa's shoulder. "It was just a dream, Klark, nothing more. You are no killer, everything is fine." She stroked the soft, blonde hair, and briefly wondered if Clarke would allow her to braid it. She was pulled away from her thoughts by Clarke's response.

"I killed you Lexa." Lexa stiffened at this, waiting for the blonde to say more. "You lay on a bed of white furs, but the longer you lay there, the blacker they became. Too much blood, and there was nothing I could do."

Lexa relaxed at this, pulling Clarke closer to her, "My spirit lives right here, Klark, she will not be parted from you that easily." The words left her mouth without conscious thought and she quickly wished she could take them back. She knew they were the truth, but she was not sure either she or the blonde was really willing to accept it.

"Everyone I love dies, Lexa. That's what my dreams tell me. I fight harder and harder, but there is nothing I can do except watch them die over and over again." Clarke froze after saying this, the air filled with thick tension and fear. Lexa looked down at her in awe, her mind working a mile a minute, running figure eights trying to correctly analyze what the girl in her arms had just admitted to her.

Clarke loved her, or at least cared for her. This realization hit her hard and she felt joy spread throughout her body, leaving her warm and tingly. In her own shock, she had not realized that Clarke had tried to pull out of her grasp and was visibly squirming in discomfort. "I care for you too, Klark. Probably more than I should," she desperately tried to assure the blonde, and was rewarded when the girl stopped struggling.

Both girls felt emotionally raw and vulnerable. The silence was no longer tense, but it was slightly awkward, leaving Lexa feeling like she should say something else to mitigate it, which was unusual for her. Clarke cleared her throat, pulling back to look Lexa right in the eyes, blue meeting green, both glassy and tear-stained. "That's good, because the Spirit says you're stuck with me." The blonde attempted humor and Lexa cracked a small smile in response, the awkwardness leaving quickly. Soon both girls lay back on the bed and adjusted the furs to cover them once more, being even more exhausted than before from their emotional parley. It wasn't long before they fell into a deep sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, with small smiles gracing their tired faces.

 _Clarke's POV_

It felt so good to be held, to be cared for, and Clarke almost forgot where she was to simply savor the feeling of being wrapped in the warmth of another. She felt the other girl stir, her arms tightening around Clarke's body, pulling her in closer. There was a sleepy sigh from Lexa, and its warmth breezed onto the exposed skin of Clarke's neck, making her moan slightly from the utter bliss of the situation. A dry, humor-filled voice sounded, and made Clarke shoot upwards out of Lexa's arms to stare at the intruder. "While I'm sure this is quite lovely, it's time for Lexa to get out of bed and attend her duties." Clarke stared at her in blatant shock, unable to respond or move. She watched the woman in front of her move to Lexa's side of the bed and wrench off the covers, unveiling Lexa's partially covered body. Clarke felt a red mist come over her and her wolf spirit stirred. This was her _Seelehalb_ , her future mate. This blonde woman had no right to be so familiar with her. A primal growl ripped out of her throat, and she moved to cover Lexa's waking body with her own.

Clarke could feel herself fading into the background, being replaced by the feeling of her Spirit, a more primal and animalistic version of herself. She knew that she was still hurt by Lexa, even though she recognized the validity of the other girl's actions, so why she was acting this protective of a girl she barely knew surprised her. She guessed that it was her Spirit's bond with Lexa's, formed by the wolf inside of her, that prompted this behavior, and since Clarke could not seem to fight it off, and truthfully she didn't really want to, she let it consume her.

She was brought back to reality by a snarky scoff and the feeling of hands on her shoulders pushing her off of Lexa's body. "What makes you think you're so special? You're just a common whore gracing _Heda's_ bedroom for a night. Now, get out." She shoved harder on Clarke's body, but it was to no avail, the blonde would not budge.

Clarke felt snarls build up in her chest, her anger flowing freely through her pounding blood. Her Spirit had fully taken command and she opened her mouth, revealing her growing canines to warn off the woman before her. She felt the change coming this time. It started in her muscles, making them feel like she was on fire, pushing, pulling, and expanding in every direction. Her bones popped and pure, white fur grew over her body. She lay in a protective stance over Lexa, who by now had fully woken. _"She is mine,"_ she threatened into the head of the blonde woman in front of her.

The woman had stood her ground, although her facial expression of disdain had been replaced by own of fear and awe. " _Gekozen, (chosen one)"_ she heard the woman whisper and understanding flitted through her eyes. She felt the woman's dark eyes prowl along her massive body, stopping with a small gasp as they toured the detailed black markings on her back.

She was wrenched away from studying the blonde woman in front of her when she felt Lexa squirm underneath her. "Clarke, let me up. She won't hurt me, it's just Onya."

The wolf's head snapped to look at her, hurt filling its large blue eyes. Clarke felt her old feelings of hurt and betrayal resurface and a sudden hate filled her for the blonde woman, and for Lexa. She released Lexa and with a growl, jumped off the bed and stalked out of the room. She felt two pairs of eyes burn marks into her as they watched her leave. The wolf inside of her, where her Spirit resided, was filled with rage; angry with her chosen mate for deserting her, and angry at the blonde devil who had stolen her away. She let her paws lead her down the stairs, taking them with great ease. She needed to go outside and the wolf inside of her would not let anyone prevent that; they needed to escape.

It was seconds later that Clarke barged out of the stairwell and into the lobby, pushing past the guards with a murderous blue glare and a baring of her several inch long canines. It was cold outside, the snow coming down thickly, and she breathed in the fresh air. _"Hainofa, meet me on the edge of the Great Wood,"_ she growled into her mind, and felt another mind brush with hers in response. She raced through the town, leaving large paw prints in the fresh snow layering the streets.

She paid no mind the gathering crowds that watched her race through the streets, although, they wisely kept their distance. She retraced her footsteps from last morning to the sand pit where she had trained with Her Spirit. She stopped when the got to the edge of the wood and let out a keening howl. It was loud and piercing, a message of loss, anger, and desperation.

 _Lexa's POV_

She awoke to a body on top of hers and the events from last night flooded into her mind; Clarke, the kiss, and sleeping together in the same bed for the night. Her eyes remained closed but she listened with her ears, hearing a familiar voice. ' _Onya!'_ She thought. She heard her friend insult Clarke, calling her a common whore and Lexa almost groaned at her general's stupidity. She finally wrenched her eyes open when she felt the body on top of her start to twitch, muffled groans coming out its mouth. What greeted her was a view of pure white fur; Clarke had switched to wolf form she realized and her stomach dropped. Clarke only switched in moments of duress, where her more primal Spirit took control. She seriously feared for Anya's safety, and after hearing the wolf go silent, she knew she had to try to regain some control over the escalating situation. "Clarke, let me up, she won't hurt me, it's just Onya," she said, trying desperately to pacify the great wolf on top of her.

Its large head snaps around to look at her, the all to recognizable emotions of anger, hurt and betrayal contorting its deadly face. Lexa's eyes widened slightly in fear and regret, and moments later she felt the weight of the wolf leave her. She sighed lightly in frustration as she watched Clarke pace out of the room, her claws clicking against the tiled floor.

"You have _Gekozen_ ," She heard Anya say; stating a fact instead of the question that danced impatiently on her tongue.

"Her name is Clarke. She came from the Great Flame, and was chosen by the Spirit shortly after." She paused after the slight introduction, feeling her friend's impatience for her to continue. "Her people were taken by the _Maunon_ and I decided to take her back to Polis to seek council and help from the Commander." She hears Anya snort at that.

"Lies are never a strong foundation for any relationship, Lexa," she scoffed at the younger girl, who still sat slouched in her bed.

"I was just Lexa with her, forgive me for wanting to keep that for as long as possible." Lexa stiffens as she says this, the familiar feeling of loneliness once again taking hold over her. "She found out yesterday, needless to say she is still angry at me."

"I can see that," Anya replied stoically, keeping her face blank. "However, I do not think that anger had diminished anything she might feel for you, Lexa. She was very protective of you this morning," she stated hesitantly, as if searching for the proper words to explain Clarke's behavior that morning.

"Her Spirit is connected with mine. When she is in wolf form she is much more primal, letting into her natural instincts instead of fighting against them like she does in her human form. She probably felt threatened by you," Lexa sighs out.

The blonde warrior in front of her raised an eyebrow at her former second, "You don't sa-" but she was cut off by a keening wolf song that floated on the wind, bringing it directly to the two women's ears. Two pairs of eyes, one pair amber, the other green, widened and stared at each other.

 _Clarke's POV_

She felt another presence drawing closer to her, and she sniffed the air tentatively, smelling the familiar scent of her wolf brother. She heard a throaty huff behind her, resembling a chuckle, and she whipped around to see the large black and brown body of Hainofa behind her. _"Hainofi (princess), you called,"_ he said teasingly to her. She huffed back at him, her hackles lowering and her anger from earlier diminishing.

" _She doesn't want me as her mate. She was far too comfortable with that other woman,"_ she says, starting off in a weak, pitiful voice, and ending in a snarl.

Hainofa raised an eyebrow at her, _"Is somebody jealous?"_ She looked incredulously at him. _"If you want her, sister, you need to mark her, show everyone that she is your intended mate."_ He laughed at her gently, his onyx eyes filled with tender love. She looked doubtfully at him and let out a sigh, releasing a puff of breath into the frosted air.

" _Let us speak of this no more, we hunt!"_ And she raced off into the welcoming depths of the forest, hearing Hainofa quickly catch up behind her. She felt the joy of the chase rush through her, pounding through her heart and sending a fiery current through her veins. She craved blood, she wanted a successful hunt, so she followed her nose and took off on the closest prey trail she found.

By midday, both her and Hainofa were laying in a small clearing, their fur matted with fresh blood and their bellies protruding. She heard Hainofa let out a loud, wolfy burp and she laughed at him in sharp barks, until her own stomach began to cramp and she stopped, whimpering slightly. It was then his turn to laugh at her, and she let herself sink into the feeling of being loved, of being part of a family where she belonged. She felt thoughts of Lexa trying to disturb her momentary bliss, and she pushed them away to enjoy the moment for just a second longer. She shuffled closer to Hainofa and burrowed her face into his side, tickling him with her nose.

" _You should return, Hainofi,"_ he said quietly to her, but didn't bother to move away from her and rise to his feet.

Clarke responded tiredly to him, her voice full of slight hope and mild fear. _"Will you come back with me? I don't want to be alone with her."_ She was scared he would reject her offer, and in the silence that followed, she extracted herself from their cuddling position in preparation for his response.

" _Of course, sister."_ They made their way through the forest in comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to speak, both lost in their own thoughts. They reached the sand pit after several hours, and the sun was now low in the sky, casting an orange hue on the sky. Both were coated in blood, although it was now dry, and Clarke realized that the city occupants would feel more fear in her presence, especially with Hainofa by her side. These thoughts dissipated as the felt Hainofa's amazement at the city as it grew before them as they neared its center.

" _We will explore it together, and find peace for our pack from Maunon and the Tribes,"_ she told him softly, feeling his slight flash of pain at remembering the deaths of pack members at the hands of humans. He looked at her briefly and smiled, his tongue lolling out of his mouth in his traditional 'Hainofa' look. She rolled her eyes at him and the continued their journey. They grew closer to the tall building where she had been staying, when she smelt fresh blood and heard muffled screams. Both wolves' ears perked to attention, and suddenly Clarke felt the blood drain from her face and her heart pound in anger when she recognized the screaming voice.

She raced in the direction of the smell of blood, a worried Hainofa at her heels. She barged into the house where the screams were coming from and saw a large man with his fist raised, holding a small, broken child by the throat. He was yelling in a language that Clarke did not understand, but the intent was clear enough. She lunged towards the man, bowling him over and biting his arm, forcing him to release the child, whose throat was bruised purple and black. The man fought against her, and the red mist clouded her vision, making her hungry for blood and vengeance once more. He grabbed her fur and brought a knife out, trying to stick it in her, managing to leave a deep gash on her forearm. In rising desperation, she clamped her jaws around his throat, feeling his life source pump out, soaking her in the deep red of justice.

After his struggles ended, she turned around to the child, who was being gently looked over by Hainofa. It was Mari, the boy from the other night. He recognized her and flung himself at her, broken sobs coming out of his mouth. She noticed he was soaked in blood; deep cuts and bruises covering his tanned skin. His elbow and shoulder were twisted badly out of place, and Clarke felt the rage resurface within her. She looked at Hainofa, seeing shock and matching anger in his gaze. His mind touched hers, _"His mother is dead in the other room. I can smell her. What kind of man does this to his pack?"_ He questioned, disgust rolling off of him in waves.

" _No man at all,"_ she replied, _"Just a monster."_ It was then that she realized that Mari had slumped to the ground in a dead faint, his clutch on her fur weakening. She scooped him up and placed him on her back.

" _What are you going to do, sister?"_ Hainofa asked her, his brows furrowing.

" _I'm going to take care of him."_ She replied, a tired strength lining her voice, as she left the darkness of the house, Hainofa pausing to linger before following her out. By this point, many people had gathered outside of the house, hearing the sounds of the fight. Many gasped as they saw the wolves and child exit the house, all three of them coated in fresh blood. They cleared a path for them, none having enough courage to stop the procession that made its way towards the skyscraper in the center of Polis.

When she entered the building she saw Lexa and the blonde woman, Anya, she remembered, standing next to the elevator talking hurriedly to a guard. A thick silence covered the room as they entered, and when Lexa took a small step towards her she growled. The brunette froze in place, too shocked to stop Clarke and Hainofa from brushing past her and beginning the long climb up the stairs.

When they reached the top, Clarke led them into her rooms, nosing the door open, careful not to disturb the small child on her back. She lowered Mari onto the bed and quickly jumped up after him, followed by Hainofa, who had closed the door behind them. She nosed the small, dark brown locks off of his sweaty, blood covered forehead and then began to lick him, clearing away the tears and blood from his face.

She was not all too unsurprised when she shifted back into human form, which allowed her to grab a small bucket of water from washroom attached to her room, and bring it back to clean her and Mari's wounds. She stripped off his dirty clothes, and used the rag to clean his soft skin. She grabbed her small pack, rooting around for the med kit that she carried with her, relief settling in her when she pulled the suture kit out from within its depths. She sat beside the boy, and stitched his wounds closed, while Hainofa lay beside him in morale support. She set his shoulder and elbow quickly, using the last of her bandages to form a sling. She then took a large tunic shirt and clothed Mari in it, before tucking him under the furs of the bed.

She motioned to Hainofa and with reluctance he dragged himself away from the boy and joined his sister on the floor. "We should clean up," she said out loud, already having started the motions of wiping away the blood from her own body. When she was finished, she used the rest of the water to clean Hainofa, and left him to lick the rest of it off, while she found fresh clothes to change into. She used the remaining suturing materials to sew her own cut together, grinding her teeth together to prevent the screams from slipping through her lips. The pain was white hot but she fought through it, tears leaking out of her eyes in silent streams by the time she was done. She ripped a strip of cloth off of the bottom of the tunic she was wearing, and wrapped it around her upper right arm, across her bicep. She crawled into bed, wrapping her body around that of the small boy, and saw Hainofa curl up on his other side.

She felt a fierce sense of loyalty and familial love, and vowed that she would not allow for any more of her people to be hurt again, and that would start with rescuing her people from Mount Weather. Her brain shut off as a fresh wave of exhaustion set in, lulling her into the blank darkness that sleep offered.

 _Lexa's POV_

It had been a full day since Clarke had stalked out of her room earlier that morning. She had barely been able to focus during her sparing with Anya, and later in the meetings with ambassadors surrounding the annual winter festival. All her thoughts were centered around the blond, blue-eyed beauty that had stumbled into Lexa's life, and throughout the day she found herself being on the receiving end of well hidden eye rolls and exasperated looks from Anya as she fought to remain on her throne and listen to the petty squabbles of the ambassadors in front of her. Eventually, she ordered them all to leave, massaging her temples with her left hand, while her right played with the hilt of her dagger. She could not longer drag her wandering mind away from her thoughts on Clarke, and it was no use attempting to focus when she would be of no help.

"What if she ran away, Anya?" She asked weakly to the warrior, her usually strong voice shaking.

"She would not desert you, Lexa. Trust me, you did not hear her threats this morning." The older woman looked sharply at Lexa, her features softening gently as they saw the guilt and worry on her previous second's face. "She will come back when she is ready."

Lexa was about to respond when a messenger barged into the room, bowing slightly before speaking with obvious fear in his voice. " _Gekozen_ and another have killed a man and taken small boy from a house in the village, they are nearing here as we speak, _Heda_." Lexa looked mildly shocked, before schooling her features into a stoic mask.

"Come, Onya," she said hurriedly before rushing out of the room. After a several minute long elevator ride full of tense silence, worry, and palpable fear, they entered the lobby, where Lexa quickly motioned to a guard, who affirmed the messenger's words. It was then that she heard the clicking of claws on tiled floors and smelt fresh blood upon the air. She turned to see two very large wolves stalk into the lobby, the first one, whom she recognized as Clarke, was carrying a small child on her back. She opened her mouth to speak, taking a step forward, but was stopped when the white wolf snarled at her, showing her long, bloodied canines. It sent a cold wave of fear through Lexa. Never had Clarke acted like that to her before, and it only reaffirmed her fears surrounding the blonde's growing hatred towards her.

When the two wolves and disappeared up the staircase, she turned to a guard and said coldly, "Take me to the house." She followed the warrior through the streets towards where she and Clarke had come face to face with the villagers for the first time. She was lead to a throng of people, still gathered around the house, however they parted for her as she grew closer, sensing her raw fury and hurt.

She entered the house and was slammed by the thick smell of iron on the air, the wood floors soaked through and coated in drying coats of red blood. She saw the body of the man, and looked at the gaping hole where his throat had been. In his hand was a knife, covered with blood and several strands of long, white fur. Her rage grew, and she stepped around his body to analyze the rest of the house, feeling her heart grow heavy as she saw the abused body of a dead woman lying on the floor of house's single bedroom. She was covered in bruises and long cuts, the floor soaked with dried blood where she lay, and with a shocked gasp, she realized that the woman was the mother of the boy who had thrown the rock at Clark a little less than a week ago.

She returned to the body of the man, prying the knife from his stiff fingers and returning to the body of the woman. She matched the wounds on her body to the knife of the man, and realized that the man had done this to her, and probably to his son as well. She threw the knife against the wall, letting her anger slip through her stoic mask. She used her own dagger to cut a braid of her hair, knowing that the boy would want it when he came to.

After doing this, she swept out of the house, demanding the two bodies be burned tomorrow in a funeral pyre. It hurt her to think that someone capable of having a life where love was allowed, without constantly having to worry about it being ripped away from you, was taken advantage of and abused. Was _hodnes laik kwelnes_? Lexa didn't know; she didn't want to think about it, still feeling very confused by Clarke's actions. When she reached her floor, she stepped out of the elevator and moved towards Clarke's room instead of her own.

She opened the door quietly and saw three shapes lying on the large bed. She moved closer and saw that Clarke was gently spooning the small body of the boy close to her own, while the large black and brown wolf wrapped up the two of them. It was a comforting sight, but left Lexa feeling guilty for intruding on something so private and personal, something so loving. She wondered if she could ever have anything like that. She knew that engaging herself in that debate would leave her feeling lonelier than before, so she refused to respond to her own thoughtful question, preferring to simply gaze a moment longer before retreating back to her own rooms and falling into a deep sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

_Clarke's POV_

She woke to the feeling of a small body quivering next to her. She immediately shook all traces of sleep from her system and turned Mari over to face her, seeing his eyes rolling under his eyelids and the fresh sheen of sweat coating his brow, she knew he was having a nightmare. Clarke kissed the top of his head, sweeping delicate brushstrokes across his brow with her lips. "You're okay. You're safe," she murmured over and over again until he began to quiet. He crawled subconsciously closer to her, clinging to her body with his small hands, nuzzling his head into her chest. Looking at Mari cuddled close to her gave her feelings of intense protectiveness and she swore to never let this small boy go. With a small sigh, she realized that she would probably have to talk to Lexa to explain herself, ' _Won't that be just a fantastic conversation!'_ Clarke thought to herself wryly.

She looked across Mari's body to see the large body of Hainofa curled up on his other side, small strands of drool making their way down from his mouth onto the furs. She held back a laugh; this was so domestic, so normal, yet it was anything but. She knew she should rise and face the day, start creating plans to defeat the Maunon, or at least talking with Lexa about what had happened last night. But, her body defeated her mind and with a tired groan she let herself sink back into the warm depths of her bed, falling back into the comforting darkness of sleep, she hoped desperately for no dreams to plague her.

She felt eyes gazing at her, so she slowly opened her own and found herself looking into the dark brown eyes of the small boy in front of her. He had removed himself from the confines of her arms and sat looking down at her with fear in his eyes. She moved to sit up with him, her eyes questioning him in return, but she let out a small laugh when a large growl erupted from his stomach. His eyes widened and the fear intensified, so she instantly stopped laughing. "Mari, what's wrong, child? You're only hungry, and rightfully so. Let's go find some food." The fear was replaced with some of his usual happiness and a large amount of relief.

She kicked Hainofa who grunted and then raised his head to look blearily at her. "I'm going to get food, sleepy." She smiled when he shoved his head underneath the covers and then stood up to stretch, eliciting giggles from Mari. She looked down at him, surprised at the sound, and immediately his eyes filled with fear and watchfulness as he met her eyes, the small laughing sounds fading into nothing, drawing his lips into a thin line.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore, Mari. I will not hurt you, and nobody else will either as long as I am here." She saw his lip quiver and fresh tears fell down the sides of face, reddening his cheeks and causing small snuffling sounds to come from the barely closed lips. "Come here," she said gently kneeling down and opening her arms, wrapping him in a large hug when he allowed himself to come closer. She stroked the soft hair on his head, letting his body shake with sobs. It was several minutes before she snuffles quieted and the tears stopped falling. She picked up his small body, feeling the ache in her muscles and the strain on her previously stitched arm. However, she ignored them both and carried him back to bed, letting him cuddle with Hainofa for a minute or two while she left to go find food.

" _I'm going to find food. Will you stay here and watch him while I am gone? Don't let anyone else in."_ He nodded his head to answer her request, and she turned around to find some other clothes, eventually pulling out some skin-tight pants, lined with soft fur, and a light blue shirt. She pulled on her old jacket, and a pair of fur-lined shoes as well, that had taken her slightly longer to find. When she was finished dressing, she walked to the doorway before turning and speaking again, "I'll be back soon after I find something to feed all of us." And then, with a small smile, she left, closing the door gently behind her.

The hall was empty, so the meandered through it, looking desperately for someone she could ask to bring her food. Finally, she came upon a young girl, maybe ten years she thought. The girl's eyes widened almost comically at the sight of her, and her mouth dropped down to form an 'o.' Clarke lifted an eyebrow in response, she was still very new to being treated as some sort of divine creature. "I was wondering if I could have some food brought up to my room?" The girl nodded in fright, her head bobbing up and down several times more than necessary. Clarke remembered a word she had heard often and decided to test it out, " _Mochof_ , child." If possible, the girl's mouth widened even more before she turned tail and fled down the stairs.

Clarke sighed, hoping what she said hadn't offended the girl. She had been positive that it was some sort of appreciation, a thank you of sorts. She was shaken from her thoughts when she heard a low growl coming from the direction of her rooms. She ran back, winding her way through the hallway, and found Lexa outside of her rooms holding the door open. When Lexa heard her, her head snapped around to face her, leaving the sight of the wolf and boy in replacement for Clarke as she neared.

"Lexa, did you need something?" She kept her voice even, not betraying any source of emotion.

"We need to talk about what happened last night. I also will need to speak with the boy." Lexa replied, her voice edging on frosty.

"He's a child, Commander, a hurt and traumatized one at that. He doesn't need you torturing the information out of him." Clarke spat back, her anger rising dramatically.

"Unfortunately, that is not your choice to make, _Clarke kom Skaikru_ ," Lexa replied, her voice hard and her teeth gritted together, making the muscles in her jaw clench under her tanned skin. Clarke loved that she could read Lexa so easily, it made her seem more human somehow and she reveled in it.

Clarke was about to reply back, a harsh response poised on her tongue, when she was interrupted by the arrival of the young serving girl she had met earlier. The girl looked between the two of them, feeling the anger rolling off of their bodies, filling the air with a thick tension. "Will you be eating with _Gekozen, Heda_?" The young girl asked tentatively.

Lexa nodded her head at the girl, never breaking eye contact with Clarke, a small smirk growing on the corner of her mouth. Clarke glared at her, her blue eyes darkening into stormy orbs. With a barely contained snarl, Clarke stalked into the room, not bothering to wait for Lexa or the serving girl. She found _Hainofa_ sitting on the bed with Mari in between his legs. She felt her anger break slightly when she saw the attempts of braids in _Hainofa's_ fur, and Mari's fingers still woven through the longer hair on his chest. However, her anger quickly returned when she heard Lexa and the young girl enter the room behind her. She waved her hand in a harsh gesture towards the table, making the young girl scurry towards it with the food before fleeing out of the room, shooting anxious glances at Clarke.

Mari looked at Clarke, before flicking his eyes to Lexa's intimidating form. She watched the warm brown eyes fill with anxiety and fear, and he burrowed his face in _Hainofa's_ fur. Clarke looked at Lexa and saw that she had put on her Commander face, and while dressed in her full regalia, it was quite the sight to behold, and she could understand how it had instilled fear into Mari.

She walked towards the bed, and fingered one of the braids on _Hainofa's_ chest. "These are very good, Mari. With a little more practice, I'm sure you could best _Heda_." He looked up at her, hope filling his eyes. His posture became looser and he unwrapped himself from _Hainofa_ to hug her.

"You really think so?" He asked her, and his voice quavered slightly, showing the deep insecurity that lived inside of him. Clarke felt a pang in her heart and she grasped the boy tighter, determined to show him the splendor of the world, instead of its terrors.

"Of course, little one," she soothed gently, ruffling his hair with her free hand. She let out a small 'oomph' when he jumped on her and wrapped is bony legs around her middle. She placed a hand under him, while the other held him in place against her chest. Using her legs, she pushed upwards and walked towards the table, crooning at him in hushed whispers. She met Lexa's gaze as she placed the boy in the most comfortable of the stiff chairs at the table, and saw awe and admiration there, as well as something else that she couldn't quite place.

She turned her attention back to Mari, who was gazing longingly at the food on the table, small rumbles echoing from the empty caverns of his stomach. "Let's get you some food. Hmm what do we have here?" She picked at some meat on a platter and took a deep sniff, "Venison," she said, answering her own question, before placing a large amount on a plate. She moved to place some fresh fruits on the plate, as well as a piece of toasted bread. As she turned back to face the boy, holding the plate in one hand, she noticed him slipping something into his lap. When he realized she had seen him, a flaming blush crept over his cheeks and guilt filled his features.

She moved closer and placed the plate in front of him, before holding her hand out, silently asking him to give her what he had taken. He placed a small, sticky cake in the center of her palm. When she moved her free hand towards the boy, he stiffened and leaned back, as if preparing himself for a harsh blow to the face. Clarke immediately stopped moving, guilt and horror filling her gaze. She placed the honey cake on the plate before crouching down to be face-level with him. "Everyone deserves a little sweetness," she said in her happiest voice, although inside she was reeling with resurfaced anger towards those that had instilled that response in him. She looked up at Lexa and saw similar emotions in the lines of her face, and the harness of her green eyes.

She left the boy to his own devices while she turned around to face the food again, piling up a large place of meat and fruit and putting it on the floor. _Hainofa_ leapt off the bed with a dull thud and plodded over to his meal, sniffing at the meat with hesitation in his eyes. "Oh come on," she jested, "Surely venison two days in a row won't kill you!" He let out a whine. "You're such a baby. Eat it or eat nothing," she threatened. His eyes widened and he quickly bent down and scarfed as much of it as he could down in one bite. She laughed at his antics and turned to fill up her own plate, pausing as she looked back at Lexa, who was clearly uncomfortable, shifting from one foot to other almost imperceptibly.

"Would you like to join us, Lexa?" She asked, seeing relief enter the older girl's eyes as Clarke addressed her. Clarke felt a pang of remorse. She had been treating Lexa very harshly, and she knew that this couldn't be an easy thing for her to deal with. She knew how much Lexa hated having to play a double role, hiding her true self to please her people, but it angered her when Lexa used the Commander persona against her.

Lexa took a step towards the table and with an encouraging smile from Clarke, picked up a plate with her beautiful, long-fingered hands, and began to serve herself breakfast.

Halfway through their meal, _Hainofa_ let out a long, throaty burb that earned him a sharp reprimand from Clarke, and a peal of giggles from Mari. Lexa looked faintly amused, a small smile threatening to spread across her face. Clarke saw it, and smiled back at her, her eyes twinkling with happiness she had not felt since her people had been captured. The meal was soon finished, leaving all four of them with bulging stomachs and dimming minds, all of their blood having rushed to their stomachs to digest the food.

However the moment was broken when Lexa cleared her throat and looked expectantly at Mari, who grew stiff and nervous under her gaze, twisting his fingers together underneath the table. "Will you tell me what happened, child?" Her voice was uncharacteristically gentle and Clarke found herself drawn to that voice, to Lexa, who was shining through tough exterior the Commander.

Mari nodded his head and began his tale. It was full of horrors and Clarke felt tears well up in her eyes. The boy spoke with an emotionless voice, his face void of expression except the paths of wetness that covered the planes of his cheeks, dripping down onto his tunic. He told them about how it had started after his father had been captured by the _Maunon_ , and his uncle, his father's twin, had moved into their house to take care of them. Mari paused here, and Clarke nodded encouragingly at him, wiping away his tears, assuring him that everything was going to be okay.

He continued, detailing how his uncle began to use his mother, and then would hurt her when she fought back. He cried harder when he admitted that he had tried to protect her but wasn't strong enough. He said that he had walked in on his uncle forcing himself on his mother and he took a knife from the kitchen and stabbed his uncle, but his uncle on picked the knife out of him and killed his mother in front of his eyes, telling him that she was dead because of him.

"That's when Clarke and Hainofa came and rescued me. Please don't hurt them _Heda_." He ended his story with sobs just barely contained in his chest.

Lexa looked at him with barely contained fury gracing her features, although when she saw that she was frightening the boy, she controlled herself and allowed her sympathy for the child to shine through. "Your _nomon_ will be avenged. You are a very brave warrior, Mari. You fought for what was right, never be ashamed of that." All it took were those gentle words for Mari to be completely overwhelmed, unable to contain the sobs that tore through his body, leaving him shaking and whimpering in his chair. Clarke picked him up and carried him back to bed, wrapping her body around his and crooning things into his ear.

 _Lexa's POV_

She was stunned by the boy's story, feeling a red mist of anger consume her as she thought of the tortures this six-year-old child had endured. She reconsidered her decision to burn the uncle, and decided he deserved no such honor. She needed to make a spectacle of what happens when such an occurrence happens, and that it will not be tolerated. She refocuses on Mari, seeing his fear, and trying to bring down her own anger. She consoles him the best way she knows how, in her gentlest voice, but the child still bursts into tears. She looked at _Hainofa_ confusedly, unsure of what she did wrong, and not wanting to upset Clarke anymore by her actions.

" _The child is simply overcome with emotion. Do not blame yourself, Heda, he needs to purge it of his system. Clarke will take care of him, do not worry."_ She heard the wolf's voice in her head, and noticed how different it was from Clarke's. It was deep and throaty, somehow managing to still sound melodic. It matched his sweet disposition, and Lexa was suddenly aware for how grateful she was that Clarke had him as a sort of family. She nodded her head at him, but her attention was drawn back to Clarke and Mari on the bed when she heard the small boy ask if Clarke would sing him a song.

Clarke quickly acquiesced and began a soft tune that Lexa did not recognize.

"Two little boys had two little toys  
Each had a wooden horse  
Gaily they played each summer's day  
Warriors both of course

One little chap, he had a mishap

He broke off his horse's head

He wept for his toy then he cried for joy

As his young playmate said,

Did you think I would leave you crying  
When there's room on my horse for two  
Climb up here Jack and don't be crying  
I can go just as fast with two  
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers  
And our horses will not be toys  
And I wonder if we'll remember  
When we were two little boys

Long years had passed, war came so fast  
Bravely they marched away  
Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd  
Wounded and dying lay  
Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out  
Out from the ranks so blue  
Gallops away to where Joe lay  
Then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you dying  
When there's room on my horse for two  
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon be flying  
I can go just as fast with two  
Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble  
Perhaps it's the battle's noise  
But I think it's that I remember  
When we were two little boys

Do you think I would leave you dying  
There's room on my horse for two  
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying  
Back to the ranks so blue  
Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble  
Perhaps it's the battle's noise  
But I think it's that I remember  
When we were two little boys"

When Clarke had finished singing, Lexa felt tears in her own eyes. The blonde's voice was soothing and melodic, utterly beautiful. It had lulled the small boy to sleep, and Lexa was very grateful for the fact, knowing it would be easier for the child to deal with pain of his mother's passing if he was well-rested. She quickly wiped away the beginnings of tears from the corners of her eyelids, knowing that Clarke would turn to look at her soon. She was right, the blonde turned her head; tear lines etched into the planes of her face and blue eyes rimmed with red.

Lexa watched as Clarke extracted herself delicately from the grasp of the small boy, leaving him to snuggle with the large wolf beside him. Clarke walked towards her, swaying slightly and motioning for Lexa to join her before exiting the room. Lexa followed quickly, not wanting to miss a moment alone with her _Seelehalb_. As soon as the door was closed behind her, Clarke spoke.

"I want you to promise me that Mari will come to no harm." Her words were blunt and forceful, digging deep into Lexa. Her eyes were held by Clarke's captivating and concern-filled blue ones, and Lexa knew that she would do anything for her.

She gulped, "You have my word. But if I may, I have a suggestion for his new living arrangements?" Clarke nodded hesitantly at her words, clearly indicating for her to continue. "I have a very dear friend in another clan, the Floundukru, who would gladly accept Mari as her own. She is a leader there. It is a peaceful clan, isolated on an island. He will know only love and care." She ends her small rant, green eyes still locked with blue. Her heart beats erratically, hardly holding hope that Clarke will accept her plans.

She is greatly surprised when Clarke quietly agrees with her, sadness and acceptance leaking out her words. "It will be better for him to grow up somewhere free from his past, no matter how much I may dislike it." Lexa realized this was as good a response as she would ever hope to get, and very tentatively she reached out a hand to pat Clarke's shoulder. The other girl stiffened but soon relaxed into the touch, slowly breaking down and allowing her own sobs to come out. Lexa pulled her into an awkward hug, but the connection between them soon eased any tension, leaving two slightly broken girls desperately clinging to each other.

Lexa forced herself to pull away sooner than she wanted to. "The clans will be gathering in two days time. We will transfer Mari then. Later tonight will be the funeral pyres, although he," she spat that word, "will receive no honor for the end of his fight." She paused, trying to reign in her emotions. "When the clans convene we will celebrate the beginning of winter, and plan for our imminent march on the _Maunon_."


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks to everyone whose read and reviewed. I really appreciate your support! I don't plan on giving up on the story so don't worry**

 **And for those who caught my small mistake about Anya, it will be rectified shortly, just wait. I don't have a beta so please excuse my mistakes (I might even put a cherry on top if y'all are nice)**

 _Clarke's POV_

She watched the flames lick up the sides of the funeral pyre, sparks flying into the sky, and clouds of smoke painting its dark canvas. She stood by Lexa's side, holding Mari in front of her, her hand resting on his shoulder. Lexa had honored him by allowing him to light the funeral pyre, and Clarke knew how much it meant to the small boy in front of her. He refused to cry, shoving his emotions deep inside, and that pained Clarke. She wanted to scream to the world that caring was not weakness, that emotion was strength, but for now she remained quiet, trying to give Mari as much silent support as she could.

After the lighting of the pyre there was a small feast, honoring the woman who had died, and commemorating her soul to the Spirit world. Mari's uncle, was crucified, his body nailed to a stake and put on the edge of the forest, warning all of the consequences to his crimes. Clarke could take no more of the celebration. She was tired, and felt the weight of their deaths heavily. She slipped into the shadows, softly and quietly, alerting nobody of her disappearance. She cold was a welcome because it forced people to remain inside during the nights, allowing her free passage through the city without disruption. It had stopped snowing briefly that afternoon, leaving she sky open and free, the stars shining brightly through, their light guiding her path back to the tower.

She was alone, Hainofa had left earlier that morning, needing to return to the pack and share the news about the imminent attack on the Maunon. She veered off course, deciding to visit the forest and relax her mind. It took her a little less than ten minutes to reach the sandpit, and from there she ran onward to the meadow she had come across the day before with Hainofa. The snow-covered ground was basked in the moon's rays, and the trees' shadows left beautiful designs on its white surface.

She lay on the snow, the grounder clothing preventing its chill from seeping through to her skin. She calmed her mind and allowed her body to enter a sort of waking sleep, cleansing her mind of all emotion and thought. It was peaceful, lying there in the snow, away from all of her troubles, and Clarke wished she could stay forever. However, she was broken out of her reverie by a scream and the crashing of branches. Her eyes darted open and she jumped to her feet, pulling out her dagger.

She moved towards the noise and was suddenly bowled over by something large and very cold. She rolled herself over and found herself straddling another person, a girl. There was something very familiar about her, but Clarke didn't have time to study her features because soon something very large and loud stormed out of the brush heading straight towards them. It was as tall as a small house, and as wide as one of the old world's cars. Covered in dark black fur, it bared its teeth at her. It looked to be some sort of mutated gorilla, enlarged by genetic mutation after the Great Wars.

She pulled her dagger in front of her and before she could think another thought, it was upon her. She saw it jump and she closed her eyes as she lay on top of the girl, knife pointed upwards towards the heavens.

She felt the collision in her bones, instantly knowing that they were broken as she screamed in pain. The girl beneath her was quiet; Clarke thought she might have fainted. The knife had gone straight through the ribcage of the great beast, killing it instantly, and Clarke knew how lucky she had gotten. The pain was blinding and she could feel blood trickling into her eyes. Her body was crushed but she did her best to protect the girl underneath her from bearing the majority of the weight. She prayed with all her might before she lost consciousness, _"Lexa, help me, please he-"_

 _Lexa's POV_

She had brought the boy back up to the towers. She had not seen Clarke when they had left, and she assumed that the blonde had already returned to her chambers. She opened the door to Clarke's room, making next to no noise, and noticed how dark it was, devoid of any candle light. Mari entered behind her and whispered out, "Clarke?" There was no response and Lexa felt dread pooling in her stomach.

She called to the guards at the end of the hallway, "Where is she!?" The guards told her that Clarke had not returned to her rooms that night. She froze, her mind and body paralyzed with fear and worry. If Clarke had been harmed, she would slit the person who did it from throat to groin, slowly. She ordered the guards to stand guard over Clarke's room, to let nobody in, and to keep Mari from leaving.

She then fled down several flights of stairs until she reached Anya's chambers. She barged in, finding the older blonde sitting peacefully by the fire, playing silently with a small dagger. "Heda?" Anya asked, silent questions filling her eyes.

"She's gone, Anya. Room completely empty." Her breath was coming quicker and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. The connection she had with Clarke scared her slightly because she was so enraptured by her, caring too deeply, muddling her brain.

"Breathe, Lexa, breathe. We will find her." Anya had risen from her seat and grasped the younger brunette's shoulders. Lexa felt herself stiffen and pain filled her body and she collapsed to the floor, she felt a weight upon her, although her body was free. Then a weary and pain-filled voice fills her head, and she recognizes the voice immediately. _"Lexa, help me, please he-"_ and then there was silence. Lexa screamed and the darkness closed in around her, knowing now that what she was experiencing was through Clarke.

"Lexa, Lexa, what's wrong? Come back to me! Fight it!" She heard Anya's voice and felt hands roughly shaking her. She was brought out of the hazy blackness and her eyes focused on Anya's.

She dragged herself to her feet and ran out of the room, dragging Anya with her by the hand. "It's Clarke, Anya, she's hurt; I can feel it." She didn't look back to see Anya's response, but the older woman had sped up, giving Lexa a silent response. They tore through the tower, and when they reached the bottom Lexa straightened herself slightly, regaining a calmer and more stoic composure. Her voice barely wavered when she yelled for guards to accompany them. "Gekozen is missing and hurt. Find her."

She then walked briskly out of the tower, winding her way through Polis' streets towards the sand pit where Clarke often ventured to on her midnight escapades. Anya followed her silently, constantly checking their backs.

Lexa shouted joyfully when she picked up Clarke's tracks in the sand, and they followed them through the forest for several candle marks. She smelt blood on the wind and she ran in that direction, not bothering to heed Anya's recommendations for silence or stealth. She passed through a clearing, and saw the imprints in the snow, but she didn't stop. She plunged through the underbrush and gasped when she saw what was in front of her.

She heard Anya suck in a breath beside her, and both of them reached for their swords, approaching the large beast with caution. They poked it, and when no response was solicited they rolled it over. Lexa was frantic by now, her movement fast with deadly precision, but her hands shook as the pushed harshly at its massive weight, trying with all their might to make it move.

Finally, with two short grunts, Lexa and Anya succeeded in pushing the pauna off of Clarke. Lexa felt tears spring to her eyes. Lying on the floor of the forest was her Seelehalb, her bones broken and at odd angles, blood covering her face. She noticed a small knife plunged to the hilt in the pauna's chest and knew that it had been Clarke who had defeated the beast. She felt a hand rest on the small of her back and she leaned into Anya's gesture. "She was strong. A true warrior," the blonde warrior says gruffly, not knowing exactly how to handle the situation.

Lexa pulls away at this, "She's not dead!" Fresh tears stream down her face as the falls to ground and reaches for Clarke's hand. That's when she notices that the hand she's reaching for is entwined with another. She feels irrationally jealous and tears Clarke's hand away from its partner, feeling desperately for a pulse. When she finds one she lets a sob rise through her and pulls Clarke's body onto her own, scooping her up bridal style.

Underneath her was a young woman with dark brown hair. She was barely covered, wrapped in sopping wet white garments that left her bare to the elements. The girl was covered in bites, scratches, and blood. Bruises covered her tanned skin, but it did not hide the fact that she was beautiful. "Get that one," she muttered to Anya, not letting herself gaze longer at the other girl, feeling her heart clench with anger at each glance.

Clarke lay limp in her arms as they made their way back through the forest. Several candle marks later they arrived back at the city and guards rushed towards them. Regretfully, Lexa handed Clarke's body over to a guard and ordered him to take her immediately to the healer. Anya did the same, except with much less fanfare. The guards left immediately, traveling as fast as they could back to the tower to find the city's best healer.

Lexa stood still in shock, although her face betrayed none of her emotions to the outside world. Anya moved to stand beside her, her face equally impassive. Lexa turns to look up at her old mentor hope and fear flitting through the sage green depths of her eyes. "She will be fine. Let us return and we can rest until Clarke and the girl have been healed." Lexa flicks her eyes down in agreement and moves stiffly back towards the tower, physically exhausted from carrying Clarke through the forest, and mentally worn from worrying.

When they reach Lexa's rooms, they both collapsed, Lexa onto her bed, and Anya onto the nearest comfortable chair. A servant had stoked the fire, and the candles lit, casting a warm glow on the room, but it could not melt the harness that had entered both women's hearts.

 _Clarke's POV_

Clarke could feel pain through the blurry blackness that held her captive. She tried to scream, to move away, but her body remained frozen in place. She heard voices murmuring but she could not understand the words. She fought as hard as she could to stay in this trance of half-consciousness, but eventually the pain was too much and she fell back into the darkness of her mind.

She was brought back into the trance like state in what felt like hours later, her eyes closed but her ears open. Her body still adamantly refused to move, but her mind felt clearer and the pain smaller. She could feel that her bones had been reset, and the ache in her muscles proved it. Her head felt stuffy and slightly itchy and she strained hard to move her hand to scratch at it. She was so focused on that horrid itch that she stopped listening to the world around her, but a familiar voice brought her mind back to attention.

"Come back to me Clarke, I can't lose you too," was whispered next to her ear and she knew it was Lexa speaking. "You were so stupid to fight a pauna." Clarke feels herself grow indignant at this; she had killed the thing after all. "But so brave. You're so brave, Clarke, you never stop fighting. So, don't you dare give up on me now." Lexa's words entered Clarke's ears in such a loving manner that Clarke felt her body warming and her heart fluttering in her chest. The familiar rushing of electrified blood flowed through her and finally her body was released from its captivity.

She opened her eyes and saw Lexa sitting next to her, head bowed and in her hands. It took Clarke several tries to open her mouth, for her jaw was extremely stiff, but she finally managed it and in a very small and hoarse voice, she spoke to Lexa. "I'm too stubborn to give up," she wheezed out, feeling the air rattle through her very sore chest. Lexa's head snapped up and relief filled her features.

"Clarke! You're awake!" She said excitedly, and Clarke realized that she had Lexa sitting by her side. Not Heda, not a mix of both, just Lexa. Clarke tried to smile at her but managed only a small wince. She moved her hand to cover Lexa's, which was now resting on the bed and she used her thumb to stiffly stroke the soft skin of Lexa's hand. However, Lexa withdrew her hand with a hurt and confused look entering her tired features. "You can't keep doing this to me, Clarke! You leave me and get hurt. How can I protect you if you don't want me around!?" Lexa was yelling by this point and Clarke flinched back slightly, causing a small amount of guilt to enter her green eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lexa," Clarke responded moments later in a broken voice. Lexa paused and deflated in front of her. The anger that had caused her to rise to her feet leaving her body and left Lexa to sink back to a sitting position in the chair. Clarke watched as Lexa returned to holding her head in her hands and listened while she muttered the same thing over and over again in her language. Clarke waited patiently until Lexa decided to speak to her again.

"Love is weakness, Clarke. And all you've shown me is how weak I've become after I met you." Her green eyes bore into Clarke's and Clarke feels tears beginning to brim in her eyes. Lexa cared for her, she knew that, but to see Lexa admit something like that was crushing. It made Clarke's heart clench uncomfortably and the loneliness that the Spirit had warned her about diminish.

"Come here," Clarke demanded and with surprise in her gaze, Lexa moved to lie next to Clarke. Once she was settled next to her on the bed, Clarke leaned over and kissed Lexa's lips, pouring her own feelings into it. The kiss was soft and gentle, and Clarke fought against the pain her body was feeling by moving. Eventually she could bare it no more, and a small gasp wrenched its way through her teeth into Lexa's mouth. Clarke felt Lexa stiffen beside her, and pull away.

"I apologize, Clarke. I should not have indulged you," Lexa says as the moves to get off of the bed. Clarke feels exasperated at her response and reaches out to catch Lexa's arm in an iron grip.

"Never apologize, Lexa. I would not have kissed you, if I did not want to. Now get back here and snuggle with me," Clarke demanded hotly, and with only a small amount of hesitation, Lexa crawled back into bed to hold Clarke against her.

"You have been asleep for a day. The clans will gather tomorrow," Lexa says somewhat anxiously into Clarke's hair.

"I will be fine by then. I heal quickly thanks to the Spirit," Clarke replies trying to diffuse some of Lexa's worries. Lexa relaxes at this, but quickly becomes tense again, drawing away from Clarke to look down at her.

"Clarke," she begins and then pauses as if seeking the courage to continue, "Who was the girl with you?" Clarke can feel the pain that Lexa is barely holding back, and she thinks back through her memories to try to identify the girl. Blue eyes, dark brown hair, tanned skin… Octavia! Clarke lets out and involuntary gasp, her brain going into shock and her body freezing. Her heart starts to speed and her breathing intensifies, which only serves to shoot pain through her chest and her barely healed ribs. She can't think, she can't move, all she can do is lie there in shock.

"Clarke? Clarke?" She hears Lexa question worriedly, but she sounds muted to her ears, her voice fuzzy. She finally manages to regain her breathing again, and when she does she only manages to say two words before the darkness drags her back under.

"She's alive."

 _Lexa's POV_

The blonde fell limp in her arms, and Lexa lowered her gently back down onto the bed before she extracted herself. Lexa was shaking, pent up anger bubbling up within her, and she screamed in fury, beating her fists against the furs of the bed. She felt jealous, a feeling she had never experienced before, and had prided herself for avoiding, and now she was here screaming like a lovesick fool. Her rage had not subsided when the door swung open and she heard footsteps approaching.

"Lexa, what is wrong? I heard you from several floors below." It is Anya's voice and Lexa laughs bitterly at that, all tact forgotten as she whirls around to face her former first.

"What's wrong, Anya!? What's wrong?" She said murderously, her teeth clenched, preventing the screams from leaving again. "My chosen has a lover, and you show up here after being captured by the Maunon without so much as an explanation!" Her voice was slowly getting louder, "No, I'm just fine Anya, just fine!" She ended her speech after seeing flashes of guilt in Anya's dark, amber eyes.

"I don't know what they told you, Lexa, but I was never captured by the Maunon," Lexa stood dumbfounded at this statement, her brain running in circles trying to figure out how what her former first said could be true.

"That's impossible," she spat, "Titus would never lie to me about something like that."

Anya growled at that statement, showing her pointed teeth. "Titus does not like to feel threatened, Lexa, especially when his advice is countered constantly by those under your protection." She paused, letting Lexa fill in the gaps.

"You are speaking true, Anya?" Lexa asked, her face and voice void of emotion.

"Do not doubt my word, Heda," she swears vehemently.

"He will be dealt with accordingly," she pauses, letting emotion back into her features, "What did he do to you, Onya"

The older blonde's features darken. "He sent Tristan and his Eastern army to attack my villages. We won of course, but I paid a harsh price for the victory. Titus blamed me for the deaths of Tristan and his people and exiled me, promising to keep my people safe if you were denied the truth." Lexa's face turns into stone and her hand clutches for Anya's, squeezing it tightly until the blood refuses to go through. Anya stands still, letting Lexa anchor herself to her, sacrificing her pain for Lexa's comfort.

"You are lucky he is currently out of Polis with the Natblidas," Anya nods, although the annoyed expression had not quiet faded from her face.

Anya had opened her mouth, about to reply to Lexa, when she was interrupted by a piercing shriek that filled the room. They both looked to the bed, seeing Clarke rolling around, sweat covering her body, her mouth open, and words coming out in fast strings.

"No, no, stop! Take me, take me, I'll do anything," her words became to fast and blurred together to understand but Lexa could feel Anya's curiosity and her horror.

Lexa moved to sit by Clarke, grasping her gently by the shoulders, "Clarke, wake up. You are dreaming, wake up!"

Clarke rolled out from under her, fighting against Lexa's grasp with all of her unconscious strength.

"Let me go! You killed him! I hate you!" Clarke's voice broke on her last words and Lexa felt a lump rise in her throat. She knew that Clarke was not speaking to her, but she felt guilty and sad nonetheless. She released her hold on Clarke stumbling back off of the bed and into Anya's waiting arms. Moments later Clarke gasped again and this time she was awake. Her hands flew up to her face and then roamed down her body as if checking for imaginary cuts and bruises.

Sweat covered her brow and it took her several minutes to regain her breathing, all the while Lexa and Anya stood hidden in the darkness of the room. Lexa wanted to see what Clarke would do after she woke, and had quickly dragged Anya along with her. She half expected Clarke to go back to sleep, or to simply sketch at the table across the room, but she surprised when the girl rose out of bed, groaning loudly.

There was a whimper when her feet touched the ground and weight was transferred to her legs. "Oh, fuck," she said as she slowly rose to her feet. When she released her hold on the bed, which had been giving her support, she swayed back and forth, looking as if she was going to fall over. It took all of Lexa's will power to remain in the darkness instead of rushing to her Seelehalb's side. "Come on, Clarke," she heard the blonde say to herself.

"You've got this girl, just one step, and then another one." She had managed several steps before she needed to stop again, quickly dropping to her knees to dry heave onto the ground. Clarke rose to her feet, a determined look on her face. Tears were in her eyes, but the blonde wiped them away angrily. "Cry on the inside, Clarke. Don't be weak, girl, you've got to keep fighting." With a nod at herself, Clarke continued on her path towards the door.

After reaching the door, there was another rest, and then she exited the room, her breathing heavy and labored. Lexa motioned to Anya to follow the girl, putting an emphasis on remaining stealthy and unheard by the blonde in front of them. They let Clarke lead them to several different room, pausing at each one to look in and then take a break, occasionally dry-heaving onto the floor.

It took her a good half a candle mark to find the room she was searching for. Lexa could see it in her posture, a straightening of the spine and a sharp sigh of relief. They waited for the blonde to enter the room, leaving the door open behind her. Lexa and Anya moved to see the inside of the room, and were both left speechless by the sight in front of them.

Clarke had reached the side of the mysterious girl on the bed and had crawled in beside the girl, so that they were facing each other. "Octavia?" She heard Clarke whisper, as the blonde let her hand ghost up Octavia's side to caress her face. There was no response, and in Clarke's next words Lexa could hear desperation creeping in.

"Octavia Blake you wake up right now, or I will go to hell to find you so that I can kill you again." Lexa and Anya look at each other, Lexa with pride in her eyes and Anya with amusement. They were jerked back to the scene in front of them when they heard a pitiful groan coming from the bed, and it had not come from Clarke.

"Jeez, Princess, what a way to wake up. Next time try a kiss with some food." Lexa stiffened at this, tears starting to form in her eyes. Anya reached out to grasp her hand, holding her steady and preventing her from breaking down.

"You're a menace, you know that O?" The blonde laughed, relief giddy in her tone.

The brunette laughed throatily at this and responded teasingly, "Did I hit a nerve Oh Pure One?"

There was a ringing sound and the laughter increased tenfold. There was a huff before a petulant voice answered, "Excuse me for having higher standards then everyone else in camp! Besides, we can't all be grounder pounders can we?"

Lexa and Anya could hear the satisfied smirk in Clarke's voice and the room went quiet before the brunette replied hotly. "How did you find out about Lincoln?" Lexa almost had to hold Anya's mouth shut, for it was gaping open in surprise and indignation.

"You know just the fact you were literally gone every night and came back barely being able to walk. I figured it out pretty quickly. Plus you're much less grumpy when you get laid." The blonde responded.

"At least I get some, Princess," the brunette, Octavia, Lexa remembers, fires back. Anya smirked at her and raised an eyebrow. Lexa had to resist the rising temptation to smack that irritating expression off of her former first's face.

The blonde responded quietly this time, the tenor of her voice changing. "I missed you O."

There was a sob and the two girls hugged, breaking into each other. There were muffled words coming from the two of them, and Lexa only caught a few. "I'm fine, mom, really," and "We need to get them back," and finally, "it will start soon, Clarke, and they're all going to die."

Lexa heard Clarke's broken sob and felt her own heart break in response. She knew they were talking about the mountain, and her resolve to fight against them hardened. She and Anya waited until the girls had fallen asleep, arms and legs wrapped together, their breathing slowing and equalizing, before they slipped from the darkness back into Lexa's room.

Once the door had closed behind them, Anya turned towards her, a knowing look in her eye. "Explain."


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello, lovely readers (and my most special reviewers), I'm really glad you're enjoying my story! I know you might be confused about Lexa's character, and I wanted to let everyone know that the state of her emotional health relies heavily on her relationship with Clarke. The Spirit requires them to 'bond,' and the closer they get to that state of being the less irrationally emotional they become, but that also means that when they are fighting or separate, their emotions go a little haywire.**

 _Lexa's POV_

It spilled from her mouth. Everything about how she met Clarke, how the Mountain Men took her people, and finally about their Spirit's bond. Anya was silent through Lexa's entire story, nodding every so often, and occasionally a small smirk lighting her face.

"You're telling me that she hunted and provided food or you on multiple occasions? I never took you for a domestic woman, Lexa." Lexa gaped at her.

"That's all you got from my story!" Lexa growled in frustration.

Anya's face hardened slightly. "No, Lexa, what I understood is that if unbound to the Skai Prisa, our people will die and order will give way to chaos." The older blonde paused slightly, before continuing.

"The girl has the Spirit, and with that comes great power. We must work together in order to save our people, that is our only chance." Anya finished her speech, looking intensely into Lexa's eyes.

"I thought you hated working with others, Anya," the brunette teased half-heartedly, her mind too preoccupied with the future to put full force into her humor.

There was a silence between the two of them, making Lexa grow wary and tense. "That was before I learned my friend would die if we simply turned her away."

This struck Lexa. She didn't want to be so controlled by her emotions, to feel again, but Clarke had come and torn down all her walls. She wanted to rebut Anya's words, but she knew they were true. If she and Clarke did not bind themselves together in Union, they would die from loneliness. She had already felt its effects, making her more emotionally unstable when she fought with the blonde, or was separated from her for too long.

It was exhausting to feel so much, Lexa thought. It had been a very long time since she had let someone in, and that had lead her nowhere except pain, longing, and regret. She had forged on to create the coalition, putting the past behind her, but she had never forgotten. She realized then how much her vengeful love of Costia had dimmed since meeting Clarke, she had barely thought of her past lover, and for that she was both grateful and sad.

"Finding a new lover and companion does not mean you are besmirching the old," Anya said, reading Lexa as if she was an open book. Lexa scowled at her, abashed at having her very thoughts written all over her for anyone to read. She remembered Clarke telling her that her eyes were the key to her soul, and she hoped that very few people ever tried to glimpse what was there. It would not do well for anyone to know her hopes, feelings, and fears, but yet she could not hide them when it came to a certain blonde, and Lexa knew that no matter how hard she tried to fight against it, she would lose.

"It would be wise to let her in, Lexa. I will not see my friend and people die in front of me, so I vow to the Spirit to do what I have to do in order to bond the two of you." Anya said, her voice and expression obsolete.

"Oh yes because she'll definitely appreciate you being my wing-woman after you kicked her out of my bed, called her a whore, and induced a relationship of familiarity," Lexa said scathingly.

Her previous mentor looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. "Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Lexa," she scolded.

When Lexa only managed to scowl at her, rolling her eyes at the familiar lesson the older blonde smiled lightly and said, "I will do what I have to do. I vowed to protect my _Heda_ , and I will fight to save my friend." Her voice was light, but the message was serious.

Lexa nodded, feeling a deep appreciation and love for her friend, advisor, and trustee. She did not need to say anything; she knew that Anya could read what she was feeling through her eyes. The older blonde lowered her head in respect and moved towards the door, "Get some sleep, Lexa, you look like _skrish_ (shit)." Lexa laughed quietly as the door closed behind the other woman. It was then that her exhaustion hit her full force, her adrenaline from finding Clarke with Octavia wearing off. She staggered several steps before falling face first onto her bed, moaning slightly. The moment her head touched her pillow she was asleep, a peaceful smile resting delicately on her face.

 _Clarke's POV_

She woke to sour puffs of air shooting unpleasantly down her cheek. She kept her eyes closed and tried to push the offending thing away, but was jolted awake when there was a large crash were the breaths had originated from. She peered over the side of the bed to see a shell-shocked Octavia lying on the floor. Immediately the door swung open and the anxious face of a guard peered in. " _Gekozen_ , are you alright?"

Before Clarke could answer the voice from the floor spoke up, "She won't be. Gosh Clarke, what did I ever do to you?" Clarke snorted and looked up at the guard, who was starting to look confused.

"Could you bring something for us to clean up with? Especially for our mouths?" Clarke didn't know if they had toothpaste, and she wasn't sure on the warrior's grasp of English. The confusion left his face, and anger replaced it. He nodded tersely, shooting a glare at the brunette on the floor.

"Wow," Octavia commented, "What crawled up his ass and died?" Clarke swatted her playfully.

"Probably the same thing that crawled into your mouth in the middle of the night."

Octavia glared at her. "What are you trying to say here, Princess?" She raised a fist threateningly; "Still want to say it now?"

Clarke merely looked unimpressed, "Your breath stinks, and I think my nose died," she paused to make gagging sounds.

Now it was Octavia's turn to mirror her friend's expression. "You dumped me out bed onto the cold floor because you couldn't handle a little morning breath?" She rubbed her fingers together, imitating the playing of a very tiny violin. "Now it's confirmed that you've never slept with someone."

Clarke made an indignant squawk. "I have to!" Octavia raised an eyebrow, with a devilish look in her eye. "No, I mean, not like that, it wasn't… really, not like you're thinking."

"Oh Clarkey, why don't you tell me all about it," Octavia purred into her ear, sending more morning breath down her cheeks and into her nose. Clarke gagged and pushed the younger girl away.

Fortunately, Clarke thought, she was saved from having to answer by the door banging open and three serving girls entering, carrying a bath tub and buckets of steaming water. Clarke felt slightly guilty, but she was looking forward to the pleasure of bathing too much to feel that bad. She looked to Octavia and saw an equal look of longing on her face.

"Mochof," Clarke said to them as they left silently. Only one of them turned around and nodded back to her. Clarke wasn't really sure if she liked her reputation here. On one hand it gave her space, freedom, and the feeling of respect, but it also left her feeling isolated and alone.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a splash and a long, loud, and pleasure filled moan. She turned around to see Octavia fully submerged in the water. Clarke felt pangs of jealousy shoot through her and she stripped off her clothes and joined the other girl. Without warning, a moan rivaling Octavia's slipped through her lips.

"Oh yeah, you'll be a screamer for sure," Octavia commented, and just like that, Clarke's momentary bliss was shattered. She glared at the brunette, who was grinning like a Cheshire cat back at her.

"You're not so quiet yourself…maybe that's why Lincoln had to leave his village and live alone in the forest," she shot back, feeling rather proud of herself when she wiped the grin clean off of the other girl's face. Although, her happiness dissipated when the Octavia's face darkened and a tear rolled down her face. "O, what happened to Lincoln?"

She sniffles before answering, "He was captured by the Mountain Men with me, but we were separated almost immediately and I haven't seen him since." Clarke reaches a hand out of the water to brush away her friend's tears, cooing to her softly as the silent tears ran streaming down her face.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," the brunette whispered to Clarke, trying to assure herself more than she was the blonde. "The only thing we can do is fight to get him back." Her face regained its usual determined look and Clarke chuckled.

"There's my girl. We'll get him back, O. We're going to save them all." There was hope in her words, but fear in her heart. Both girls sighed and in order to lighten the mood, Octavia threw a patch of scented bubbles at her.

Clarke gasped in mock fury. "Where, oh evil one, did you find soap?"

The brunette smirked and held out a tray of soaps, shampoos, and conditioners. Clarke moaned again, this time in anticipation. "Oh you needy girl," Octavia jested, as she handed over the platter of washing materials to Clarke.

Clarke picked up each of the scented soaps and inhaled deeply, trying to memorize their scents. The last smelled of pine and forest, and there was something so familiar about it. She instantly knew that it was the one she wanted, so she focused on lathering herself in soapy bubbles. She used the matching shampoo and conditioner to wash her hair, but it hurt too much to lift her arms above her head because of her previously broken ribs. She knew she healed faster, thanks to the Spirit within her, but broken ribs, no matter how much help was given, took longer than 12 hours to heal.

Octavia noticed so she made a spinning motion with her fingers and beckoned Clarke closer. Clarke allowed herself to spin around until her back was facing Octavia. She felt fingers massage into her scalp and before she could help it, yet another moan rang through the room. She flushed red with embarrassment while Octavia just laughed. When her hair was clean, she repeated the actions for Octavia, who moaned equally as loud. Although the brunette was less embarrassed at first, minutes of Clarke's giggling and teasing finally caused her to turn red.

They exited the bath both feeling like new women, and dried off with the furs that were provided to them. A month ago Clarke would have felt very uncomfortable having another person see her naked, but this was the ground and she had bathed in rivers with Octavia many times before. There was nothing she hadn't seen before biologically, being an apprentice doctor, but she would admit it took her several group baths to fully lose her discomfort about public nudity.

Clarke tried to clean up the bath area, and after organizing slightly, she found what she had been desperately looking for before the bath. "Oh, Octavia darling, guess what I have for you?" She called sweetly to her friend with a large smirk on her face. Octavia looked at her suspiciously, but when the blonde pulled out a rough version of a toothbrush and some white past, Octavia just fumed silently.

Both girls brushed their teeth, and then proceeded to scavenge around the room for articles of clothing. However, since Octavia had been in the healer's room, and Clarke had stayed with her that night, Clarke no longer had any of her clothing with her.

She looked at Octavia, and the brunette immediately grasped the situation. She grabbed Clarke's hand and dragged her out of the room. Both were only covered in the furs they had used to dry off with, neither of which left much to the imagination. Clarke was muttering under her breath, cursing Octavia and her horrible ideas.

She was pulled past the guard on duty, trying to send him an apology with her eyes before she was yanked forward again. The guard looked very uncomfortable and averted his eyes, but made no move to stop them. She eventually realized that Octavia had never been here before and therefore did not know her way to Clarke's room, but by the time Clarke had realized this, they were both lost.

"Well shit," Octavia said loudly, "We're lost." Clarke glared at her.

"You should have let me lead!" Clarke yelled at her, angrier at being left in only a very revealing towel than being lost.

"You have quite the dominant side there, Princess," Octavia remarked slyly. Clarke nodded without bothering to think over what Octavia had said.

"Yes, I do. Now let's go back." Octavia laughed again before the breath was knocked from her lungs as Clarke pulled her forward. The blonde held her towel up with one hand as she dragged Octavia with the other. It took several minutes before Clarke found her room again, and she opened the door with relief. Clarke slammed the door closed behind them before dropping her towel and beginning her search for clothing. Octavia was not as keen to find clothing, and spent several minutes examining the room.

Clarke was about to throw some clothes at Octavia when there was a large crash, sounding as if it had come from just down the hall. It was followed by angry screams and more crashing sounds. Clarke flinched at each one, wanting desperately to know what had happened, but also wanting to keep her innocence in the matter. Octavia, however, looked downright shocked, but she shook it off quickly when she noticed Clarke staring at her.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," she commented wryly. Clarke merely shrugged and went back to dressing.

 _Lexa's POV_

She sat silently in her chair, reading for the first time in months. It was a leisurely habit that she often had no time for, but this morning was different. It was the day of the clan gathering, and she had no responsibilities before the sun rose towards the middle of the sky. There was no Titus to argue with, or Natblidas to train; there was only the peace of the dawning morning.

Lexa was startled from her reading when a loud moan rang through hallways. Her fingers clenched her book, leaving angry finger marks on the pages. She tried to relax, knowing that the brunette was courting Lincoln, but when another even louder moan floated down the hall moments later, she left all logic and reason behind her.

She slammed her book down on the chair as she rose, beginning to pace around her room. The hall was quiet for several minutes, but gradually more moans began to slip under the crack of her door, invading Lexa's sensitive ears. She growled in fury, wanting to leave the room and rip the brunette off of her blonde. The only one who had the right to hear those sounds was her, she thought. There was a knock on the door and it opened slightly after a moment of Lexa's silence. A guard slipped inside and bowed, whispering a revered 'Heda,' as her rose to look at her again.

She tried to pull herself together and put on her stoic façade, but the anger was clearly present in her posture and raging green eyes. "Speak, Guard," she ordered.

" _Gekozen_ and the girl have awoken, Heda," he said before pausing, as if considering if he should proceed.

Lexa looked at him furiously, although when she spoke her voice was cold. "Yes, I heard."

The guard looked very uncomfortable. "When _Gekozen_ awoke she called for something to bathe with and something to cleanse her mouth with." Lexa let a growl slip out of her mouth. _'When she is mine she will be too tired to order a bath, let alone get out of bed,'_ she thought.

"There was only one bathtub, _Heda_." Another growl slipped out of her mouth, and her normally light green eyes darkened. She began her pacing again, looking much like an agitated panther.

"What exactly are you implying, Guard?" She asked menacingly, watching the guard gulp loudly, his Adams apple bobbing noticeably.

"They ran out of the room together in their towels, _Heda_." She lunged at him, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him off the floor.

"What did you see!?" The guard looked down at her in fright. She released her hold slightly.

"Nothing, _Heda_! I did not look!" She let him slide back down onto the floor, and she felt guilty for her actions, he had done nothing but answer to her every whim. The bond with Clarke was causing her emotions to flare up like never before, making her act irrationally and unpredictably. Every time her bond with Clarke was threatened, she felt a vicious monster rise up within her, making her want to fight anything that stood in her way. She needed Clarke; she craved everything about her: the way she looked at Lexa, her smile, how she held a drawing pencil lightly in her hands, and the expression of mirth and gentle care always present on her face when she talked of her friends and family.

"My apologies Guard. Return to your post." He nodded, rubbing his neck slightly, and then bowed before retreating cautiously out of the room. The small amount of calm she had managed to show in front of the guard fell away, leaving her in a primal state of rage. She picked up the nearest thing to her, a small wooden stool, and threw it at the wall. Her vision was misted with red, and her heart pounded loudly. A scream ripped through her and she threw another stool at the wall, feeling satisfied at the loud cracking sound it made upon impact. She had just picked up another stool, ready to toss it across the room, when the door slammed open and a very angry Anya stormed into the room.

"ALEXANDRIA WOODS!" She threatened loudly, and it was Lexa's turn to gulp, although the rage in her body held strong. "What. Have. You. Done?" Anya said in angry disbelief.

It was Lexa's turn to shout, letting the anger and fear pour out of her. "Did you hear any of that!? My _Seelehalb_ moaning at the hands of another! I won't stand for it, Anya!" She paused slightly before plowing onwards.

"The only hands on her should be mine, and mine alone," she growled, "And I will kill anyone who stands in my way." Anya looked a little worried, but mostly just unimpressed with Lexa's behavior.

"You have a right to lay claim to her, Lexa, but honestly, can you not control yourself?" Lexa looked slightly abashed at her former mentor's rebuke. "They were bathing for the first time in weeks, for Spirit's sake. If you're so worried about it, go talk to Clarke!" Anya said with exasperation clear in her voice.

"Fine," Lexa spat, unable to fully let go of her anger, "I will." And with that, she turned tail and stalked out of the room.

She stormed down the hall, only stopping once she arrived at the dark wooden door of Clarke's room. She could hear muffled voices coming out from underneath the crack of the thick door, although she could not quite make out what was being said. There was a loud thump, followed by several smaller ones, and then steady creaking sounds. Her mouth gaped open and she barged into the room, preparing herself mentally for what she was about to see.

But what she walked in on was far more shocking than she had imagined. Both girls were only half clothed and were circling each other on top of the bed, occasionally one jumping out of the other's way. It was obvious they were fighting, although the small smirks and frustrated looks they shot each other told Lexa it was nothing serious.

Clarke's head shot up and she grinned at Lexa. Taking advantage of her opponent's distracted attention, Octavia jumped on the blonde bringing them both down onto the bed. The bed heaved in response, and Clarke groaned in fake pain. Lexa didn't know what to do, so she just stood there with her mouth wide open. Octavia was straddling Clarke and had pinned her to the floor. With a playful snarl the brunette announced, "I win."

Lexa saw Clarke glare up at the younger girl on top of her. "I called it first. It's not fair! You cheated!" Clarke then stuck her tongue out at the girl on top of her, and Lexa's jaw dropped even closer to the floor. Never before had she seen the strong blonde girl act so innocent, so much like a _goufa_.

"I was always Nala, O! I think I deserve to be Simba this time." The younger brunette cocked an eyebrow, still aggressively ignoring the fact that Lexa was staring in wonder at the two of them.

"What will you give me if I let you be Simba, Princess?" Lexa heard Octavia purr into Clarke's ear, glancing slyly at Lexa while she did so. She smirked ever so slightly when Lexa's fingers tightened into fists at her sides and her teeth gritted together.

Clarke sighed underneath her before muttering sulkily, "I'll let you dress me however you want."

This time it was Octavia's turn to be surprised. "Really, Clarke? You would let me do that!?" The younger girl squealed excitedly and she hopped off Clarke, immediately beginning to rattle off things that Lexa did not understand, and her brow furrowed in confusion.

"But I expect to look good, O. If we're doing this, we're doing it all the way." Octavia saluted Clarke when she said this.

"Don't worry, Princess, you're going to be the hottest babe in town," Octavia shushed her with a wave of her hand. "After all, we wouldn't want to let down our most gracious host," this Octavia said while looking directly at Lexa.

Lexa swallowed and looked impassively back at Octavia, trying to remain composed in front of her _Seelehalb_ , to prove that she wasn't affected by her presence in the slightest. However, she must have failed spectacularly because Clarke was desperately trying to hold in a smile and Octavia just looked at her in mild amusement, although there was definitely something else lurking there that Lexa couldn't quite identify.

"You are expected to attend the General's Meeting, Clarke. That is where we will introduce our plan to bring down the _Maunon_. Do not be late." Lexa looked angrily at Octavia when she said this, as if daring the younger brunette to defy her. But it was Clarke, not Octavia, who took the bait.

"Octavia is my general. She will accompany me to the meeting. Plus, she has valuable information about the Mountain that we will need if we are to be successful." The childlike humor had left her eyes, and all that was left was stubborn determination, and mild pain. Octavia looked at Clarke with deep admiration and respect, but Lexa saw her eyes become glossy, blurring the startling blue of her irises.

The young brunette reached out to grasp Clarke's hand. Lexa recognized it as a sign of gratitude, but her suspicions for why were ripped away when the blonde pulled the younger girl into a tight hug and said, "We'll get him back, O. I won't let you lose the man you love."

It was horrible, but Lexa's entire body flooded with relief when Clarke said this. Octavia was indeed courting another person, and she knew that neither girl was the type to interfere sacred nature of that. Lexa stood silently, watching the girls hug until they separated. "When the sun is high in the sky, I will have someone escort you both to the throne room." Her voice was still filled with the lingering feeling of utter relief, but she managed to make it sound authoritative enough. Both girls nodded at her, and then Octavia moved to turn Lexa around and force her out of the room. Lexa quickly turned and flipped the girl over, a snarl on her lips.

"Gods, there was no need for that!" The girl said with a groan. "I need you to leave so I can dress Clarke up. Can't have you seeing the surprise before its finished." This was also groaned, but a smirk was back on her face. Lexa looked down at the girl, before looking up at Clarke. The blonde had her face covered with her hands, and Lexa took a small moment to admire her beautiful, long fingers. She was interrupted by a small cough from Octavia, and Lexa glared at her.

"I'll see you later, Lex," Clarke sighed. "Now you should probably leave before Octavia throws you out," her voice was joking, but the warning was real.

Lexa scoffed at this, "She could try," she said before turning and striding out of the room. Once she had exited, she turned the corner and stood with her back pressed up against the wall. She heard Clarke's voice admonishing the younger brunette. "You can't threaten the Commander, Octavia! She could kill you in a hundred different ways within the space of a minute." Lexa preened slightly at this, but blushed when she heard Octavia's response.

"Oh, you chose well, Clarkey. I'm so proud." There was a loud slap and a small gasp from Octavia. Lexa smiled as she removed herself from her spot against the wall and walked back down the hall to her own room.


	17. Chapter 17

_Clarke's POV_

The meeting had progressed for nearly half the sun's travel around the sky, leaving the world at the edge of plunging into darkness. Clarke was extremely bored because the meeting progressed at a snail-like pace. All of the generals argued with each other and it took Lexa a candle mark to settle everyone down and to begin business. Another two candle marks had passed and the room was rioting. Spittle was flying, and words were hurled at opponents like the sharpest of daggers. Lexa had barely introduced the idea of rallying the clans to fight off the _Maunon_ , when the weaponless battle had begun.

Clarke stood off to the side and was content to simply watch everything unfold until it was her turn to talk, but instead she was dragged into the limelight by a large general who had asked his _Heda_ where she had gotten the idea. When Lexa motioned to her, the fighting stopped and every head turned in her direction. She cringed internally, but on the outside she remained strong and firm, her face calmly impassive. Then came the indignant remarks about her being _Skaikru_ , which were followed by less then cleverly hidden insults to both her and Lexa. A particularly vicious one was spat at Lexa, and before her guards could do anything except bristle, Clarke had strode across the room and picked the man up by the throat.

Her vision misted over, and she felt the Wolf Spirit rise within her. She could hear Octavia behind her, but she paid it no mind. All she could focus on was the intense anger and protective instincts that had broken through the floodgate within her. ' _How dare that impudent man insult her mate,'_ she thought. Her fingers tightened around his throat and she felt her muscles twitching. Her canines grew and her eyes darkened into stormy orbs. She tried to control the change, and to prevent it from taking her over, and for the most part she was successful.

Her canines were still the two and a half inch sabers, and her strength and anger had increased, but she remained in human form. The fear in the man's eyes was comical and Clarke let out a barking laugh, which she saw sent shivers down the backs of everyone within the room. "You will show respect or I will rip your throat out," she said clearly, a snarl obvious in her voice. And with that she dropped the man on the floor, leaving him to rub his neck and mutter curses after her.

"Well if it isn't _Heda's_ little guard dog," came a smirking voice from right beside her. She twirled around to find a woman with pale, white skin and prominent facial scars standing in front of her. Clarke was filled with a cold fury that seeped through to her bones, and ran wild through her veins to her heart.

"I belong to no one." The truth was harsh and it momentarily slapped her in the face, causing her heart to clench and a feeling of loneliness to push past the all-consuming rage.

The woman tutted and moved forward to pat Clarke's head, "Of course you don't, little pup," the woman smirked. Clarke grabbed her hand and clenched it tightly, smiling grotesquely when she heard the bones breaking underneath her fingers. The woman cried out in pain, although it was quickly muffled.

"I have more power than you will ever have," Clarke stated simply, her Spirit taking control. She locked her eyes with the woman's cold steel ones and saw awe, fear, and disbelief. She poured her dominance into her gaze, using her status as an Alpha in her pack to force the older woman to submit. There were shocked gasps from the attendees in the room when the woman fell to her knees, head bowed, in front of Clarke.

Clarke let the woman's broken hand drop from her own, and her gaze became fixed on the group of people in front of her. "Now," she said calmly, "Who stands with me?"

A woman with dark, unruly curls stepped forward. She had an amused smile on her face, and kindness woven into the creases of her face. "I, _Luna_ _kom_ _Floundukru_ , stand with _Clarke_ _kom_ _Skaikru_ , _Wulfheda_ and _Gekozen_." Slowly, every other general and leader joined her cause. All except the _Azgedakru_ , whose queen sat hunched on the floor in front of her.

Clarke looked around and latched her eyes onto Lexa's own. She smiled slightly at the awestruck brunette in front of her, "Are we finished, _Heda_?" She asked, her voice becoming light, and the Spirit's hold falling away, leaving Clarke firmly in place. Lexa nodded once and everyone in the room dropped to their knees in front of her, before rising and leaving the room, many of them muttering to their compatriots and shooting quick glances in Clarke's direction.

Octavia came up behind her, touching her lightly on the shoulder. "That was the most badass thing I have every seen." There was a question hidden behind her words, but Clarke did not feel like explaining at the moment.

"I'll tell you everything later, O. But, for now, we need to get ready for the celebration ceremony." Nodding once at Lexa, Clarke took her leave, an excited Octavia following in her wake.

 _Lexa's POV_

Lexa sat on her throne on the dais placed at the head of the town's plaza. She felt like a petulant child, having seen no glimpse of golden hair during the entire celebration. She knew that the blonde would arrive, but having to wait was infuriating. She looked at her people milling around. Some were engaged in deep conversation, others were playing drinking games or dancing. A large banquet table was placed on the side of the plaza, where the head of the pauna that Clarke had killed was proudly mounted in the middle of the table. Its meat would be used to provide the majority of the meal tonight, along with an assortment of breads and winter vegetables.

Originally, Clarke's gift of a deer would have been used for her celebratory party, but due to her injury, Lexa had been forced to postpone Clarke's introduction until tonight. It was then that she noticed the plaza had fallen silent, and all heads were swiveled in the direction of the entrance. Lexa felt as if she was in a dream, her mind going fuzzy, her heart beating faster than should be allowed, and her mouth going dry. There walking towards her was none less than her _Seelehalb_. Clarke was dressed in floor length, shimmering blue gown. It hugged her figure, and matched perfectly with her eyes. In other words, she was stunning.

Lexa momentarily forgot how to breathe until she saw Octavia smirking at her from behind Clarke. The younger girl had mouthed the words, "Breath, Commander," to her with an every growing smirk on her face. Lexa glared at her, but was brought back to staring at Clarke when the blonde gave a small cough.

" _Klark_ _kom_ _Skaikru_ , _Gekozen_ , you honor me with your presence here tonight. I hope that you will have a comfortable stay, and help lead our forces to victory against the _Maunon_." Lexa finished her small speech and the roars of the crowd answered it. For far too long had the Mountain overshadowed them, stealing their loved ones, and making them feel weak in their own homes. Many of her people also knew of the legends of _Gekozen_ , and knew that if their _Heda_ refused to work with the girl, their people would die. This alone provided enough reason for her people to support Clarke, but Lexa knew that her people also greatly admired the blonde's justice and power, thinking her an ideal match for their _Heda_.

She stole a quick glance at the girl beside her and saw a light pink blush rising up the blonde's beautiful porcelain gaze. It made want pool inside of Lexa, and her core fill with an uncomfortable heat. Her mouth watered and she wanted to badly to make the girl hers. It was foretold that there was a limited amount of time to bond Gekozen and her mate before chaos would reign freely over the lands and both partners would die. Lexa was unwilling to let that happen, and she knew that to prevent it, the Bonding must take place within the next two weeks.

She was hedging her will power to stay an appropriate distance away from Clarke when an excited squeal permeated through the roars of the crowd and a small boy ran towards the dais, his arms outstretched and a smile on his face. She recognized him immediately as Mari, and she subtly motioned to her guards to let the boy pass. Clarke moved towards him and scooped him up into her arms, twirling him around before placing him on her hip. The blonde let out a laugh, and Lexa felt herself go weak in the knees. She had fallen in love with that sound the first time she heard it, and now was no different.

She watched as Mari leaned into Clarke and whispered something in her ear. She smiled and nodded before stepping off of the dais, Octavia following behind her. Then came more screams and shouts of delight as tens more children ran through the mass group of people to crowd around Clarke. They wrapped their small hands into her clothes and around her body, pulling her with them as Octavia followed behind looking amused. The children lead Clarke to a small stage in the children's sector of the plaza. It was a place for the older children to put on small plays for the entertainment of the younger while their parents partied and enjoyed themselves.

The young children pushed the two girls onto the stage and looked at them expectantly. Lexa found herself curious and she rose from her throne to join the children and adults who had crowded around the small stage. Both girls wore feline masks, and had placed on several tan animal skins over their formal clothes. It was Octavia who stepped forward to introduce their act. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you… The Lion King."

Lexa watched in amusement and wonder and the two girls began to weave together a story, making the children fall in love with Simba, and sow anger at Scar's betrayal to Mufasa. The songs that the girls sang were humorous and caused many a giggle to spill from the children's mouths, even a couple of adults. The love that grew between Simba and Nala as Simba fought for his homeland was harder for Lexa to watch, seeing as it was played between Clarke and Octavia, but she pushed those feelings aside to enjoy the rest of the play. The children gasped in shock when Simba was thrown over the cliff by Scar, conveniently played by Octavia who had switched costumes only moments before, and then screamed in victory when Simba killed Scar once and for all.

When the play was finished, both Octavia and Clarke stripped off their costumes and bowed to the thundering applause directed at them by their every growing audience. Lexa clapped along with the crowd, still thinking along the story plotline. It was essentially about a young boy whose father and homeland had been destroyed by his uncle, only for the boy to rise from the ashes with the help of his people to come back stronger than before. It reminded her greatly of Mari's story, and she gasped softly in recognition. The story was for Mari, showing him the way towards greatness and towards peace. Although Mari didn't know it yet, Lexa was sure he would appreciate the thought later in life.

She watched as Clarke leaned in to whisper something into Octavia's ear to cause the brunette's jaw to drop and indignation to fill her eyes. Lexa desperately wanted to know what her _Seelehalb_ had said, but she contented herself approach the stage, heading straight for Clarke. The blonde's face was now fully flushed from the heat of the mask and the embarrassment of praise. Lexa thought she looked radiant. She ascended the stage and reached for Clarke's hand, brushing her lips against the girl's knuckles. Octavia snickered under her breath, but Lexa ignored her, placing all of her attention on her _Seelehalb_. She watched as Clarke's blush became even more pronounced, and heard the blonde girl's breathing quicken and start to come in sharp gasps.

Her people hooted and hollered as Lexa purred, "What a captivating performance, my _Seelehalb_." She heard Clarke gulp and Lexa moved her gaze so that her eyes were caught up in Clarke's. The blonde girl's eyes had darkened considerably, and Lexa read lust and longing in their blue depths. Lexa smirked and dropped Clarke's hand, holding out her arm instead. Clarke took it without hesitation, and Lexa lead the two of them off the stage and towards the food.

 _Clarke's POV_

She sat at the head of the table by Lexa's side, eating roasted pauna meat, which had been seasoned with herbs that she could not identify, no matter how successful she had been in Earth Skills on the Ark. She resisted the urge to moan as she tried the various types of vegetable dishes, mopping up their sauces with freshly baked bread. Growing up on the Ark and surviving off of bland soy products had neglected her tongue to the delights of true flavor, and the sudden bombardment was sending her senses into overdrive. Octavia, who was sitting to her right, had no such reservations about showing her enjoyment over the food. Soft moans were coming from the girl, and several grounders had begun to watch her with curiosity and amusement in their eyes.

A woman, sitting to Lexa's left, was one of such onlookers and directed her next comment at both Clarke and Octavia. "You seem to be enjoying the food." There was smile on her face, and mirth in her eyes. Octavia's mouth was stuffed to the brim, and she looked at Clarke desperately, begging her to answer.

Clarke laughed lightly, "On the Ark we lived off of soy products, which were genetically engineered to contain the appropriate levels of nutrients that our bodies needed. Neither Octavia or I had ever eaten meat or fresh produce before coming to the ground." The woman, who Clarke recognized as Luna from the meeting earlier, nodded at her answer. Many of the other grounders surrounding them had their eyes open in surprise.

Clarke took a sip of the wine that had been provided. It was a dark red color, dry, and tasted like the berries the delinquents had survived off in the latter part of summer when they had first arrived. "All alcohol was forbidden on the Ark as well," she added. This caused angry murmurs to run down the length of the table, while more and more eyes widened and jaws began to drop.

Another man, sitting beside Luna, spoke. "Tell me, _Gekozen_ , what did you do on the Ark when one of the only two forms of entertainment were forbidden?"

Clarke laughed and asked, "What, pray tell, is the second form of entertainment?" Octavia snorted beside her, causing many grounders to turn their heads in her direction.

"Princess, are you stupid? These people literally do two things: eat and fight. If eating was forbidden, what's left?" Octavia looked at her expectantly and Clarke narrowed her eyes in response.

"Oh, you think you're so smart?" Clarke responded, her mind running through the things she could do to embarrass Octavia in revenge.

Octavia raised an eyebrow, "Oh, jealous are we?" Clarke's eyes narrowed even more and before Octavia knew it, Clarke had picked up Octavia's plate of food and had slammed it into the young brunette's face. The grounders around them roared in laughter as Octavia simply licked her lips and ran her fingers over her face to collect as much of the food as she could to eat.

Clarke rolled her eyes at her friend's behavior before turning back to the man who had asked the question. "We partook in school until the age of fourteen, before we specialized into sub-divisions, and had specialized training courses. I was just about to finish my medical schooling when I was arrested. And Octavia never even went to school since she was an illegal child." Octavia nodded with her, affirming her words.

The man shook his head, "You are a criminal, _Gekozen_? And what is an illegal child?" Clarke sighed, pausing to take another bite of food before answering.

"I was arrested because I had information that the Council did not want released. So, they put me in solitary confinement, planning to float me when I turned eighteen." She gulped at the painful memory, her voice going emotionless.

"As for an illegal child, it refers to any second child born to the same mother. Octavia only managed to live because her brother hid her for sixteen years under the floor of the Ark." The grounders around her nodded, and another woman spoke up.

"What is floating?" Clarke's throat constricted and tears started to form in her eyes. She pushed them away, forcing herself to remain strong in front of her new allies.

"Floating is when a person is ejected into space. It is a painful death." Clarke's voice was empty and hoarse, her hands clenching and unclenching underneath the table. She looked up in surprise when another hand joined hers under the table, wrapping around her stiff ones, and pulling them into a warm hold. Lexa looked at her with understanding, green eyes and Clarke allowed her lips to twitch slightly in thanks.

Lexa's voice rose of the commotion at the table, cutting effectively through the noise. "Enough of this. Let the celebration begin." She offered her hand to Clarke, and Clarke took it looking curiously at Lexa. "It's time for the children to go to bed, and the adults drink and dance." Clarke nodded in understanding, letting Lexa lead her to an open area in the middle of the plaza. Music was playing and Lexa started to sway slightly, leading Clarke along with her. Clarke stumbled along, trying desperately to be as elegant and graceful as her partner, but failed spectacularly.

" _Klark_ ," Lexa admonished her, "Let me lead. Close your eyes and let your body move." So the blonde did. When she opened them, they had finally stopped, and a thunderous applause greeted her ears. She grinned widely and looked up at Lexa, who was preening under the applause and Clarke's attention. Other pairs started to flood the dance floor, Octavia and Luna both battling for dominance in the dance, leading them to trip over each other's feet and snarl at each other. Clarke laughed at their antics, and laced her fingers through Lexa's.

She saw Lexa's eyes widen slightly in surprise, and a rare smile grace her stoic face. Lexa pulled her hand to her lips, brushing kisses along her knuckles while Clarke felt herself melt in response. Lexa purred contentedly, and leaned into whisper into Clarke's ear. "How about a drink, my _Seelehalb_?" Clarke felt herself going weak in the knees and she leaned into Lexa, trying to hide her face from the shame of it all. Lexa was seducing her, and said woman had her feeling like a blushing schoolgirl.

Clarke could not speak, so she nodded in response before being led away to a separate table that had varying barrels sitting on it. It was surrounded by laughing people, all of them holding wooden cups with different color liquids sloshing within them. Clarke was curious and when Lexa shoved a drink into her hand, she sniffed it experimentally before taking a small sip. She made a face as the bitter liquid burned a trail down her throat. Lexa chuckled slightly before taking a drink of her own brew, not even making a face as she swallowed. Clarke scowled at her and took a larger sip of her own concoction in response. She almost gagged, but by a small miracle, managed to swallow it in entirety.

Lexa's smirk widened as she took another sip large enough to rival Clarke's. Soon they drew a crowd from their competitive drinking game. By this time, Clarke could feel a strange buzzing in her head and lightness in her extremities. She giggled in giddiness, and saw Lexa raise an eyebrow. Clarke raised her drink for another sip when Octavia collided into her. "Clarkey, you should like really come with me right now because I found something really cool." The other girl was slurring her words and Clarke laughed but followed the other girl, her drunken brain not thinking clearly enough to expect anything unusual from Octavia. Lexa frowned as they left, but did not bother to follow. When they had reached the closest building Octavia pulled out some clothes and a bundle of wires.

"Tavs, what the hell is this?" She received no answer expect having two pieces of clothing shoved in her face.

"Put it on, Princess." Clarke frowned, but started pulling off her dress and putting on the other clothes when Octavia huffed, "You promised, Clarkey," with an extreme pouty lip. Octavia had given her booty shorts and shirt that barely covered her bra. Clarke looked at Octavia, who was wearing the same thing.

"You're a babe, Clarkey," Octavia slurred into her ear. Clarke giggled, and then pointed to the wires. Octavia grinned broadly, but didn't answer her friend's question. Clarke let herself be pulled along a small alleyway until they were standing in front of a large, metal pole. Clarke was confused but just stood there with a dopey smile on her face as Octavia fiddled with the wires, pausing to connect some every once in a while with the pole. Suddenly there was a loud bang and sound started pouring out of the pole, which Clarke drunkenly thought must be a sort of speaker.

She was pulled through the shocked crowd until she and Octavia were standing on the dais where Lexa's throne sat. Lexa had approached them, and without warning, Octavia grabbed the Commander's hand and pushed her onto her throne. Clarke heard Lexa growl warningly, but she stayed where she was. Clarke let out and excited squeal when she recognized the song (*Cue in Rude Boy by Rihanna). Octavia grabbed her hand and yelled, "Show her what you got, Princess!"

 _Lexa's POV_

She growled as she was pushed into a sitting position on her throne. Octavia yelled something to Clarke, but Lexa had stopped listening the moment she saw what the blonde was wearing. There was barely anything covered, and Lexa felt her mouth go dry. Clarke had started dancing in front of her, singing along with the lyrics. The blonde was directing all of her words at Lexa, while swaying in front of her. Lexa could see the curve of her butt hanging out from her shorts, and almost fainted in shock as Clarke slid up to her seductively, and sat on her lap.

The blonde rocked her hips in pace to the music on Lexa's, causing Lexa to emit a muffled groan in response. Heat pooled between her legs and she craved more. She put her hands on Clarke's thighs, and moved them up and down, trying to feel as much of the blonde as was possible. Lexa needed more. She wanted to feel the blonde underneath her, to hear her screaming her name. She was lost in a world of desire, and her arms encircled the blonde's body, pulling the other girl into her body. Lexa nuzzled Clarke's neck and felt a primal urge run through her. She brought her mouth over the girl's pulse point, pausing to suckle on the spot, before moving lower down. Right as the song ended, she placed her mouth over the juncture of the blonde's neck and shoulder, and bit down.


	18. Chapter 18

_Lexa's POV_

Her teeth sank into the pale, succulent skin of her _Seelehalb's_ neck. Hot blood flowed into her mouth, soothing the aching burn of primal desire that had previously consumed her. Clarke's blood was sweet and intoxicating, making Lexa's head spin and her heart pound. With reluctance she released her hold on the blonde girl's neck, feeling rivulets of hot blood running down her face. Clarke had stiffened and when Lexa loosened her grip, a keening howl sprang from her mouth into the night sky. The first part of the Bonding was complete.

Lexa felt content, her heart a little less broken, and the ever-present feeling of loneliness abated. She purred contentedly as Clarke's wolf-song ended, but her satisfaction ended when the girl fell limp and collapsed off of Lexa's lap onto the floor. She stared down at the twitching girl in confusion, not knowing what was wrong. A feeling of intense panic filled her and it was only heightened by the growing fear and sadness of the people around her. They knew of the legends and stories of old.

Lexa fell from her throne, collapsing on her knees beside Clarke. She pulled the twitching girl into her arms, feeling more shame than happiness when she saw the deep bite mark on her _Seelehalb's_ neck. "Clarke, you need to fight! You can't leave me, _ai_ _Hodnes_ , not now!" Suddenly Anya was by her side, dragging an older woman with her. The old woman reached out a wrinkled hand to touch Clarke, but Anya smacked it away when Lexa let out a primal snarl, her green eyes darkening in fear, anger, and possessiveness.

The woman was a _Keryonfisa_ (spirit healer). Lexa recognized that by her distinctive face paint and the words she was muttering over Clarke's body. "May I touch her, _Heda_?" Lexa growled by nodded her head in acquiescence. The woman's papery hands flitted up along Clarke's body, tracing her tattoo and brushing lightly over the fresh mark on the blonde's neck. The old woman bowed her head and sighed heavily.

"What is wrong?" Anya snapped at the Keryonfisa.

"The Bonding was unsuccessful. She is dying." Lexa clutched the body of her Seelehalb closer to her.

"No, she is not dying. I will not allow it. How do I fix this?" Lexa growled angrily at the woman in front of her.

"There is a way, Heda. But it will be very dangerous, to her and to you." The woman warned her, although by the look in her eyes she already knew what Lexa would say in response.

"I'll do it." She heard her people cheer for her, and her determination held steady. "What do I do?" She whispered to the woman beside her.

The woman looked to Anya, and then back at Lexa, "She needs your blood to complete the first part of the ceremony." Lexa did not hesitate. She took the dagger out of her and prepared herself to slice through the delicate membrane of her wrist. The woman stopped her by laying a frail hand upon hers. "It must come from the same place you took blood from her." Lexa nodded and moved the blade to her neck, making a small incision and felt the blood trickle down her past her collarbones and onto her black shirt. She raised Clarke's head and placed the girl's mouth on the cut, stroking her throat gently to coax her to swallow. Clarke's twitching stopped and the felt the mouth on her neck clamp down and begin to suck.

It sent jolts of pleasure through Lexa, and it saddened her when the blonde released her neck, falling into a dead faint in her arms. Lexa looked to the _Keryonfisa_ for information, and saw relief on the old woman's face. "She has accepted you, that is very good." The woman nodded at her own words, pausing for a moment before continuing. " _Heda_ , you must visit with the Spirit. She is keeping Clarke safe with Her." The woman sighed. "If you can convince Her to return Clarke to you…." The _Keryonfisa_ had a look of doubt on her face, but nonetheless she looked at Lexa with veiled hope in her eyes.

Lexa stood, lifting Clarke with her in the bridal position. Lexa almost laughed, she had dreamt about doing this, but the reality was oh so different. Anya and the _Keryonfisa_ , along with her personal guards, followed her back up the torch-lit streets towards Lexa's palace. Her people murmured their support as they left, their feelings of attachment to their _Heda_ and her mate shown clearly through their words. The elevator ride was quiet, but Lexa's mind was screaming.

She led the small group to her personal chambers, where the four of them entered, leaving the guards outside. Lexa lay Clarke down gently on the large bed, and the blonde girl looked as if she was simply sleeping. The Keryonfisa motioned for Lexa to roll Clarke onto her stomach and to remove her chest fastening, which Lexa simply ripped it off with the use of her dagger, having no idea how to remove it otherwise. She could see the beautiful tattoo that ran up the body of her mate, and she ached to run her fingers along it, so she did. She felt a surge of power flow through her, and a presence that was both Clarke but not. She felt fire course through her veins, and the blackness took her.

 _Clarke's POV_

She awoke in a familiar cave, on the same fur covered bed that she had awoken on during her first encounter with the Spirit. Her mind felt fuzzy and dim, and there was a dull pain on her shoulder. She lifted a hand wearily to probe at the pain and felt a slightly damp cloth wrapped around her neck and shoulder. She removed her hand and saw blood, but a part of her was simply too tired to care.

She was too exhausted to move, so she lay still on the bed, letting her mind wander. She saw shades of green blending on the canvas of her closed eyelids, while she felt the gentle caress of touch on her back, tracing the lines of her tattoo. It was so familiar and Clarke wanted to sink into the feeling, to never let it go. Somewhere deep in her subconscious she heard a voice yelling out for her, and she vaguely thought of Lexa. Her mind was still too fuzzy to put everything together, but she did realize that she missed the brunette.

She frowned, wanting to feel the brunette beside her, but not being able to. Clarke didn't want to fight what she was feeling; she just wanted to sink into the love that her _Seelehalb_ showed her. Love, Clarke shuddered. She lost everyone she loved: her father, the delinquents, and now Lexa. A feeling on intense loneliness crept up on her and grasped at her heart, pulling her back into the abyss of her fears. She fought, her body struggling hard against its clutches, but she stopped when she heard a melodic voice echo around the cavernous room.

"Do not fear, Clark. She will come." Clarke tried to believe. Lexa would come for her. Lexa would save her from the crippling paralysis that kept her stiff and unable to move on the bed of furs, which were slowly being covered in her blood. There was a popping sound and moments later a figure stumbled into the room, swaying back and forth slightly, swearing quietly. Clarke held her breath when the figure entered the light, and then suddenly Lexa was there, standing in front of her. Clarke heard a broken sob come from the brunette as she raced to Clarke's side. Clarke felt her breathing coming in gasps at the shock of seeing her _Seelehalb_ here, and her hands clawed at the furs underneath her, trying to regain control of her body.

Lexa's hands traced over her body, leaving flaming trails behind on Clarke's skin. Lexa took her time, delicately working her way over the entirety of her mate's body, as if memorizing the sight and feeling. " _Leska_ ," she croaked, " _Leska_." The brunette's head snapped up and her hands cradled Clarke's head.

" _Yu_ _gonplei_ _no_ _ste_ _odon_ , _Klark_ , _ai_ _Hodnes_. Stay with me." Clarke's body twitched and her eyes fluttered closed, her breathing becoming increasingly more labored. Lexa moved her hand to inspect her bite mark on Clarke's neck. It was red and puffy, and foul smelling pus was leaking from the wound. " _Moba_ , _moba_ , _Klark_ (I apologize, I apologize)." Clarke felt Lexa's shame and her remorse, and she tried to placate it, to let her mate know she was not angry.

"Don't be sorry. I love you," she rasped slowly, her body working its hardest to form the words. Clarke felt Lexa lie down beside her, and felt a pressure on her right hand. Lexa had entwined their fingers.

"I will not go anywhere without you, _ai_ _Seelehalb_. If you leave this world, I will go with you. I cannot bear to think of a life without you in it." Clarke heard the tears in Lexa's voice, and the determination of her words. Clarke felt a burn starting in her fingertips and it spread up her arm, tracing the same lines as her tattoo. Burning, her body was burning. She was consumed in an inferno, her veins withering from heat, and her mind exploding from pain. What kept her grounded was the constant pressure on her hand, the constant reminder that Lexa was with her. Never once did that hand leave hers, and at the peak of the pain she heard the Spirit's voice.

"I bind _Leksa_ _kom_ _Trikru_ to _Klark_ _kom_ _Skaikru_ as one under the power of the Great Spirit."

Instantly the pain began to fade, although a faint burn was left across her skin, leaving her feeling prickly and vulnerable. She clenched her eyes and gripped Lexa's hand tightly. The room was spinning and her stomach dropped lower in her abdomen, making bile rise up her throat. Finally the room stabilized and Clarke opened her eyes. She was lying next to Lexa on Lexa's bed in the Tower. On the table across the room was an assortment of different food and drink, and in the corner was a bathtub, with different soaps and oils sitting by it. She stared in wonder at the normalcy around her, thanking the Spirit for giving her a second chance.

She felt Lexa stir beside her, and realized her hand was still wrapped in Lexa's. She leaned over her _Seelehalb_ , brushing stray hairs out of her face and tracing the planes of her lover's cheekbones and jawline. Out of corner of her eye she noticed that Lexa's tattoo that had previously been on one arm, now reached down on the other arm as well. Clarke looked at her own arms, and noticed that her other arm was tattooed as well. She extracted herself from Lexa's grasp and moved towards the mirror next to the bath. She removed her light nightshirt and examined her skin. The entirety of her back, arms, and chest were covered in the swirling dark, tribal patterns. She touched the new marks and looked at Lexa's, noticing that they were the same.

' _We're bonded,'_ Clarke thought, her mind still trying to process everything that had happened. The massive amounts of alcohol she had consumed blocked many of the memories of the celebration, but she remembered the feelings of love she experienced with Lexa.

" _Klark_ ," a feminine voice rasped from behind her. Clarke froze, a tidal wave of joy and affection filling her. She turned slowly, hardly daring to believe her senses. But there was Lexa, lying peacefully on the bed, without war paint or the weight of her people on her back. Clarke smiled broadly and ran back to the bed. She straddled Lexa and bent down, cupping Lexa's face in her hands. She pressed a heated kiss to her lover's lips and felt something click within her. For the first time in her life, she felt whole.

 **Keep it up guys! The fun is only beginning. Next we'll have epic amounts of uncontainable fluff, the battle against the Maunon, and the reunion of Clarke's delinquent family.**


	19. Chapter 19

_Lexa's POV_

Lexa's mind gradually drifted into the conscious world. She felt the after effects of the fire on her skin, leaving it tingly and raw. Her eyes fluttered open and she found herself lying on her bed within her own personal rooms. Her body felt the lack of Clarke's presence next to her, so she lifted her gaze slightly to see the shirtless blonde admiring her upper body in the mirror. Lexa's mouth went dry at the sight, and her already foggy brain malfunctioned. The tattoos that covered Clarke's body were a perfect match to her and Clarke's tattoos formed into one. She heard whispers from the past commanders in her head, congratulating her on a successful first Bonding.

She looked down onto her own arms and saw that her own tattoos mirrored Clarke's perfectly. She tried to open her mouth and to speak, but the dryness of had sealed it shut. Nonetheless she managed to rasp out, " _Klark_." She watched as the young woman before her froze, and then turned around. Lexa stared into her blue eyes, reading love and desire within their azure depths. The blonde ran towards her and then jumped on the bed, making Lexa's sensitive skin rub against the furs. By the time Lexa's mouth had allowed her to groan slightly from the pain, her pink lips had been covered by another set of anxious ones.

She lost herself in the feelings of love and completeness that she felt with Clarke on top of her, their bodies and souls connected as one. Eventually the blonde pulled away, leaving both of them gasping and trying to control their breathing. Lexa felt her lips twitch into a smile as the looked at the angel above her. She felt so undeserving of the love that was bestowed upon her, but she pushed those feelings away, content with simply gazing at her mate above her. Her hands flitted over Clarke's bare torso, lightly tracing the tribal designs with elegant fingers.

She moved her hands up to push Clarke's hair away from her neck to look at the bite mark. It was completely healed, leaving two silver, crescent scars in its place. ' _So, blood must have blood,'_ she mused. _'I needed her blood to survive, and in return she needed mine. The sacrifice and vulnerability needed to perform this step enables the first part of the Bonding.'_ Lexa grazed her fingers over the two moons, and was surprised when Clarke let out a loud moan and collapsed on top of her panting.

Clarke turned her head so that her mouth was next to Lexa's ear. It was hard for Lexa to focus on Clarke's mumbled words when she could feel the pricks of Clarke's hardened nipples through her thin shirt. But she managed to draw her mind away from her body's pleasure to listen to Clarke for a few seconds, but what the blonde girl said only made Lexa's need grow. "If you do that again, I will take you here and now, and I will not be able to stop myself."

Lexa smirked and moved her mouth to suck on the mark on Clarke's neck. She grazed her teeth over it, fitting her mouth into the exact position that it had been last night. Using her tongue, she flitted over the marks after her teeth had left. Clarke was practically screaming on top of her. The blonde girl's body was writhing in pleasure, screams and moans pouring out of her mouth.

Lexa slipped her thigh in between Clarke's legs, feeling a pool of wetness slick across her tanned skin as she brushed up against Clarke's underwear. She moved her leg back and forth slowly, as her hands caressed Clarke's abdomen, lighting teasing, and then scraping down hard when Clarke found her own mark on Lexa's neck. Clarke let her body rock Lexa's thighs, desperately trying to find that blissful pressure that she needed. Lexa could feel her own core growing hot and wet, but the sounds that Clarke was making was enough for Lexa… for now.

Lexa moved her hands down across Clarke's smooth stomach, dipping fingers into the waistband of Clarke's underpants. Clarke grabbed her hair and pulled sharply. Lexa smiled and continued with her slow movements. She ran her finger under the waistband several times before it slipped lower and entered Clarke's slit. She immediately found her lover's hardened clit and began to tease it, starting gentle and then becoming ruthless in her ministrations. When Lexa clamped her jaws down on the bite mark, Clarke stiffened and cried out in pleasure, coming over Lexa. After the shudders left her Seelehalb's body, she felt the blonde relax and let her body weigh down on Lexa's own.

Lexa purred in response, most of her need sated but not all of it. She ran her long fingers through the beautiful blonde hair splayed over her chest, massaging Clarke's scalp. Eventually Clarke managed to gather enough energy to role off of Lexa, and Lexa missed her comforting weight on top of her. She pulled at Clarke, begging her to stay instead of slipping out of bed, but it was to no avail. The blonde smirked at her before dropping her drenched underpants to the floor. "I warned you what would happen, love."

Lexa's smile widened as Clarke sidled up to the bed again, swaying her hips seductively. She crawled on top of the furs and pulled them down until Lexa lay there exposed to the chill of the winter air. With a gentle, and almost torturous, slowness, Clarke slid Lexa's underpants down her legs, leaving her bottom half completely bare. Lexa felt her desire grow and she moaned, reaching for Clarke and trying to pull her closer. "Patience is a virtue, love," she heard Clarke admonish her, but Lexa was too caught up to pay much attention, she simply moaned and pushed her hips closer to Clarke.

Her eyes widened as she felt a kiss planted on her thigh, followed by several more nips, licks, and suckles. She nearly cried in joy when Clarke's tongue flitted to her slit, pushing both folds away and taking a long taste of Lexa. Clarke applied the same torture to her clit as she had her legs, and soon Lexa felt herself growing close to her climax. She tried to alert Clarke, to let her know, but all she managed was a desperate mewling sound. She clenched her fingers into Clarke's hair and her thighs tightened around her lover's face. When Clarke penetrated Lexa with her tongue and brushed her nose against Lexa's clit at the same time, Lexa felt herself unravel completely, coming several times into Clarke's mouth.

She saw stars and her heart felt giddy and light. She let the feelings run through her, drawing pleasure from each one. Eventually her high dropped and weariness took her. She gazed through half-lidded eyes at Clarke, who was kneeling on the bed in between Lexa's toned legs. Lexa subconsciously licked her lips and she watched as Clarke smirked and then let out a low chuckle. Lexa savored the sound, wanting to capture it perfectly in her memory, but she was interrupted when a small hand slipped into her own. She watched as her fingers curled around Clarke's, and then let herself be pulled out of bed behind Clarke.

She stared in amazement at her lover's perfect body, studying each curve and plane. Clarke led her to the bathtub, which was filled with steaming water. It seemed that servants had filled it shortly before they had awoken. Clarke let their hands separate, and Lexa watched as her lover slipped into the hot water, letting out pleasurable moans in response to its heat. Lexa smirked at her before pulling off her own shirt, letting it drop the floor beside Clarke's own clothes. She loved the way Clarke's eyes traced down her body, her pupils dilating and filling with lust. She walked towards the bath and slipped into it.

They spent the next candle mark savoring the warmth of the water and rubbing soaps and conditioners into each other's skin and hair. Eventually the water cooled and both women exited the bath, dried off and got dressed in warm, winter clothes. Once dressed, Lexa walked towards the table where food and drink were placed, along with a note from Anya.

 **Heda and Gekozen,**

 **We await your presence in the throne room to discuss the impending war on the Maunon.**

 _Clarke's POV_

She watched as Lexa made her way to the table in the corner, picking up a small scrap of paper and looking at it intensely. Clarke wondered what was on the paper, but she decided she would ask Lexa once she had finished getting dressed. Clarke turned around in a circle several times looking for her second boot. She pumped her fist in victory when she found it, and then tried to pull it on while making her way over to Lexa. Suddenly, her feet slid out from under her and with a muffled groan she fell onto the floor. She closed her eyes in embarrassment and pain, and felt the heat creeping up her neck and painting her pale cheeks pink.

She heard the sound of a chair scraping against the tiled floor, and then suddenly Lexa was by her side. There was mirth in her eyes, but concern on her face. "You act like a _goufa_ , _ai_ _Niron_ ," Lexa said while she put Clarke's boot on for her, and then pulled her into a standing position. Clarke scowled at her before stalking over to the table. She picked up the note and saw the message. She looked at Lexa curiously before returning her attention to the food on the table, picking up several pieces of meat and bread and adding them to her plate.

After eating, Clarke let Lexa lead her down to the throne room, where they had met yesterday afternoon for the General's meeting. They entered the room and immediately all conversation stops. Heads swiveled to look at them, and everyone fell to their knees. Lexa paused, Clarke stopping beside her, and nods at them, giving them permission to rise once more. Clarke follows Lexa to the dais, where her throne sits looking wild and regal. Next to it is a similar throne, but slightly more feminine, with hints of blue instead of red. Clarke moves to stand next to Lexa's throne but is motioned to by Lexa to sit in the throne beside her.

" _Klark_ _kom_ _Skaikru_ , _osir_ _Gekozen_ , and I have completed the Bonding. She is your _Hedatu_ and any attack on her will be considered an attack on me." The leaders and generals nodded in acceptance, a few even raising their glasses to the new couple. They had seen the power that Clarke held and they doubted few else could ever equal their _Heda_ in such a way. There was a silence before Lexa spoke again. "Let the meeting commence."

Lexa had talked with her people about the logistics of war, about supplies, and warrior numbers. While Clarke on the other hand, had moved with Octavia to the side of the room where the brunette was detailing to Clarke the layout of the Mountain. Clarke drew as Octavia described the entrances, exits, hallways, rooms, and floor layout. She used charcoal to sketch the maps, and made extra sure not to smudge any portion of her drawing. When she was finished, she and Octavia returned to the war table, which had been placed in the middle of the room.

Clarke laid the maps out on the table's surface before stepping back and allowing Lexa and the other clan representatives to study them. The conversation slipped back and forth between English and Trigedasleng, and Clarke followed along to the best of her ability. She knew that one of the main concerns was going to be penetrating the Mountain's stronghold, which would be essential in order to disable the acid fog and open the main gates. Clarke was frustrated by the lack of process and she racked her brains for anything that they could use to solve this problem.

She was lost in her thoughts when she was struck with a revelation. She slammed her fist on the table, and excited and determined look on her face. Everyone turned to look at her, some with confusion, others with barely veiled dislike. "We need an inside man," she said quickly. She looked around and saw blank faces. Her hope dropped slightly until Octavia grasped her hand on the table, squeezing it hard in barely contained excitement.

"Clarke, what we need is a radio!" Clarke turned towards her best friend, her mouth agape.

"Octavia, you are a genius!" Clarke had stopped paying attention to any of the grounders at this point, all her mental power striving to come up with a way to make her plan feasible. "But what we really need is Raven," Clarke sighed. "We could find the technology, but without her, we're lost." She rubbed a hand over her face, sighing in unhappiness.

Octavia gasped beside her, sounding slightly hurt. "Princess, I'll have you know that I have enough skills to put a radio back together." Clarke raised an eyebrow at her.

"I did not realize that you went to Engineering school, O." Octavia glared at her before smacking her lightly on the head with her free hand. Some of the grounders gasped at the young girl's antics, expecting a fierce backlash from Clarke or Lexa.

"I might not have gone to school, Princess, but I spent enough time watching Raven tinker with those things." Clarke looked thoughtful, but did not hesitate in her response.

"If you can do it…." Octavia nodded, her head practically bobbing. Clarke felt herself being pulled into a fierce hug, and she let herself melt into the comfort of hope. When Octavia released her, Clarke could hear the girl practically squealing in excitement, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. The girl started chattering quickly about everything she would need, and Clarke could barely understand a word.

"Jesus, O, keep your panties on!" Octavia blushed and Clarke heard Lexa growl under her breath. Clarke decided to ignore the grounders' reaction as she spoke to the group. "There is a way that this can be accomplished. Octavia is willing to lend her skills to repair a communication device that will allow us to make a contact at Mt. Weather. Once in contact, we will have one of our people disable the acid fog, destroy the back-up generators, and unleash your sleeping army."

Clarke looked around the room, seeing Lexa's thoughtful face, as well as the awe-filled and contemplative expressions of many of the leaders and generals around her. Her hope was dashed spoke out. "While your idea seeks to solve this problem, it is a mission that does not have any assurance of working. This is not a plan, Clarke, this is blind hope." She knew that Lexa had to put her people her first, but to experience the full force of the Commander, instead of her _Seelehalb_ , made a part of her heart break. She grew angry, letting her face become emotionless and her voice fill with cold fury.

"I do not see you coming up with any plans of your own, Commander," she spat. "I will get my people back at any cost, whether you choose to partake in that is up to you." She leaned back from the table and grasped Octavia's hand, pulling her from the room and slamming the door after her. She stalked through the hallways, Octavia practically running to keep up with her. After several minutes of descending the stairs, they exited the Tower through the winter-chilled lobby.

She approached the nearest villager that she saw, trying to school her features to hide the rage and fear that had filled her. She asked him desperately where she could find a shop that held technology. He practically cowered in front of her, but managed to point a wobbling finger in the direction of a small alleyway. Clarke smiled at him, but at his expression, she realized it had been more of a feral grin. She pulled Octavia with her through the alley, until they reached a small building where Clarke could smell grease and oil, and saw small bits of wire littering the ground around it.

Clarke knocked once on the wooden post holding the tent up. She heard a non-committal grunt come from inside the tent, and she pulled back the flap, striding inside with Octavia on her heels. There was an old man with whitened hair and wrinkled skin sitting at a workbench fiddling with a large ball of jumbled wires. His hair stuck out in all directions and he muttered strange curses under his breath while fiddling with what was in his hands. Clarke was about to speak in order to grab the attention of the man when he shrieked, "Eureka!" But his joy was short lived when suddenly there was bang full of sparks and smoke. When the smoke had cleared, Clarke and Octavia chuckled when they saw that the old man had singed off his eyebrows in the explosion.

He suddenly looked up, as if noticing for the first time that he had company. " _Gekozen_ , you honor me with your presence. Are you in need of anything?" Clarke paused, before answering his question.

"I need supplies to build a radio, if that's possible." The man looked smitten when she said this. He started chatting animatedly about all of the different electronics that had been found and what he had created. He quickly realized that Clarke did not know anything that he was talking about, but he found a fellow soul in Octavia, who loved to tease him about his creations. Clarke felt a pang in her chest, knowing how much the younger girl missed the sassy mechanic. Clarke waited patiently while the man found what he was searching for. When he returned, he explained that he had created a type of radio, but had never been able to use it. Clarke was overjoyed with this news; they now had a functioning radio.

Clarke was curious how he had developed such a skill in engineering and he told her that his father had been an initial survivor of the Great Wars, and that he had passed all his information off to his son. Clarke did the math and realized that the man must be close to seventy years old, by far the oldest grounder she had seen during her short while on Earth. Octavia asked him if she could fiddle with it and attempt to make a connection. The man nodded excitedly, and bent over the device with Octavia, explaining his creation to her and puzzling out how to work it with her.

"Now if twist this dial, and press this button, we should be able to- ah!" Octavia muttered, gradually getting louder. Clarke whipped around when she heard a sound coming from the radio. Initially, it was full of static, but as the man fiddled with several knobs on the radio, it gradually became more clear. There was a voice talking over the radio and Clarke couldn't hold back a gasp as she recognized Monty's voice.

She grabbed the radio, pushing at the button used to talk. "It's Clarke, Monty. I'm coming to get you, just hold on." There was no answer, but she knew that the message had been sent. There were tears forming in her eyes, and a brief look at Octavia showed that she was feeling the same way. Their plan was possible. They would see their friends very soon.

 _Lexa's POV_

She watched helplessly as Clarke stormed out of the throne room dragging a cursing Octavia with her. Her people looked to her in surprise and she waved a hand angrily at them in a silent dismissal. They all but fled out of the room, the only person remaining behind being Anya. The stoic woman looked at her sharply and then whacked Lexa on the back of the head. "Foolish girl." Lexa gaped at her former mentor, unable to form any response to her actions. "You cannot switch between being _Heda_ and being Lexa like that, you will give her emotional whiplash. She is different than us, she needs you to be gentle and supportive."

"I cannot be supportive when it is wrong. That plan offers no assurance of victory!" Anya looked at her in thinly veiled amusement and frustration.

"Then you be gentle with how you reject her ideas. You completely dashed all of her hopes for ever seeing her people again." Lexa felt like a petulant child who had just been scolded by her elders. She was angry with herself for how she had acted, and she was sad because within the course of a day she had managed to lose her mate already. She could feel Clarke's fury and desperation within her own heart, and she wanted to wrap the girl up in her arms and hide her away from the troubles of the world.

She remembered what Clarke had said to her a week ago about having both Lexa and the Commander inside of her, and having to choose which one she wanted to live as. And Lexa realized, that if she wanted to live the life she had dreamed of as a child with Clarke, she would have to sacrifice some of her people's values to do so. She looked at Anya with fear and hope written on the planes of her face, "What do I do?"


	20. Chapter 20

**I appreciate all my readers and reviewers so so so much! Y'all give me the inspiration to keep on writing. 3 3 – B**

 _Lexa's POV_

"What do I do?" Lexa's face was filled with a nervous fear, and she felt a similar feeling creeping up within her. Her heart clenched as she looked into Anya's eyes, and let out an indignant gasp at her mentor's answer.

"You grovel." Lexa could not believe those words had just exited the older blonde's mouth. Although, deep within her she knew that it was the right thing to do. No matter how much she loved Clarke, she was deeply afraid of showing that weakness in front of her people. Lexa had barely survived Costia's death, and she knew that losing Clarke would be ten times worse. If groveling was what she had to do, then Lexa knew she would sacrifice her dignity to do so. It was time for her to face her fears and to see love as strength instead of as weakness.

Lexa nodded her head dejectedly and felt feelings of fear creep up from within her, causing her breathing to start coming in gasps and her eyes to roll around in her head. She was panicking. What if Clarke wouldn't take her back? If she decided that Lexa didn't love her, and decided to destroy Lexa's people because of it? She felt Anya grasp her by the shoulders, squeezing tightly, and with the help of her old friend, her breathing became slower and more even, the panic slowly ebbing away.

"She is your mate, your _Seelehalb_. She loves you. Now go get her back so I don't have to watch you sniveling like a coward." Lexa glared at Anya when she said this, but felt a newfound determination rise up within her. She would win Clarke back if it was the last thing she ever did.

She lifted her head and straightened her spine, nodded at Anya once in gratitude, and left the throne room. She stormed through the Tower's halls, down the long staircase, and out of the lobby. It was dark outside, but the roads were lit fairly well due to the torches placed every twenty paces or so. Snow had started to fall again, and Lexa wished that she could enjoy its beauty with Clarke beside her. To tell her winter stories and to share the wonders that Polis contained within its walls.

She walked up to an older man who was sitting outside the local tavern, smoking on a long pipe. "Where has _Gekozen_ gone?" The man stared up at her in amazement, his brain obviously addled by the alcohol he had consumed. Lexa was about to clout him over the head and stalk off to ask another when the man cleared his throat and began to speak.

"She went down that alleyway, _Heda_ ," he said, nodding his head in the opposite direction from where they were. Lexa flicked her eyes down in acknowledgment and briskly walked in the direction that the man had pointed out to her. The alleyway was not lit as well as the main roads, and Lexa found herself maneuvering around stray buckets and loose stones. Eventually she reached a small tent, which smelled strongly of oil and grease, both things that Lexa disliked in spades. She knew that Clarke had mentioned something about a radio, and that required technology. The only one of her people that remembered that study from the old world resided here, and Lexa knew that if she were to pull back the tent's flap she would find her mate.

However, Lexa did not pull back the tent flap, nor did she alert any of the tent's occupants to her presence. Something within her told her to stay back in the shadows and to listen to what was being said inside. She heard a loud explosion, and Lexa almost ran inside, her insides clenching uncomfortably in fear for Clarke's safety. But, when she heard peals of laughter coming from inside, she relaxed knowing that her Seelehalb had not suffered any damage.

There were more muffled voices coming from inside, but they were quiet enough that Lexa could not quite hear what was being said. Then she heard a sob come from inside, and she knew that it was from Clarke. Her heart ached, but grew hard when she heard comforting sounds from Octavia soothe the racking heaves coming from the blonde. Suddenly there the faint crackle of technology from inside, Lexa was not exactly sure what it was coming from, but she knew that it was nothing natural.

A voice crackled out from piece of technology, broken and distorted, but distinctly male. Lexa pressed her ear against the side of the tent, making sure to hide in the shadows to prevent the tent's occupants from seeing her own against the tent's walls. "Princess?" She heard another sob from Clarke before her voice answered the boys.

"Bell, is that you?" The voice on the other end assured her that it was and there was a sob that came from the voice, matching the one that came from Clarke. "Everything's going to be fine. I have Octavia. We're going to save you, just hold in there." Clarke sounded blindly hopeful, but there was fierce determination and a steely hardness hidden there too.

"Just thank God you're both safe. But, come quickly, Princess. They've started using our bone marrow to allow them to set foot outside. In order for all of them to live on the ground, all of us will have to die." She heard the blonde hiss in anger, and there were several crashes and bangs that came from within the tent along with several agonized screams and sobs. Lexa had never heard Clarke sound like this before, and a part of her was frightened. She was able to see the extent that Clarke would go to in order to save her people, and she knew that if she did not repair their relationship, her people might very well turn into a bargaining chip.

"Clarke, It's going to be fine, shit I go-" there was a loud sound that came out of the piece of technology, sounding very similar to that of a gun shot. Clarke screamed again, this time it was a name.

"Bellamy! Bell? No! No! No!" Clarke's angry words turned to howls of grief, pain, and worry. Seconds later there were stomping sounds and the tent flap flew open, revealing a very distraught and furious blonde. She stalked right past where Lexa was hiding, muttering under her breath. Lexa only caught one sentence, but that alone was enough to send shivers up her spine. "I'll kill them all if it's the last thing I do."

She watched the blonde go, only beginning to follow her when she had neared the extent of Lexa's sight. She slipped stealthily through the night, keeping her eyes open and her ears pricked on alert. The blonde was too angry to listen to her surroundings, making Lexa's pursuit easier than it should have been. She let Clarke lead her back to the Tower, taking the elevator instead of the stairs like Clarke in order to arrive at her rooms before her mate knew of her departure. Once the dizzying ride was over, she practically fled to the safety of her rooms, taking deep breaths as she leaned against the solid wood of the door.

After several moments of stillness and quiet, Lexa removed herself from her position against the door and moved towards her dressers, which held her nightclothes. She undid the buckles and straps adorning her day-ware and slipped the constraining articles of clothing to the floor with a great sigh of relief. After removing her chest binder, she slipped on her favorite black nightdress. It did not hold in the heat, so she normally did not wear it during the winter, but she knew that if she were to face Clarke, she would need to look as unintimidating as possible.

She reached her hands up to her head, letting her fingers work through her hair, undoing the many elaborate braids that held her cascading, brown locks away from her face. When she was done, she swept her hair onto one side of her face, giving her a look of naivety and unique Lexaness. She heard stomping footsteps and the slam of a door down the hall. She knew Clarke had returned and now it was up to Lexa to gather enough courage to admit her faults and apologize to her _Seelehalb_.

She tiptoed out of her room and walked lightly towards Clarke's private chambers. There were muffled sobbing sounds and angry screams floating out from the crack under the door. Lexa knocked three times before entering, and the sight that greeted her eyes nearly broke her heart. There, on the floor, lay a hunched figure. It was holding its head in its hands and rocking back and forth. Its blonde hair was matted, and its fingers were bloodied and scabbed, as if they had been used to punch something recently. Lexa toed closer to the distraught girl, who she knew to be Clarke, and gently rubbed a hand on her back.

"I'm here, _ai_ _hodnes_ , for you, and for your people." Watery blue eyes turned up to look at her, and the hands removed themselves from the tear-stained face of her mate. Those hands began to push her away, weakly grabbing on to her nightdress and pushing away from Clarke. She grasped Clarke's hands and lowered herself down to a kneeling position beside the other girl. "I swear fealty to you, _Klark_ _kom_ _Skaikru_. I vow to treat your needs as my own, and your people as my people." She held eye contact with Clarke for the entirety of her vow, and when Clarke leaned into her, pressing a wet kiss to the side of her mouth, Lexa let her body release the tension and anxiety that had been built up since the meeting.

She grasped Clarke and pulled her closer, letting the blonde lay her head on Lexa's shoulder, releasing sobs of hurt and of joy. They sat like that until Clarke dozed into slumber, her breath coming evenly, and her sniffles growing farther apart. Lexa picked up Clarke and carried her to her bed, lying her down peacefully on the mattress under the furs. She crawled in afterwards, wrapping her body protectively around Clarke's own, and waited for sleep to claim her.

 _Clarke's POV_

She awoke feeling refreshed, and her heart light. She was cuddled beside Lexa, her mate's heat warming her under the comforting weight of the furs on top of them. She twisted her body around to face Lexa's, nuzzling her face into Lexa's chest. She heard quiet rumbles coming from Lexa's chest, sounding almost like purring. The arms around her tightened and Clark could feel Lexa's lips twitching into a small smile in her sleep. Clarke lay there; content to simply be within Lexa's arms until her _Seelehalb_ awoke on her own.

It was nearly a candle mark later when Clarke finally felt the brunette beside her come to life. She spoke huskily into the crook of Lexa's neck, "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

Lexa's own voice answered hers, still filled with the haziness of sleep. "You are the only beauty here, _hodnes_." Clarke lifted her hand and trailed her fingers over Lexa's collarbone and up her neck to her delicately defined face. She heard Lexa sigh into her touch, and Clarke felt an immense love fill up inside of her for the gentle woman beside her, who was forced to hind behind a ruthless mask to protect herself and the ones she loved.

"Thank you for what you said, Leska. I do not know if I could have carried on without you, no matter how I acted like I could. I felt broken inside without you by my side." Lexa's breath caught in her throat and Clarke had to remind her to breathe before her mate could answer again.

"I felt the same way, _Klark_. I could not live without you, and my biggest regret is pretending I could." Clarke felt the unsaid words hidden inside of Lexa's small speech, and it only made her affection and respect for the woman beside her grow.

"If we are to do this, we need to work as a team. Can you do that?" She pulled back slightly to look at Lexa, who nodded at her, keeping her green eyes locked on Clarke's blue ones. It was Lexa who moved forward that time, bringing her face closer to Clarke's. The blonde could see that Lexa was giving her time to pull away, but with a fierceness that Clarke did not know she possessed, she pulled the brunette closer to her, locking their lips together passionately. There were tears streaming down both of the their faces, and the kiss was sloppy, but it portrayed more than words ever could.

Unfortunately, several sharp wraps on Clarke's door destroyed their moment. Clarke broke the kiss and scowled at the offending wooden object, her petty anger directed intensely on the woman who stepped through the door and into the room. It was Anya; the woman who Clarke remembered had called her a common whore after her first night with Lexa in Polis. Lexa sat up beside Clarke, rubbing her back and menacing growls came through Clarke's lips. " _Klark_ , _hodnes_ , Anya did not mean to offend. Please do not be angry with her, she is very important to me." Clarke let out a frustrated whine as she turned to face Lexa with pleading eyes. "No, _Klark_." Clarke felt herself huff and she turned to glare at Anya again. However, she let her posture relax and the growls stopped.

She pouted while Lexa talked with Anya in a language that she could not understand. She watched as Lexa's face grew stony and anger filled in her eyes. When Anya left and Lexa turned around back to face her with regret and guilt in her features, Clarke furrowed her brows and let a questioning look rest on her features. "Anya has reported that the _natrona_ , Titus, has returned to Polis with the _Natblidas_. I need to take care of it, but it will be better if you did not come with me." Clarke let fury and disbelief cloud the curiosity on her face, and she opened her mouth to yell at Lexa. They were supposed to be a team. She was shushed by Lexa putting a slim finger over her mouth and speaking before she could. "It is not that I do not trust you, because I do. It is only that I wish to keep you hidden from him, and to the actions that I must take to punish him. It is for my own well being, please respect that." Clarke grew quiet, closing her mouth, and nodded at Lexa.

She saw the relief pour into Lexa's features, and the brunette leaned forward to give her a slight peck on the lips. "I will have drawing materials brought to your room so that you may entertain yourself in my absence." Clarke sighed as the watched her lover flit out of her room, closing the door softly behind her.

Half a candle mark after Lexa had left a serving girl entered the room carrying several canvases. A smaller boy who held a bucket full of brushes and a box of charcoals followed her. They both carried a row of paints as well, and Clarke looked on in amazement, the boredom that had filled her since Lexa's departure abated. They kept their heads lowered and eyes firmly on the floor and Clarke recognized it as a symbol of respect. They lay the materials down on the table in the corner of the room and retreated out of the room, making no acknowledgement of Clarke's appreciation for the gifts.

She sighed, wishing that Lexa's people would view her as a person, instead of as some legendary figure. Nevertheless, the made her way over to the table where she picked up a large canvas, which was made up of deerskin stretched and attached to several wooden rods. She picked up a sample of paint and examined it closely. It was thick and smelled sharply, although it was not unpleasant. She mounted the canvas on an easel made up of the back and arm rests of the nearest chair. She sat down across from it and began to comb through the brushes provided, looking for the ideal one to begin her painting.

She finally found one that suited her interests, and she dipped it in the first paint, letting the bristles fill with deep blue. She closed her eyes and began to paint, letting her spirit guide her fingers. Images flew to her minds eye and she painted them all, weaving together an intricate portrait of thoughts, hopes, and fears. She switched paints and brushes several times, but made sure never to look at her work. What felt like minutes later turned into hours, and soon Clarke could feel the intense chill of winter entering the room, even through the thick curtains, so she rose and dragged a fur off of the bed to wrap around herself.

She noticed how dark it had become and she searched around the room for something to light the many candles with. She finally found flint and small tinder in a bowl on a dresser. She lit the tinder within the small metal bowl and took a small wooden stick lying next to the bowl. She then proceeded to light every candle in the room, filling it with a bright glow and a comforting pine smell.

Clarke turned back to her chair, settling herself down into its depths and wrapping the blanket firmly around her. She took the time to analyze what she had painted on the canvas. There was a brilliant night sky filled with tiny stars and a shining moon. Its light rained down onto a dark forest, filled with towering trees and night animals. In the middle there was small clearing on a hill where a small figure faced away from the viewer, her hand placed on the back of a large wolf standing beside her. _'It looks so peaceful,'_ she thought.

She was interrupted by the sound of her door being opened very slowly, the opener obviously trying to be as quiet as possible. She stayed very still, not wanting to alert the opener to the fact that she was very much awake. She heard it walk into the room and there was a small gasp when it saw the painting on the chair. "You may come closer if you would like a better look," Clarke said, her brain screaming that this new person was not a threat to her.

She heard more shuffling steps, and in the light of the candles she saw a young boy walk towards her. His head was not bowed, and his posture was straight. Clarke felt a familiar presence within the boy, he reminded her so much of Lexa. His hair was sandy, and he had grey eyes, which sparkled brightly in the firelight. His face was freckled, and his body lanky underneath the heavy amounts of winter clothes he wore.

"And," Clarke continued, "Who might you be?" She watched as the boy gulped and fear entered eyes, although he did a very good job at trying to hide it from her.

" _Ai_ _laik_ Aden, _Gekozen_ ," the body responded, his voice proud yet still respectful.

"Well, Aden, I do not know how you found my room, or why you decided to enter it without permission, but it seems you have an appreciation for art." She saw shame and guilt enter Aden's eyes, and for the first time since she had met the child, he lowered his head and looked at the floor, rubbing his hands together nervously.

"I apologize, _Gekozen_ , I did not mean to offend you." Clarke simply waved her hand and rose from her chair. She pulled up two other chairs in the same position that she had hers arranged, and placed a smaller canvas on the empty chair next to the one that held her own canvas. She moved to the bed and grabbed another fur, placing it on the chair next to her own.

"I am not offended, Aden. And, please call me Clarke." She motioned the boy towards the chair with the fur, offering him a seat. The boy looked at her incredulously before moving to accept her offer. "Would you like to paint with me?" Aden's eyes widened and he nodded, looking at her with awe in his eyes.

"I have never been allowed to paint before," Aden said quietly, after accepting a paintbrush from Clarke.

Clarke looked at him gently, "You will have time to paint with me, Aden." She offered him a palate of paint and he dipped his brush into the white, and then into the red, mixing them together to create a hue of light pink. He paused before applying the brush to the canvas, his grip heavy and his posture tense. Clarke laid a hand on his shoulder after putting her own brush down. The boy's head dropped, averting his gaze from Clarke's own. "What is wrong, Aden?"

"I do not know how to paint, Clarke." She removed her hand from his shoulder and used it to lift the boy's head to look at her.

"Not knowing something does not make you weak. It makes you stronger because it allows you to learn more. If you would like to learn, I will teach you." The boy's eyes grew hopeful and he nodded quickly.

" _Sha_. _Beja_ , Clarke." Clarke dipped her head in response, not knowing exactly what the boy had said, but understanding that it was a positive answer to her question.

"Alrighty then. What would you like to paint?"

"I would like to paint the sunrise, if that is acceptable?" The boy answered. His formal voice pained Clarke and reminded her even more of Lexa's Commander façade.

"It is very acceptable, Aden. But only if you loosen up a little bit. Painting should be relaxing and fun. You are a child, act like it." She smiled at him before bringing paint-covered hand to his face and drawing several different colored lines down his cheeks and forehead. He gasped in surprise and indignation, trying to pull his shocked face into a condemning one. Clarke chuckled at this and only spattered him with more paint. At his facial expression, she began to cackle, her chest heaving and tears leaking out of her eyes.

However she stopped momentarily when she felt something wet run down her face. She looked at Aden, who was smirking next to her, holding the pink-covered paintbrush in his hand. "Why, you little prat!" She snarled playfully. His smirk only grew.

"Did I do something wrong, Clarke?" Aden asked innocently. Clark narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, turning her body away from Aden's. "Clarke?" She heard the boy ask, genuine worry and fear in his voice this time. Clarke smiled mischievously to herself as she dipped her hands into the black paint. She felt Aden moved slightly closer to her, and with a war cry she turned around and slapped her paint-covered hands across his face, leaving him with two solid hand marks on his pale face.

His mouth fell open in surprise. "You can't best me, little one. I know all the tricks." This time is was her turn to smirk. She turned back towards his canvas, her smirk turning into a genuine grin. "I have a better idea of what to paint."

He raised an eyebrow at this. She took her paint-covered hand and laid it on the canvas, leaving a similar hand mark on the deerskin. Clarke then grasped Aden's hand and used his brush to paint his hand pink. She laid it on the deerskin next to her own, leaving two handprints, one small and one slightly bigger. He grinned at her, and she smiled back. They continued to paint their hands and lay them on the canvas, creating an abstract sunrise out of handprints. Eventually, Clarke realized that the boy was no longer adding to the masterpiece and she looked down at him.

He was cuddled up in the furs, covered in paint, with his mouth open slightly and small snores drifting out. She felt her own tiredness rise within her, and she allowed her eyes to close and her head to rest against the back of the chair. She promised herself a moments rest only, but as soon as her eyes closed, she drifted into an equally deep slumber.

 _Lexa's POV_

When Titus saw Anya standing beside Lexa, both women wearing equally murderous expressions, his face paled and became grim. They stalked towards him, and Titus just barely managed to find voice enough to send the Natblidas away. When Lexa reached him, he was cowering, his head bowed to the floor. "You lied Titus. You disobeyed me. Your treachery will cost you your life." Titus looked as if he had expected this reaction, but he still raised his head and opened his mouth to speak.

"She made you care, Heda. It is not wise. To be Heda is to be alone." Lexa snarled at this, flipping her favorite dagger into her hand and pressing it to his throat.

"That was not your decision to make, Titus." Lexa growled menacingly. Titus looked at her with disdain in his eyes.

"She made you weak. You were weak, distracted." Lexa dug the dagger deeper into his neck so that a trickle of red blood began to ebb out.

"I am more than capable of separating feelings from duty!" She yelled, looking ferocious. She then yelled to the guards, which were standing respectfully behind her. "Take him and put him on a tree. His fight is over." She removed her dagger and watched as the guards dragged Titus away. Her breathing was still coming faster than normal, and the murderous expression on her face was barely hidden behind her stoic façade.

Anya moved to put a hand on her shoulder. She tensed at the contact but allowed it. She had trusted Titus, allowed him to become a sort of father figure as she grew and took command, and he had thrown that in her face. She hardened her heart and walked away from Anya towards the clearing used for punishment on the opposite side of town.

Several candle marks later all villagers had given Titus a cut, many of them very deep, after hearing his crimes. Titus lasted through it all, until Lexa drove her sword through his heart. She felt her own clench, but she refused to feel anything. She withdrew her sword and wiped it on the grass. Lexa walked away from the clearing, leaving the guards to take down his body and prepare it for burning. She knew that a new _Fleimkepa_ would be instated shortly, and she hoped that he would be more progressive than the last.

Lexa walked back towards the tower in silence. Anya had stayed behind to watch over the removal of the body, and the planning for the instatement of the next _Fleimkepa_. She let her feet guide her back, through the lobby and up the stairs to her own room. However, she paused before entering, wanting to see Clarke before she lost herself in a fretful sleep. She turned and quietly walked towards Clarke's room. It was dark outside, nearly the middle of the night, but Lexa could see the glow of candles underneath the crack in the door.

She pushed open the door gently, barely making any noise. After closing the door behind her she turned to face the room. In her direct path of sight were two canvases, one a beautifully painted scene of forest and sky, and the other an eclectic and abstract version of a sunset made of large and small handprints. She had not seen much of Clarke's art, but what sat in front of her took her breath away.

She walked closer and noticed that in front of the two canvases were two chairs, both holding a person. She peered over the chairs and noticed that there was a boy sleeping in one, his head resting on Clarke's shoulder. Clarke herself was curled up in the chair, one of her hands resting protectively over the boy's shoulders. She did not immediately recognize the boy, mostly because the two of them were coated in paint, but after seeing a familiar patch of sandy hair and freckles under the paint, she let out a shocked gasp.

It was Aden. She loved that boy almost like he was her own son. She was glad that he had found Clarke, who would teach him to live in a world where finding beauty was not a privilege, and living, not surviving, was the norm. She smoothed his hair down, and looked to Clarke. A small smile flickered on her lips, and she felt love welling up inside of her for the small family she had built for herself. She would not allow for anybody, no matter how important, take that away from her. It was her way of living in a world that forced the pressure of survival on them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Just a warning… This chapter gets a little angsty and has several triggers. I wanted to make Clarke a more realistic character in this story. Yes, she's strong and protective and vulnerable, but what made her that way? What are her fears? No relationships are perfect, including her and Lexa's. I thought that there needed to be something that brought them together, something that really forced them both to be vulnerable and learn how to trust in each other. There won't be many chapters with severe angst, it will mostly be action and fluff (maybe a little smut ;)) but a story without virility bores me.**

 _Lexa's POV_

She walked away from her sleeping family towards Clarke's bed. She decided that she would simply spend the night here and deal with everything else in the morning. She paused to blow out many of the candles in the room, dimming the lighting to a dull glow. She crawled under the furs and let her head fall heavy on the pillows, within minutes she was lost to the darkness of the dream world.

She woke to a beam of light streaming through the gap in the curtains and landing directly on her face. She grunted and rolled over, desperate to avoid the realm of consciousness and the responsibilities that came with it. However, she finally sat up when she heard several peals of giggles coming from across the room. She rubbed her eyes blearily and saw Clarke and Aden sitting at the table eating breakfast. They were both looking at her mussed appearance and sleep riddled features. She glared playfully at them before dragging herself out of bed and towards the table.

She could feel hunger gnawing at her stomach and she mentally berated herself for neglecting to eat yesterday. She sat down at the head of the table and grabbed a plate, filling it up with toasted bread, meat, and fresh fruit. Lexa set to work on her food in silence, pausing every now and then to look up at the people sitting beside her. She flipped through her memories of last night, remembering both Clarke and Aden asleep and covered in paint. She cocked her head to look at the paintings, which were both still leaning up against chairs set slightly away from the table.

"They are beautiful," Lexa commented, looking into Clarke's eyes.

"Aden has the potential to be very talented with practice," Clarke answered. Lexa noted that neither Clarke nor Aden was still covered in paint and ascertained that both must have washed off slightly before breakfast.

"I'm sure," Lexa replied, looking proudly at Aden, who was blushing slightly under the attention he was being given. "However, I am not entirely sure how you ended up painting with Clarke." Clarke looked thoughtful and nodded along, turning to look at Aden, who was now blushing furiously.

"I did not intend to be in Clarke's room, _Heda_. I was looking for you after the _Natblidas_ returned, but I saw that your room was dark, while Clarke's was filled with light." He dropped his eyes to the floor. "I was curious about who had the honor of staying on _Heda's_ personal floor."

Lexa let her lips twitch upwards, but she still spoke relatively sternly to the boy sitting on her left. "I see you have had all of your questions answered. However, next time you will make sure to ask before entering." Aden's grey eyes flicked upwards towards her own and he nodded, small amounts of guilt and relief in his gaze. "Now, off you go. We have lessons in the mid-afternoon." Aden stood up from his chair, scraping its legs against the tile floors. He bowed to Lexa and then to Clarke before leaving the room.

"He is a very sweet boy," Clarke commented as they watched him leave. Lexa turned towards Clarke and smiled broadly.

"He is the most promising of the Natblidas," Lexa responded, pride evident in her voice. "He will be Heda when I die." Clarke glared at her sharply when she said this.

"Your spirit will be staying exactly where it is, Lexa." Lexa almost laughed at Clarke's antics. Their spirits were bond to each other; death or another lifetime could not separate them. She told Clarke this and watched an elegant blonde eyebrow arch upwards. "My statement still stands."

Lexa shook her head, mirth filling her eyes. "Aden reminds me of you." Lexa could feel her happiness draining out.

"No," she whispered, pain in her voice, "He is nothing like me." She sat stiffly in her chair, her mind entombed in the memories of her past, haunted with deadly choices, and ruthless massacres. She was only broken from blood-soaked images painted on the insides of her eyelids when a soft hand covered her own.

"You did what you had to do to survive, to save your people, to create peace. What you have created is far greater than the cost of what you paid to create it, Lexa." She heard the kindness and understanding in the blonde's town. Lexa wanted to believe what she had said, but her heart would not let her.

"I am a murderer, Clarke. I am covered in blood, the blood of enemies, and the blood of friends." Clarke's hand gripped tighter around her own.

"As am I, Lexa. You were never alone in the struggles you faced, and you will never be in the ones to come." Lexa felt her vision blur and she tried desperately tried to control her emotions.

"Thank you, Clarke. But it is I who must give myself forgiveness for what I have done."

Clarke looked at her with beautiful blue eyes, misted slightly with unshed tears. "I am here for you, Lexa, if you need me." Lexa could not speak, so she simply nodded her appreciation. She took a moment more to allow her body to fill with the usually repressed emotions, before stuffing them away again and caging her heart in its icy cage.

"There is a meeting today at midday for the leaders and their generals. You and Octavia may bring the radio that you discussed yesterday." Clarke nodded, looking slightly stunned at her change in attitude, but remaining silent to respect Lexa's pride and sense of normalcy. She watched as Clarke let her features harden and become more business like.

"Octavia and I found a working radio and have talked to some our people within the Mountain. However, since neither of us can understand Trigedasleng, we will need a translator." Lexa frowned at this.

"You have been able to understand it in the past," she commented. Clarke brought a hand to her head, attempting to smooth away the worry creases present on her brow.

"Only when I am deeply immersed in my Spirit can I fully understand the language," Clarke explained. "When I am in my wolf form, or close to it, it is easier for me to understand. But, since I am very much human at the present moment, I'm afraid that option is ruled out."

Lexa nodded sagely. "All warriors can speak _gonasleng_ , or the _Skaikru_ language. We will simply hold the meeting in your native tongue."

"Thank you," her mate responded. "I am not entirely sure where Octavia is, but-" her sentence was interrupted as the door to Clarke's room swung open, banging against the opposite wall.

 _Clarke's POV_

"Ottenga battuto giù ottengono il recupero ancora, il mio asino! (Get knocked down get back up again, my ass!)" Octavia raged into the room, limping slightly and holding onto her stomach. Clarke looked at her in horrid amazement. Her friend's body was covered in blood and bruises. She sported two black eyes, and what looked like several broken fingers. She had begun speaking in Italian, Clarke noticed, and that usually happened when she was very mad. It was lucky that Clarke had been an excellent student at languages, and had managed to teach herself several while in prison.

"Che cosa voi ha fatto, Octavia? (What did you do, Octavia?)" Clarke said to her friend as she moved closer to help support her friend, who was now stumbling around desperately trying to stay on her feet. Clarke grabbed her around the waist and helped her walk slowly to a chair, where she sat down and Clarke anxiously began a head to toe check-up.

"La femmina maledetta lo ha messo nell'anello di combattimento, (Damn bitch put me in the fighting ring)" This was mumbled furiously through the bleeding nose, causing her words to sound stuffy and disjointed.

"Chi? Che cosa? Che? (Who? What? Who?)" Clarke poked a bruise and the brunette squirmed, trying to hold in her whimpers.

"Indra," Octavia spat, "Un certo tipo lo ha insultato in modo da lo ho perforato, (Some guy insulted me, so I punched him)" Octavia shrugged, this time letting out a hissed whimper from between her clenched teeth. Clarke stiffened and turned towards a very confused looking Lexa. She was about to walk towards her mate, fists clenched tightly at her sides, when she felt a hand preventing her from moving forward.

"Clarke, distenda, per favore!" Clarke whirled around to look incredulously at her friend. "Ha detto che ho avuto un buon punzone ed avrei fatto un forte guerriero… bicchierino lungo di storia, sono il suo secondo, un guerriero nell'addestramento (She said I had a strong punch and would make a good warrior… long story short, I'm her second, a warrior in training)."

Clarke's jaw dropped and she started to splutter. Eventually Clarke was able to formulate her mind into semi-coherent thoughts and the first thing she said was, "OCTAVIA MARIE BLAKE!" She watched as Octavia flinched slightly at each name hurled at her from Clarke's foaming mouth. "You could have been badly injured! You could have died! How could you do that to me?" Clarke truthfully wasn't very mad at Octavia she was just terrified. Octavia was the last person she had with her, the last part of her family until they took down the Mountain. Still, her voice was sharp and hurtful.

"I have the right to make my own choices, Princess," she spat and Clarke visibly recoiled, looking like she had been slapped. "I finally found somewhere where I belong. Can't you just be happy for me, or are you too jealous?" Clarke stepped back, panic filling her eyes. Her brain was short-circuiting. Her mind was filled with memories of her father, of Wells, of her mother; of all the family she had lost for the greater good, a good that she had never found.

Clarke could feel her lip wobbling and she felt tears begin to well up in her bright, blue eyes. She turned around, not even pausing to look at Lexa, before running across the room and out of the door. She ran as fast as she could down the stairs, through the lobby, and out of the Tower. She was breathing heavily, sobs echoing out of her chest, tears running their course down her flushed cheeks. She ran blindly, sometimes tripping over her feet, scraping her hands and knees. She ran until she was several kilometers deep into the forest.

She crawled into a small dugout in the ground in between the roots of a great tree. It looked abandoned, but Clarke couldn't find it within herself to care whether it was safe or not. She needed to escape, to run away from the thoughts and feelings she wasn't yet ready to face. She lay there in the dirt, her body frozen in panic, paralyzed by illogical fear. Her breathing came in sharp, fast pants and she felt her body become light and tingly. Several minutes later she passed out.

She woke to being surrounded by furry warmth. She blinked her eyes and saw several large bodies surrounding her. She was grateful for their body heat, having neglected to wear winter clothes before her unplanned excursion into the forest. She ran her fingers through the furry pelt closest to her, feeling its softness, still slightly wet from melted snow. The fur was black and dark brown, and Clarke recognized it as _Hainofa_. She assumed that the others were members of the pack as well, although she was not as familiar with them.

Her heart felt lighter with their comforting presence, lending her the strength and familial love that she craved so dearly. She felt the familiar pang of loneliness that accompanied her whenever she was separated from Lexa, and she felt a pang of guilt for abandoning her _Seelehalb_ like that. However, Clarke couldn't bring herself to feel too remorseful. Her body and mind were too tired, to worn down emotionally, to feel much of anything.

She thought of her family, of her friends, both the old and the new. She remembered the deaths of every person she had ever loved, and felt the pain freshly from their passing. She wasn't strong enough to save them. To weak to protect the ones she loved. She had failed them. She hung her head, and felt shame rise up within her. Octavia was right. She didn't belong anywhere. The only comfort she felt was lying in Lexa's arms. But Clarke knew that everyone she cared for died, and eventually fate would take Lexa away from her. It was cruel, Clarke thought, to give somewhat a heart full of passion, only to rip it to shreds until all that remained was an empty cavern where it used to be.

She wanted someone to understand. Someone who would accept the person that she was, and the woman she had been forced to become, someone to hold her when the nightmares took their toll, and someone to hold her hand in quiet strength and support. She needed Lexa, but she didn't feel worthy.

She pushed that thought away, trying to hide her deepest fears, and buried her face into Hainofa's warm and gentle body.


	22. Chapter 22

**Fun fact about Yours Truly: I am literally the most accident-prone person the world has ever seen – B**

 _Lexa's POV_

She watched as her lover fled the room; unshed tears shining brightly in her storming eyes. Lexa could see the sadness that pooled there, accompanied by the all too familiar feelings of guilt and long-hidden pain. There was a clattering of footsteps down the hallway and then silence. She turned towards Octavia, a murderous rage rising up within her. The younger brunette looked shocked and remorseful. Her eyes widened at seeing Lexa's response and she held her hands up in surrender, backing away slowly.

Before Lexa could say anything there was an unearthly crackling that filled the tense air. Both of their heads swiveled around to meet the noise. "Clarke? Are you there?" It was a feminine voice this time. Octavia moved slowly, keeping her eyes pinned on Lexa the entire time. She picked out a piece of black technology from the bag at her side. Lexa watched with narrowed eyes as the girl pressed a button and spoke back into the device.

"Um, Raven, Clarke isn't here right now…" she looked up sheepishly at Lexa, who glared back at her.

"Well, when she gets back from wherever the hell she is, can you tell her that I talked with Bellamy and the rest of the 100? I told them about our plan, and I have successfully completed stage one."

Lexa raised her eyebrow and Octavia asked her unspoken question back into the radio. "Excellent. I knew you could do it." There was a slight pause before the voice returned.

"Now that the fog is down, thanks to my brilliance and love of destruction, we need to get a move on to stage two." There was a pause while Octavia considered this, shame etched deeply into her features.

"We need Clarke for stage two." There was a breathy laugh from over the intercom.

"And since when has that become a problem, Octavia?" The feminine voice replied.

Octavia shot a quick glance at Lexa, "It's not a problem. Everything's under control don't worry. Try to get everything ready for stage three while we work from over here." There was affirmation from over the radio and then there was silence.

Lexa looked at Octavia, who had begun to open her mouth to explain. "I will hear none of it, ignorant girl. What you said was hurtful and wrong, and now we are lacking a vital member needed for the destruction of the mountain." She watched as Octavia bowed her head, grief filling her eyes.

"I will go and find her. You will stay here." And with that, Lexa strutted out of the room, her cape billowing out from behind her. She abandoned her guards in the lobby and strode briskly into the city, searching for Clarke's trail. She knew that the girl felt a strong connection to the forest, so she assumed that in her panicked state she would have fled somewhere she felt safe in.

She looked up to the skies, noticing the darkening clouds and frosty air. Being outside for prolonged times in the winter weather never ended well, and she was anxious for Clarke's well being. She trusted the Spirit within Clarke, but she did not trust Clarke's ability follow her Spirit, and to bow to its instructions. Her _Seelehalb_ was strong. It was something that Lexa greatly admired, but even she admitted that strength was not all encompassing and that emotional turmoil could not always be pushed away.

She guessed that Clarke was dealing with her pain in the best way that she knew how, but Lexa was not familiar enough with her mate to know exactly what the extent and reason for her lover's pain. She was nearing the edge of the city, and by this time the sun was low in the sky, painting the oncoming darkness with unearthly streaks of red. It took Lexa by surprise. Never before had she seen a sight like this, and she paused slightly in her journey to admire its fearsome beauty.

Others gathered around her. It seemed she had not been the only one to notice the abnormal sunset that accompanied that fateful winter day. A red sky foretold victory, a battle of bloodshed and of death. It was the sign of vengeance. And then, suddenly, from the depths of the forest, emerged a single white wolf with intricate black designs marking its snowy fur.

"Clarke," Lexa breathed, letting the shock overcome her momentarily. She, and the rest of her people, watched as the wolf slowly approached, never letting its storming blue eyes waver from Lexa's. It stopped several meters away from Lexa, and Lexa saw a flash of Clarke flit momentarily through the wolf's eyes. And then a howl broke the awed silence. It was keening and throaty, raising the small hairs on Lexa's arms.

She watched as more wolves began to pour out of the forest. There were approximately twenty large wolves, of the same size as Clarke, which were then followed by close to eighty medium sized wolves. The two largest wolves approached the white wolf and stood behind her, as if flanking her like Lexa's personal generals did to her. The rest of the wolves behind her added to Clarke's howls, creating a powerful and blood-curling melody that rode the blustering wind.

The white wolf took a step forward towards Lexa, breathing hot hair onto her face. It then let out a sharp bark, which instantly distilled silence amongst the following wolves, who bowed their heads towards her. _"We fight!"_ Was snarled viciously into her mind, and from the awed gasps and cheers from the people surrounding her, she assumed they had also received Clarke's message.

Lexa nodded her head in acquiescence, still feeling awfully surprised and unsuspecting of such an act. She watched as Clarke turned around and led the wolves back into the forest. Her eyes kept close watch on the single white wolf in the forefront of its fellows until she lost sight. Several minutes after the last wolf tail had whipped into the darkness of the trees, Clarke reappeared in human form.

She was wearing the same clothes she had been in before fleeing the tower several candle marks previously. They were wrinkled and light patches of dirt decorated the animal skin leggings and cloth sweater. Her face was tired and set like stone, her determination and weariness etched into the very planes of her face. She walked confidently towards Lexa, but Lexa could see the shivers and tremors that ran through her mate's body.

Clarke swayed slightly as she approached, and when she came into an arm's length reach of Lexa, she stopped, leaning heavily on her left leg to keep herself stabilized. "There is much to talk about, Commander." Her words were heavy and her voice quiet. Lexa reached out to Clarke's right shoulder, lending her the support she needed to remain upright.

"After you rest we shall talk." Clarke shook her head and Lexa furrowed her brows in confusion and annoyance.

"No, we need to talk now." Clarke demanded. "I'm fine. I will rest later." However as she said this, she swayed violently and began to fall after losing her balance. Lexa acted instinctually, moving to support the blonde as she fell. Clarke landed in her arms and Lexa tightened them around her, holding her in a vice like grip. She used her legs to push upward, ignoring the burn, until she held Clarke in the bridal position.

She felt Clarke struggling weakly against her, demanding into her shoulder to "let her go." Lexa almost snorted at the statement and its inherent ridiculousness. She thought it simply to be about Clarke's shame at being carried through the city in Lexa's arms, but when the blonde spoke again, the meaning of her words took another path.

"You're too good for me, Lexa, so strong and capable. I'm a failure to my people, and to myself. Everyone I love dies, and you can't die. You're people need you." Lexa clutched her tighter and felt her heart pang in her chest, causing it to swoop and flutter in both love and worry. Lexa lowered herself to the ground, holding Clarke and rocking her against her chest, cooing loving words into the damp, blonde hair of her _Seelehalb_.

"We are made for each other _Klark, ai hodnes, ai Seelehalb_. Love is not about deserving or worthiness. As for dying, our souls are entwined, so we will never live a life without the other again. My people need me _Klark_ , but without you, there is no me, just an empty shell." Lexa spoke these words fervently, as much to herself as to Clarke.

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa and clung there desperately, her nails digging deeply through Lexa's outerwear and into her skin. It made Lexa feel wanted and she clutched Clarke even tighter against her chest, burying her face into the mass of golden curls. For how long they stayed like that, Lexa did not know, but when she felt the beginning of snowflakes land on the exposed part of her neck, she knew that it was time to move inside.

She lifted Clarke gently, noticing the limpness and soft snores coming from the blonde. Her lips twitched upwards in the direction of a smile and she felt an impossible amount of love well up inside her, threatening to come leaking out of her in the form of tears. She silently thanked the Spirit for bringing such a person into her life. She would worry about the Mountain later, for now, she promised herself a night alone as Lexa without the responsibilities of the Commander.

Her guards met her halfway through her trek back up to the Tower, and she quickly shot out several demands to them in rapid-fire _Trigedasleng_. They bowed and retreated hastily back in the direction of the Tower, leaving Lexa to wander the streets of her city with the love of her life resting peacefully in her arms. When they finally reached the tall building, Lexa felt her own tiredness growing within her.

She motioned to the servant standing by the elevator, and with a single frightened nod, he ushered them into the lift and proceeded to activate it. Within minutes, Lexa stood on the floor of her personal chambers. She walked towards her room, motioning to a guard with her head to open the door for the two of them.

Inside was a steaming bath and pre-lit candles, which illuminated the room and cast a warm glow over the room. Upon her entrance, the servants and guards bowed and then left, closing the door quietly after them. She looked down at the angel in her arms as she walked towards the nearest chair. After sitting down she removed one of her hands from under Clarke, and began to stroke the girl's blonde locks and flushed face. Clarke stirred in her arms and after several more delicate strokes by Lexa's hand she opened her blue eyes.

Lexa smiled as she gazed down into those beautiful eyes, mesmerized by the power and love within them. "How do you feel about a bath, Clarke?" She whispered teasingly. The blonde huffed and lightly shoved her before clambering off of Lexa's lap. Lexa missed the warmth the girl had provided momentarily until she was provided with a completely different kind of heat. Clarke stood next to the bath with her back facing Lexa. She had removed her top, and was undoing her breast binder.

When Clarke bent down to untie her pants and slip her boots off, Lexa felt herself wanting to pull the blonde right back onto her lap. In the next moment, she watched as her mate removed her last articles of clothing and stood naked in front of her. Her mouth watered and then went dry as her eyes drank in the sight before her. She blushed slightly when Clarke turned and smirked at her obviously enraptured expression.

"Are you coming, Lexa? Or are you going to sit there gaping like an idiot?" The blonde shot at her playfully, her previously insecure mood shoved away to the side. Lexa only managed to nod her head frantically several times, her blush increasing as Clarke laughed at her awkwardness. With incredible haste, Lexa stripped her clothing off, not entirely missing Clarke's steady gaze that raked over her uncovered body.

This time it was Lexa's turn to smirk, causing the blonde's eyebrows to scrunch together and a light pink blush to rise up her neck to her cheeks. Lexa sidled up to her, until they were standing flush against each other. Clarke let out a breathy moan, and with satisfaction, Lexa allowed her leg to slip in between Clarke's own. Her muscled thigh parted Clarke's folds and came away wet. She felt as Clarke's hands rose to grip her shoulders, digging her nails deep into Lexa's tanned skin.

She moved her leg back and forth slowly, antagonizing Clarke, who was beginning to breathe heavily, letting out interment whimpers and moans as Lexa neared the spot she desperately needed to be touched at.

Lexa snaked a hand down to play with Clarke's clit, as her leg continued to move back and forth, increasing its pace. She felt Clarke grind against her leg, her pace becoming faster as her orgasm built. Finally the blonde girl began to shudder and with a screamed, "Leska, please," she came over Lexa's leg, crumpling into the Lexa's strong arms, which held her securely in place.

"Are you ready for your bath now, ai hodnes?" Lexa asked hoarsely into her Seelehalb's ear. The other girl's body shuddered again before an equally throaty voice answered her own.

"Oh gods, yes."


End file.
